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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do the washing up in diamonds?

175 replies

38cody · 02/01/2017 23:43

Not just in Diamonds but...
When I lost my wedding ring my Great Aunt gifted me a beautiful 14 Diamond eternity style ring, she had it made in the 70's and it's very lovely and looks fab with my engagement ring. I've had it for about a year and wear it every day as a wedding band. It's way nicer than my original.
She's one of those people who give you something but don't quite let go. I took her on holiday and she was tutting because I swim with my rings on, complains to my mother (her sister) that I garden with them on and nearly collapsed when I played in the kids sandpit wearing 'her' diamonds.
Anyway, on boxing day I was doing lots of washing up - I usually dishwash everything but we already had a load in so I handwashed the rest. That evening she noticed that a stone was missing from the ring and she is really really cross and keeps bleating on about how she had it all those years and only wore it occasionally and how upset she is and how nobody ever washes up in a diamond ring and it was bound to happen!
I'll get the stone replaced but I'm not a 'keep for best' kind of person and like to enjoy wearing it daily.
So my question is really - Do you take off your rings (if they have a stone) every time you wash up, bath the kids, go swimming, play in the sand...etc etc and AIBU not to do so?

OP posts:
Jux · 04/01/2017 17:55

Of course I take them off for things like that. They're much treasured, mum's wedding ring, dad's signet ring and their eternity ring. The first two are generations old. I wear them every day though, just put them so ewhere safe when I'm doing things where they could be lost or damaged; either that, or wear appropriate gloves.

I don't blame your aunt for being pissed off.

FurryLittleTwerp · 04/01/2017 17:56

I take my diamond rings off for making pastry, otherwise they stay on.

debbiew21 · 04/01/2017 17:58

My mum always took hers off- she had one of those ring trees in the kitchen. But I can never be bothered despite the fact that I've stopped wearing my engagement ring due to losing 3 small diamonds out of it! So yes I suppose we should probably take them off to protect them when washing up etc but I still never do. Life is too short. The only time I take my rings off is when I'm making bread/pastry because it sticks like cement.

strawberrisc · 04/01/2017 17:58

I can't be doing with Indian givers. Tell her to do one.

Grenoble124 · 04/01/2017 17:59

I wear mine all the time. Used to take thrm off but not insured now so fogure they're safer on. Thy have loads of little diamonds and one big one. Had a little one replaced after a fall but otherwise all good.

The only thing I would say is that it is handmade and you have already lost a stone is to get it checked as it may be weak.

Marymoosmum14 · 04/01/2017 18:07

I always room my engagement ring off when washing pots, having a bath or swimming, but that's just me. I don't think it is unreasonable to do so.

takesnoprisoners · 04/01/2017 18:08

Once she handed you the ring it is up to you to use it the way you see fit. It's not like it was the Kohi-noor and irreplacable!

Floey · 04/01/2017 18:09

I always take my rings off as I don't want little scratches on my diamonds. Don't even wear them in bed, even that can scratch them

pollymere · 04/01/2017 18:14

I have a ring that's worth more than my car. I wear it unless I go swimming as apparently the chlorine isn't good for the sapphires. I enjoy wearing it. It replaces the ring that got stolen when we were burgled as I always kept it for best. I was lucky they didn't get all my rings but I remember thinking why wasn't I wearing them. Jewellery is for wearing and diamonds are pretty tough things. I never take them off now.

derxa · 04/01/2017 18:17

I wear my mum's engagement ring at all times. It was second hand when she married around 60 years ago. I lost a big stone last year but insurance covered it.

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens · 04/01/2017 18:20

Normally wear my rings for everything except icing a cake or making crumble / pastry. I have had to replace diamonds in the eternity ring but it was the setting that was damaged - the jewellwr said that washing up wouldn't hurt. (Plus have you seen how they come up if you use Stardrops?!)

Sounds like your aunt is one of those who keeps things for best so you need to talk to her once the ring is fixed as otherwise it is going to sour both your relationship and enjoyment of the ring.

trollspoopglitter · 04/01/2017 18:23

It sounds like your aunt gave it to you in hopes it would become a family heirloom to pass on to your children - hence why she took such good care of it. What you chose to do while you wear the ring is irrelevant as long as you're not risking it being damaged. As you managed to already lose a stone, I would also jump to the conclusion you're being careless. I can see why she's angry and honestly? I'd give it back to her.

