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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do the washing up in diamonds?

175 replies

38cody · 02/01/2017 23:43

Not just in Diamonds but...
When I lost my wedding ring my Great Aunt gifted me a beautiful 14 Diamond eternity style ring, she had it made in the 70's and it's very lovely and looks fab with my engagement ring. I've had it for about a year and wear it every day as a wedding band. It's way nicer than my original.
She's one of those people who give you something but don't quite let go. I took her on holiday and she was tutting because I swim with my rings on, complains to my mother (her sister) that I garden with them on and nearly collapsed when I played in the kids sandpit wearing 'her' diamonds.
Anyway, on boxing day I was doing lots of washing up - I usually dishwash everything but we already had a load in so I handwashed the rest. That evening she noticed that a stone was missing from the ring and she is really really cross and keeps bleating on about how she had it all those years and only wore it occasionally and how upset she is and how nobody ever washes up in a diamond ring and it was bound to happen!
I'll get the stone replaced but I'm not a 'keep for best' kind of person and like to enjoy wearing it daily.
So my question is really - Do you take off your rings (if they have a stone) every time you wash up, bath the kids, go swimming, play in the sand...etc etc and AIBU not to do so?

OP posts:
awesomeness · 03/01/2017 16:54

I take my engagement ring off coz it's worth a lot. I'd be devastated if I lost a stone out of it

SparkleShinyGlitter · 03/01/2017 16:59

My engagement and wedding ring as worth a fair bit but that doesn't stop me wea in them. I wash up/shower/bath/ swim all with my rings on. I'd done so for years and I've never ever lost a stone or ring

minipie · 03/01/2017 17:05

If you're going to replace the stone I can't really see her problem.

If you weren't going to I kind of could see her point - in that case you would be allowing a lovely thing to be spoiled (and you couldn't pass it down to your DC in one piece which I imagine she may have had in mind when giving it). But you're repairing it properly so what's the issue??

And as others have said, I'd be more likely to lose it if I took it off so YANBU.

Craigie · 03/01/2017 17:06

I NEVER take my rings off. Stones only fall out if they're not set properly, or if they ring is very old and the setting has worn away. Diamonds are as tough as old boots, and clean up perfectly with a bit of washing up liquid and an old, soft toothbrush.

RonaldMcDonald · 03/01/2017 17:06

My diamonds are worth a ton and when I wore them I wore them full time
Whatever is the point otherwise?

happynewyearchum · 03/01/2017 17:11

Awesome

But what constitutes 'a lot'? The whole point of engagement/wedding rings is to be worn? It's not like a posh necklace you wear occasionally in my opinion.

ArcheryAnnie · 03/01/2017 17:15

I thought that the whole point of a wedding ring (or in this case, a replacement wedding ring) is that you never take it off?

And I think if someone gives you something (I'm with those who wince at "gifted" for "gave") as a gift, then it's no longer theirs to dictate how it's used.

(I would get in checked out to make sure none of the other stones were about to drop out, though.)

dollydaydream114 · 03/01/2017 17:17

I think it's fine to keep a ring on for stuff like washing up. I think you're more likely to lose a ring if you keep having to take it off and put it on the side every time you wash up or do chores or whatever.

Better to wear something and enjoy it and accept the risk that it might get damaged than to tuck something away and never get any use out of it because you're scared it'll come to harm, IMO.

TeaPleaseLouise · 03/01/2017 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squizita · 03/01/2017 20:07

Never take mine off ... used to and lost one once (luckily not very expensive or sentimental but enough to be a bit ouch).

My mum didn't, my grans didn't.

If they are well made rings with hard gemstones (not pearl which does wear) they should survive dunking in hot water.
I would be concerned about the crafting of a ring where the stone fell out in hot water tbh.

squizita · 03/01/2017 20:08

Seconds exactly. Know several stones lost in day to day dry wear because people thought it was to do with certain activities and not upkeep/checking.

bluebellsparklypants · 03/01/2017 20:48

It must mean a lot to her and if she's (ahem) gifted it to you because of her arthritis, doesn't sound like she was ready to let go of it, but as she did gift it not loan it then it's up to you how you look after it as far as I can see.
My engagement ring has 17 stones costing a large sum used to wear it all the time housework,gardening etc however as lost most of the stones over the years and having to replace them we decided to get a new ring and keep other for best! I ware my late DM engagement ring which I'm much more carefully about

Trainspotting1984 · 03/01/2017 20:51

Safest place for your valuable jewlerry is on you! More chance of loss when it's off

Original poster
38cody · 04/01/2017 02:45

Gifted in British English is a noun, not a verb.
In USEnglish it may be used as a verb.
Are you American, or in the US?
I cannot judge you until I know...

PhilODox
I don't need your judgement thanks and I'm gifting you the middle finger

OP posts:
Original poster
38cody · 04/01/2017 02:47

RhiWrites: I'm sorry OP but I do think you're irresponsible. You've lost one ring, you've damaged another and you do things that sound bonkers.

What sounded bonkers? playing with my kids or washing up? weird.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/01/2017 13:41

I don't need your judgement thanks and I'm gifting you the middle finger

LOLGrin

YelloDraw · 04/01/2017 13:42

No point in having something lovely sitting in a box in a drawer. Wear your nice tings and be happy.

caringcarer · 04/01/2017 17:37

I have a gorgeous 1ct solitaire diamond engagement ring which I don't wear very often unless I go out in evenings or to wedding etc.. I don't wear wedding ring either, not because I am afraid of losing them but I just don't wear jewellery during the day time. I keep them in the safe along with black diamond necklace and a few other nice pieces. I have however given quite a few pieces of jewellery to my nieces and great nieces and they can wear them or not as they please. I just feel a bit guilty I have not given nephews and great nephews anything of similar value.

Panicmode1 · 04/01/2017 17:46

My engagement ring is over 100 years old and worth a fortune - but I still wear it every day, have four children so have washed my hands billions of times, washed up, cooked, played in sand etc - and I've never lost a stone. I also have an antique dress ring which my mother gave me and which I had to have reset after one of the stones felt loose - this was more due to the filigree work around a couple of the diamonds. My eternity and wedding rings stay on all the time too......

I think that your aunt is sad that you aren't treating the ring with the same reverence that she did, but I wouldn't have said that you are being unreasonable. Perhaps do as others have said - get the settings checked and then tell her that you've done so to reassure her.

Katherine2626 · 04/01/2017 17:50

I read that soapy water is good for diamonds - makes them sparkle.

As aunt has given you the ring it is yours - she can't expect to tell you when to wear it.

Bit puzzled though - how is she your 'great' aunt if she is your mother's sister - or did you mean 'Great' as in kind for giving you such a lovely ring?

SooBee61 · 04/01/2017 17:51

I only wear my engagement ring and MIL's ring when I go out. They're both quite valuable. I'd never wear them to wash up or shower or wash my hair.

Sadand · 04/01/2017 17:51

Wouldn't she be more upset if you took it off to wash the dishes and lost it. This really happened to a friend of mine. If was never found.

Deejoda · 04/01/2017 17:51

I never take mine off and they are worth a fair bit. I would worry about losing them

Giddyaunt18 · 04/01/2017 17:52

I would take it off in a sandpit and I take it off to apply body lotion, fake tan, hand cream but wear mine to wash up, swim, sleep etc

SooBee61 · 04/01/2017 17:52

Meant to say, it's worth having the settings checked about every 2 years to make sure the stones are in securely.

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