Apparently I'm not married if I don't take his name...

[Lumberries]

Says my future MIL.

WTF.

I'm not sure where to go, I love my name!

I'm the breadwinner, always will be. I'm fine with that. I think the tradition of taking the male name is ridiculous and outdated. I'm not sure I want to take his name because I'm not sure I like the connotation of ownership etc and actually, I don't feel I 'belong' to anyone, so why should I change my name??

Apparently, I'm not married if I don't take his name and equally, if I'm a Ms and not a Mrs it means I'm planning to divorce...

I'm at a family gathering for DP and we're getting married next year. The talk all day has been about the wedding but when they mentioned that I would be Mrs X I said actually I was considering staying as mrs MyName. All hell broke lose and apparently AIBU. Am I? Is keepsing my own name a sign that I'm not actually willing to be married? Does it show I don't want to commit to him?

For context, I love DP to bits, no issues at all with our relationship at all.

AIBU?

Just to add, that on my wedding, my own mother advised that I wasn't going to be 'properly married' as we weren't having a honeymoon - we just couldn't afford one

I asked her if she was offering to pay for one! No, of corse she wasn't, she was just offering a negative judgement for free

So in a way I feel like they just abdicated the decision to make a decision.

An alternative way of seeing the same thing: they're letting you make the decision for yourself as an adult.

Pint of lager - so thoughtful of your mother!! Wonder where she was coming from, what an extraordinary thing to say!

I have a double barrelled surname (from my parents) and love it. I flit between the two, or use both, depending on my mood. My parents don't care how I use it, or if I lose it. I definitely agree that it has given me more options, and don't plan on ever changing it.