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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do the washing up in diamonds?

175 replies

38cody · 02/01/2017 23:43

Not just in Diamonds but...
When I lost my wedding ring my Great Aunt gifted me a beautiful 14 Diamond eternity style ring, she had it made in the 70's and it's very lovely and looks fab with my engagement ring. I've had it for about a year and wear it every day as a wedding band. It's way nicer than my original.
She's one of those people who give you something but don't quite let go. I took her on holiday and she was tutting because I swim with my rings on, complains to my mother (her sister) that I garden with them on and nearly collapsed when I played in the kids sandpit wearing 'her' diamonds.
Anyway, on boxing day I was doing lots of washing up - I usually dishwash everything but we already had a load in so I handwashed the rest. That evening she noticed that a stone was missing from the ring and she is really really cross and keeps bleating on about how she had it all those years and only wore it occasionally and how upset she is and how nobody ever washes up in a diamond ring and it was bound to happen!
I'll get the stone replaced but I'm not a 'keep for best' kind of person and like to enjoy wearing it daily.
So my question is really - Do you take off your rings (if they have a stone) every time you wash up, bath the kids, go swimming, play in the sand...etc etc and AIBU not to do so?

OP posts:

dowhatnow · 03/01/2017 09:30

Mine never come off my finger. Where does great aunt expect you to put it whilst playing in the sandpit etc?

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 03/01/2017 09:32

If it's that a good a ring the settings should hold the stones no matter what you do . If the ring comes with so much hassle I would just give it back.

averythinline · 03/01/2017 09:35

I would get it fixed and give it back to her.... it was either a gift or not... I too wear my rings all the time except washing my hair If I remember......may or may not take off when washing dishes (very rare hate washing up love my dishwasher )

CoraPirbright · 03/01/2017 09:57

Moreslackthanslick / Aftertheraincomesthesun. Emeralds are a different matter from diamonds entirely. They are really quite fragile and can scratch easily. I was warned not to wear mine doing chores, especially whilst washing up - a hit in the wrong place and the entire thing could shatter. Diamonds are so hard you can keep them on and do whatever (which is why I think the OP is being reasonable and her aunt should let go) but you cannot be cavalier with emeralds and expect them remain looking good.

RhiWrites · 03/01/2017 10:05

I'm sorry OP but I do think you're irresponsible. You've lost one ring, you've damaged another and you do things that sound bonkers.

I remember how miserable my friend was when he lost his wedding ring swimming in the sea. And to wear a stoned ring washing up is equally reckless.

If you don't take care of your things you will lose or break them and if I was your auntie I'd be cross with you too.

sohelpmegoad · 03/01/2017 10:18

I gave my GM's very expensive platinum and diamond engagement ring to my DD when she was 21, she wears it every day but can be a bit careless, so I would not be surprised if she loses it,
If this happens I will be sad but I am so pleased that it is being worn and loved and she is delighted with it, I would far rather she had it than it sat in my jewellery box being valuable.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/01/2017 10:24

the Aunt shouldn't have given the ring if she didn't want it worn. All this keeping things for best is a nonsense. What good is that?

Muppetslikecoco · 03/01/2017 10:36

I would also get the ring fixed and give it back. It was a kind gesture of her but I don't think she was really ready to let it go.

PhilODox · 03/01/2017 10:52

Gifted in British English is a noun, not a verb.
In USEnglish it may be used as a verb.
Are you American, or in the US?
I cannot judge you until I know...

Aftertheraincomesthesun · 03/01/2017 11:58

Thank you Cora. That's very helpful.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/01/2017 12:01

Gifted in British English is a noun, not a verb
In USEnglish it may be used as a verb.
Are you American, or in the US?
I cannot judge you until I know...

No, you won't know but I can judge you immediately from your pompous post.

MuseumOfCurry · 03/01/2017 12:07

I have a big diamond and I never, ever take it off except on beach holidays when it goes in the safe.

Gifted in British English is a noun, not a verb.

Adjective.

FatalKittehCharms · 03/01/2017 13:32

Anyone else think Diamonds was the name of a new washing up liquid?

PhilODox · 03/01/2017 14:40

Dame- I don't even think it's a noun tbh, I was just making a cheap shot!

PhilODox · 03/01/2017 14:41

Haha- thanks museum. That would be my crap English education!
Didn't know what a noun was until I got to university.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 03/01/2017 15:29

Dame

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 03/01/2017 16:06

My teenager wears her great grandmother's gold wedding ring. It was left to me by my mother and I wasn't wearing it so I gave it to my daughter. She wears it for riding, ballet, hockey, swimming, skiing... I don't ask her to take it off as she is more likely to lose it that way.
I am just pleased something pretty is being worn by someone in the family.
You are not being unreasonable to wear a ring for almost every activity.

Pheebs770 · 03/01/2017 16:17

Where are you getting it valued btw op? I inherited my grandmother's rings, the engagement ring was bought in 1938 for £12,000 I've had it 7 years but dare'nt take it anywhere

Oblomov16 · 03/01/2017 16:23

Wear my 3 rings all day every day, for all activities.

happynewyearchum · 03/01/2017 16:26

I do everything with my rings on apart from stuff with lots of strong cleaning chemicals. YANBU.

diddl · 03/01/2017 16:44

What was your wedding band like OP?

I have a plain gold band so wouldn't want to wear stones instead.

Was it definitely for you to keep, not just until you replaced your wedding band?

It was lovely of her but I think that I would give it back-she sounds too attached to it still!

Girlwhowearsglasses · 03/01/2017 16:46

Washing up gloves.

Also my fingers change size a lot with temperature so I never ever swim with my ring.

If it has lots of diamonds on it and was made 40 years ago it might not be a sturdy as your average engagement ring. If it's worth a lot I'd get it properly checked over and make sure all the settings are top notch. Also if I gave it to you I wouldn't like to see you lose a diamond from it, sorry

Girlwhowearsglasses · 03/01/2017 16:50

Sorry forgot to say I seem to remember people talking about their v valuable rings that to properly insure them they need checking annually anyway - and with diamonds its not then stone that will get damaged, but the metal setting might not be 100% and that's when you lose a diamond.

Girlwhowearsglasses · 03/01/2017 16:51

'Great Aunt' I had it properly checked and the jeweller said the settings are all fine now' sounds reassuring....

SecondsLeft · 03/01/2017 16:54

I lost a diamond out of my engagement ring that I wore daily when on holiday at Centerparcs :( then stopped wearing it daily and it got stolen in a burglary. I think its best to get the settings for the stones checked and renovated regularly.

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