AIBU to find the following reply about a Christmas present rude?

[Hellsbells35]

I sent a text to my brother asking if my nephew liked the Christmas present we gave him, and was shocked to receive the following:

"He wasn't impressed I'm afraid. Never really got into Lego as a kid, and now he is 16. Sorry."

I know I asked the question, but I really wasn't expecting that reply and find it quite hurtful as I had paid £40 on the gift. I wasn't really sure how to respond. Tempted to say let's not do presents anymore.

Basically they give you a list of presents they want and if you go off list and try and be thoughtful or imaginative you get it thrown back in your face.

Wow. What a horrible grabby turn this society has taken. Shove your lists unless I request one and good manners dictate that you are allowed to lie when the giver of a gift asks that question. It isn't better she hears the truth. There are other ways to ensure your precious dc doesn't receive a gift he doesn't like in future. So rude! Please just stop buying them gifts OP.

i think your reply should be, it was meant as an Adult Gift.

and lists, yes well, i can understand family lists, my ds used to do that, as does my dm.

it is aimed at adults?perhaps he will grow into it, when him and his family have grown up a bit.how rude of them.

It wasn't rude, it was honest and only said when specifically asked.

It is for age 7+ and he is 16.

dsis that should read

I've just Google pirate chess. What a daft gift for a 16 yr old. I wouldn't buy that for my 10 year old and he LOVES lego. It would take no time at all to build and would frankly be useless as a chess set. If you really want to buy lego for an older person who loves lego then the Architecture lego is great. That's what my 10 year old likes.

It's a bit odd to still be buying £40 gifts for a 16 year old nephew you clearly don't know at all. Surely you noticed at age 6, 7, 8 etc that he wasn't into Lego? Unless you have zero involvement in his life you would know and have known for years that he wasn't a Lego fan ("never really got into Lego as a kid") and it also sounds like you don't, or your brother suspects you don't even know his age, so stop buying the boy gifts or get to know him.

What sort of things were on his list that you thought pirate lego might be something he might like?

It's a really odd present for a 16 year old..!

If it's the set that comes up when you Google 'pirate chess lego', I'm not surprised he didn't like it. He possibly thinks that you've not noticed he's not 10 any more!
However your brother could have been more tactful (unless you do this every Xmas/birthday!).

It was badly phrased but the message was right. Just in case you decided to add to the set next year.

Some men may be into lego but it's probably the exception rather than the rule. Some men are into golf or war reenactment but I wouldn't get that kind of gift unless I knew for sure it was one of their interests.

If you bought my rugby playing DS golf gear I'd want to be able to tell you that a rugby themed gift would have been better without you taking offence!

Does he play chess? I tend to give money to my nieces and nephews even though they are close in age to my own DC. It's difficult to judge what a teenager will like unless you stick to the list.

The text was rude but I don't know any 16 year olds who would like a lego chess set.

Reverse, surely? Or GF. No-one's that unaware

i dont think you shouldnt buy for your nephew in future though op. that would be mean. he is sitll your nephew even if your brother is too honest for his own good er abrupt.
is your brother always like that?
ccan they take the present back and exchange it?

It was a pirate lego set. I bought same gift for a 45 year old who loves lego. And lots of men I know (although odd) still buy it. It's aimed at older audience

Sorry but I don't know anyone of 16 and I know a fair number that would have wanted that.

It isn't aimed at 'an older audience' at all.

I can see why you would be a bit hurt but ultimately you are upset because he was honest with you, which isn't really fair (as PP said if he lied you might carry on wasting your money on unsuitable gifts).
It's also a bit stroppy to say let's not do gifts , that would be fair enough if you had no idea what he liked / wanted and were genuinely put out but you had a list you could have used. It was your choice not to ans you got it wrong, that's not your nephews fault. It comes across a bit throwing your toys out of the pram.
Also if it's a gift you got lots of people it's not necessarily a 'thoughtful' gift, not everyone will like it (if someone bought me lego I'd struggle to look grateful). It's not one size fits all, just stick to the list!

i think your reply should be, it was meant as an Adult Gift.

Is this a new thing -lego porn?

Or a lego drinking game?

Lego for a 16 year old is a bit strange tbh O.o But yes they could have been a bit more tactful.

Rudely worded reply but that wasn't an appropriate gift for a 16 to. Yes some adults like Lego, but I don't know of any 16yo boys that would. And to be fair it wasn't exactly a thoughtful gift if you brought the same for someone else. Just don't do gifts with them anymore.

Lots of older people do like lego but I wouldn't get it for anyone not a child unless I knew they were into it! You say it was a chess set is he into chess?? I think your brother was being honest he is probably trying to avoid you wasting money on presents your nephew doesn't really enjoy. Teenagers are tricky I would stick to the list or if you really want to find something different maybe run it past his parents first so you can be sure it's something his into.

It was a rather blunt reply, but truthful, and probably designed to avoid the same thing happening next year.

I'm with the majority - it was a ridiculous present for a 16 year old. DS1 loved Lego, really loved it, but he's 11 now and long since outgrown it.

Of course there are adults who like Lego, but it's certainly not a given, in the same way that you can't assume all adults would like a Star Trek annual, although some would.

If you don't see someone regulatory and you don't know exactly what they'd like, stick to the list in future!

The lego bit made me smile.

Yes fine if he is into it but he is clearly not.

I am a teacher and may ask my y 11 tomorrow if any of them get lego for Christmas? He should be too busy revising for his mocks to be completing lego 😬. Ok
He is allowed some relaxing time.

I am in two minds if it was rude or not. My Auntie bought my 9 year old a toy aimed at age 2. I still said thank you for the gift. However, your brother didn't text you randomly; you asked so maybe he then felt ok to actually be honest.

You sound like a relatively of mine who gave me a doll when I was about 15. I'm sure there are 15 year olds who play with dolls but it was still a markedly odd gift. If you spent £40 on Lego I imagine your DB felt it was time to take the bull by the horns and tell you not to waste your money. The text was a bit abrupt but I can understand his exasperation.

In my family we swap present suggestions so that presents are wanted and suitable. It seems you had been offered suggestions but decided to go off piste. Fair enough, but Lego? For a 16 year old?

If there is a list, what on earth possesed you to ignore it and pick something yourself? My dh does this every year and it drives me mad! Why didn't you just buy something off the list and then you would know you were not going to waste your money?

Regularly not regulatory

No response from OP funnily enough.