Postchildrenpregranny · 04/01/2017 18:32

I have an Edwardian engagement ring (second hand not an heirloom)and over the years (35)have lost two diamonds. They have to be replaced with stones of a similar cut (different from modern) and I had the 'claws'retipped at the same time -its 22carat white gold setting which I think is softer and the jewellers who repaired it said stone loss is almost inevitable in an old ring which is worn constantly-since I retired I dont wear it round the house for housework,gardening etc but always put it on to go out as when we were burgled many years ago I was, thankfully ,wearing it so didn't lose it . My wedding ring ,which was made for me to my design ,had to be 22carat too and the pattern gradually wore off .I had it made bigger and re-engraved about 5 years ago (it was quite expensive)and again don't wear it round the house so much any more
My(modern) 'maternity'ring has an amethyst which has had to be replaced as it cracked ,so again I wear it only to go out now. And I know my MIL lovely emerald ring which I have inherited also has one stone with a crack in it. Again it's Edwardian so to replace it will probably be expensive.
I'd continue to wear your ring if it gives you pleasure and just accept you might lose the odd stone, though the jewller who mends it can probably reinforce the settings and clean it properly at the same time .I would have thought your aunt would be pleased that you love it so much !

Postchildrenpregranny · 04/01/2017 18:35

Scratches on your diamonds flooey?Diamonds are harder than most things They use them for drilling and all sorts..

car5ys · 04/01/2017 18:37

I worked in a high class jewellers and have some nice rings that I wear daily. I only take off for gardening and making pastry etc as getting stuff clogged under the stones can lead to them coming loose. I do clean them regulaly but actually washing up and rinsing your hands can help to keep them clean. As for losing a stone I have lost 2 from 2 different rings on the same day sorting clothes for charity, just one of those things. Good idea to get them checked annually for damaged claws etc but my feeling is that if someone has gone to the trouble of mining the stone, grading it, cutting/polishing it, setting it then it should be worn and enjoyed. Too many beautiful pieces hidden in vaults never seeing daylight. If I was the queen I would wear the queen mothers crown around the house it's stunning :)

car5ys · 04/01/2017 18:43

Read the comment re diamonds being scratched by bedding, what are you on??? Diamonds are the 3rd hardestsubstance and the hardest gemstone!!!

Sara107 · 04/01/2017 18:48

I used to take my engagement ring off for doing jobs. One weekend I was gardening and didn't put it back on, house was burgled and ring stolen. I wear the replacement all the time now.

farfarawayfromhome · 04/01/2017 18:50

As soon as I walk through the door of the house I take off all jewellery, including my engagement, wedding and eternity rings. I don't like to wear rings all the time, the junk that gets under them and in them...eurgh.....

lanbro · 04/01/2017 18:51

I wear my rings all the time, did lose a diamond out of one of them but had it replaced. I also wear diamond earrings everyday. What is the point of having nice jewellery if it's not worn?!

lanbro · 04/01/2017 18:53

I thought you could only scratch diamond with diamond? Not cotton...Confused

SnugglySnerd · 04/01/2017 18:55

I wear two diamond rings plus a wedding band. I take them off to cook, wash up, shower, swim, bath DD, pretty much any activity where my hands get wet. I also take them off for bed. I get really bad eczema if the skin under them doesn't dry properly if wet and also if I don't give my skin a break from them. I am probably a bit unusual for removing them all the time.

SoDownSoGone · 04/01/2017 19:11

I take off at night and keep on during day. It's insured but you never get all the money if you lose it and the cost of diamonds and platinum has gone up a lot. In saying that I get it valued annually should anything happen I have the valuation at hand for the insurer and due to the value of them they are specified on the insurance schedule with other valuable items

ChocoChou · 04/01/2017 19:33

I have an engagement ring with a huge centre stone (not so humble brag) and I never take it off. If i took it off I would LOSE it! By the terms of my insurance it's only insured if it's on my person (or immediate family member) or in a safe and I'm certainly not putting it in a safe every time I want to wash up /swim/knead dough/make meatballs ha.

MrsMattBomer · 04/01/2017 19:33

I've never taken my engagement ring off mainly because it's stuck and when I marry DP in April (after 25 years) I'll keep that on too.

My engagement ring is a nice diamond one. It cost DP about 2 months wages, which was a lot for him in 1991. But yeah, what's the point in taking it off? You're more likely to lose it that way. Diamonds don't break easily and in my experience a 5 minute trip to the jeweler will make it sparkling in no time.

thewrinklefairy · 04/01/2017 20:07

My mother always advised me to wear everything that is special to me, after much of her treasured jewellery was stolen in a burglary.
I wear my grandmother's sapphire, which was her grandmother's before her. It is priceless to me (but of no monetary value) and an emerald cut diamond which is larger than average. I asked for the setting to be made especially not to catch on clothing / tights etc. It is too valuable to take off for anything - and it is harder than sand, soil or anything else I can throw at it. The jeweller told me that the best way to keep it sparkling was to wash with detergent regularly!
Get the clasps checked on settings regularly and wear them always......they should be admired not sitting on bedside tables or in boxes!
Also get diamonds valued every 2-3 years, as they are a great appreciating investment and insurance only pays out if the clasp has been checked regularly.

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