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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do the washing up in diamonds?

175 replies

38cody · 02/01/2017 23:43

Not just in Diamonds but...
When I lost my wedding ring my Great Aunt gifted me a beautiful 14 Diamond eternity style ring, she had it made in the 70's and it's very lovely and looks fab with my engagement ring. I've had it for about a year and wear it every day as a wedding band. It's way nicer than my original.
She's one of those people who give you something but don't quite let go. I took her on holiday and she was tutting because I swim with my rings on, complains to my mother (her sister) that I garden with them on and nearly collapsed when I played in the kids sandpit wearing 'her' diamonds.
Anyway, on boxing day I was doing lots of washing up - I usually dishwash everything but we already had a load in so I handwashed the rest. That evening she noticed that a stone was missing from the ring and she is really really cross and keeps bleating on about how she had it all those years and only wore it occasionally and how upset she is and how nobody ever washes up in a diamond ring and it was bound to happen!
I'll get the stone replaced but I'm not a 'keep for best' kind of person and like to enjoy wearing it daily.
So my question is really - Do you take off your rings (if they have a stone) every time you wash up, bath the kids, go swimming, play in the sand...etc etc and AIBU not to do so?

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 02/01/2017 23:45

God no, but mines not worth a ton, I might be more careful if it was.

Sorry I'm presuming yours is going of your aunts reaction.

Gillian1980 · 02/01/2017 23:46

I never take my rings off to do dishes, bathe dd etc. Obviously I'd be upset if I lost any diamonds but I reckon if I take them off I'm more likely to lose the whole ring!

AMillionMilesFromThere · 02/01/2017 23:47

What a strange aunt !

I've had my diamond engagement ring on since I got engaged nine years ago, and I haven't taken it off since. It's perfectly fine.

My second diamond ring however, I have worn occasionally/sometimes longer as it's bigger, and I was shocked to find within a year I had lost a diamond from the halo bit at the top. They've replaced the diamond for free although it was out of warranty but I'm definitely keeping it for occasion wear from now on!

Littleballerina · 02/01/2017 23:48

yabu of course she's upset, after one year you have lost a stone. You have not looked after it properly. Plus, surely if she's your mothers sister she is your aunt not great aunt? And for saying 'gifted me'.

UnbornMortificado · 02/01/2017 23:50

And for saying 'gifted me'.

What a strange thing for you to say. The op can describe it however she want Hmm

Jellybean83 · 02/01/2017 23:50

The only time I take my ring off is when I shower because my hair gets wrapped up in the prongs and pulls it out when I'm shampooing.

rollonthesummer · 02/01/2017 23:50

Why did she give it to you?!

Letseatgrandma · 02/01/2017 23:52

Aunt or great aunt?

Crap gift if she is going to constantly watch whaxy you do with it!!

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2017 23:54

And for saying 'gifted me'.

FFS Hmm

Original poster
38cody · 02/01/2017 23:56

Can't see why 'gited me' is wrong.
You are quite right - she is my aunt - I'm so used to referring to her as 'Great Aunt X" to my children I accidently called her great aunt - does it matter? Not really the point.
I don't think it's worth as much as she thinks it is, I really don't know.
She gave it to me because she has arthritis in her fingers and it's way too small for her, I'm the closest relative that it fits.

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 03/01/2017 00:00

I'm more likely to lose the whole ring if I keep taking it off so it only comes off for covering cakes with icing.

UnbornMortificado · 03/01/2017 00:03

There's nothing wrong with gifted me just ignore it.

People like to jump on the oddest of things.

nokidshere · 03/01/2017 00:03

I've worn my engagement ring for 30 years and have never taken it off for any activity - and it was already 50 yrs old when I was given it!

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 03/01/2017 00:04

Just tell her that u treasure it so much that you scared of losing it if you take it off and people are always commenting on it. Say you found the diamond, when u get it replaced and hope she can't tell. Peace all round

I'm a terrible liar in RL, I've confessed many things to my mum without her even saying a word

AMillionMilesFromThere · 03/01/2017 00:04

Gifted me gifted me gifted me gifted me.

There Grin

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 03/01/2017 00:04

I'd agree that you're most likely to lose it if it's on and off... the cost of a repair is far cheaper than a full replacement so yanbu.

However- if it's channel set diamonds across the band and you have lost a stone you need to stop wearing it and get it fixed immediately. Channel set stones rely on each other for strength and it wouldn't take a big knock for more stones to go amiss given that the ring is already compromised.

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2017 00:07

I wear my Mum's engagement ring, which I've just realised is over 60 years old now.

She never took it off when she was alive and I don't take it off either.

AmeliaJack · 03/01/2017 00:12

I wear my rings ever day. I wouldn't take them off for normal daily activities but I do remove them for swimming.

Clearly it's precious to your Aunt. Get the stone replaced and keep it for best. Get a plain band to replace your wedding ring.

Original poster
38cody · 03/01/2017 00:14

Oh good - I'm not being totally irresponsible then!
I've already taken it off as DH is taking it to be repaired (and valued)

Thanks millionmiles

OP posts:
5OBalesofHay · 03/01/2017 00:16

I took my lovely engagement ring off at night as it had opals so soft settings. I was running late one morning, forgot to put it on and got burgled.

So you try to look after things and still lose them.

dibbley · 03/01/2017 00:16

Gifted and talented?

BadToTheBone · 03/01/2017 00:18

I never take my engagement ring off, wearing it for daily washing keeps it sparkly clean.

TheCuriousOwl · 03/01/2017 00:22

I wear my diamonds for pretty much everything except showering, sleeping and doing anything it might catch on because my diamond ring is a star and very spiky! Not engagement ring though. My DP knows I need something flattish so I don't catch it on stuff. I never take my Tiffany ring off though (has no stones). What's the point of having something if you don't wear it?

altiara · 03/01/2017 00:24

My wedding ring has 10 minuscule diamonds spaced out around the band. I've lost one not because I wasn't looking after it, it just happened at some point can't remember when. I'm not going to take my rings off for any reason after having left my engagement ring in the work toilets and also couldn't find it once after taking it off for swimming. Best to just keep them on I think.
If she gifted you the ring to replace your wedding band then you wear it all the time, if it was for 'best' then you need a new ring.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 03/01/2017 00:24

I lost the main stone from my 18 year old engagement ring last year and discovered it actually WASi irreplaceable (sapphire from a specific Thai mine. DH replaced my ring with a completely new one but I'd certainly not be cavalier with "it's lost a stone but I'll get it replaced at some point",

I can see why, if you are wearing it while it's already a stone, she feels like you might not be respecting its "worth" to her

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