How do I cope with 4 children? Overwhelmed - how did you do it?

[Hohowoah]

They are aged 2, 4, 6 and 8.

While the youngest was a baby (0-18 mths) it was fine. All seemed manageable. Now the youngest is also talking, has a strong opinion, only wants the toys/food the 4 year old has (!!) it's become so much more difficult.

I know it's just one phase but I am getting to the point now where I just need things to work smoothly some days.

For the first time in a long time I am not pregnant, or breastfeeding/doing night feeds, and I really wish things would fall into place but it's just getting more and more difficult.

My Y4 (eldest) has huge expectations from school (amount of homework and sports matches they are expected to do), they all do extra curricular sports/music, and I don't know when to fit in the simplest of things like dentist appointments and haircuts because I find it near on impossible to take all 4 of them anywhere (other than walking to and from school).

I spend most of my time in a state of guilt - had we had fewer children they wouldn't miss out on so much of my one-to-one attention, and I'd be able to focus more with them on homework.

DH is great but works incredibly long house (out of the house by 6 and back gone bedtime).

Even walking down the road to the shops I feel there are too many of us and we take up too much space on the pavements/people can't pass us in shop aisles. Silly as that sounds, it's how I am feeling at the moment.

How did you manage to give each child everything they needed if you have 3-4 kids close in age?

@Kattycool you have resurrected a. Thread from 2017.

I'd run away.

On Wednesday when schools starts back I am going to be very exhausted taking the younger ones to Nursery 8am-1pm, then dropping my 7 who is going into Primary 3 and 5 year old who is starting Primary 1, but happy I get to be there for her first day of school (9am-3pm/3:15pm). Plus I need to take my 7 year old to Gymnastics 4pm-5pm.

@Toomuchspinning What do you mean?

I have just seen the post says 2017, I think that is why I was confused, sorry to have confused other people.

I have 4 but I’m on my own with them, father not involved at all, I’m not coping tbh 😳 aged 10 and under

@PumpkinKlNG Hope your okay, how old are your children? It gets easier, I am slowly getting through looking after my 7,5,1 and 1 month old baby.

I have four DC but two aged 14 and 11, two aged almost 6 and 4yo. Two sets of children if you like!

Yes it's had its challenges. My two older ones help out a lot which is lucky, but not always as they have activities and such.

Youngest has just been toilet trained and it's getting easier.

I do my food shopping once they are all dropped off at school and nursery in the morning. Dentist appointment after school.

That is handing that your older two children help you out. It was hard trying to potty train my 5 year old when she was 3 years old, she kept having accidents, after 4 weeks she stopped having accidents and was learning she would ask for help, and now she is potty training completely. Hoping once my 1 year old gets to that age to start potty training it might be easier.

@FreeBritnee

This thread is 5 years old!!

I'm sure that there are plenty of mums of larger families that will have found thr thread helpful. After all I'm sure plenty of mums are struggling with thr same problems 5 years on

Well perhaps you’re right but I think at this stage there’s no need to offer OP advice on her five years old problem.

I think my computer is slow at updating, so all the old messages keeps coming through, and I did not see the dates on some of them that keeps coming up.

I only have 3 but am a single parent (4years between the 3).
Things that helped when they were young :
A nappy bag packed at all times (so if it gets too much in the house we could walk to the park),
Strict routine,
Home hairdresser,
Booked appointments eg dentist, routine appointments in school holidays,
Weekly online supermarket delivery (meal planned so never needed to just pop to the shops), included all nappies /toiletries /cleaning products,
They don't need lots of extra curricula activities, mine did swimming (non negotiable plus one other activity), now they are older they do one activity after school (in school) plus guides/scouts - this was their choice but two activities seems doable.
Only ever had a small variety of toys out and regularly swapped them around so they didn't get bored, had an area where eldest could play without little ones getting them,
Always had a craft box available for when they needed to calm down.

I have a morning, afternoon and evening routine for all my 4 children. What is the best advice for my 5 year old starting in Primary 1 on Wednesday, I have brought some new school things which she loved buying the things, but she is very scared starting at school?

Kattycool I’m just about surviving at the moment thanks for asking, mine are 10 9 7 and 4, I don’t find it getting easier as they get older (as most say it will) as my oldest has asd so is only getting harder as time goes on.

Massive reduction in standards. That’s how you cope. And occasional irresponsible pleasures.

It will get easier, lower your expectations and also cancel some clubs! They don’t need to do everything and let them all watch a film together while you sit and do an online food shop and have a cup of tea, mine have missed out on loads and I have been rubbish at keeping up with homework etc but they are so loved and know that. Give yourself a break, I bet they’re all happy and 4 is fab as now mine play so nicely together (6,6,9,11) and don’t worry about taking up space, being a large force out and about, most people really do look fondly on a gaggle of kids and we get so many smiles and nice comments about how lucky we are - I felt exactly the same!! Now I don’t care as much as they are so much a part of who we are as a family xx

Honestly, what did you expect?!!!!!!

@PumpkinKlNG I understand everyone always tells me it will get easier once they are much older. My 7 year old has skin problems, my 5 year old has Mutism, and ASD, my 1 year old has speech problems, and my 1 month old baby has eating problems. My 5 year old has been going to Speech Therapy, social skills training, and a special playgroup to help with her ASD and Mutism. I found it hard, when my 5 year used to come home from nursery crying because the other children would leave her out, my heart broke every time. I understand what it's like having a child with ASD, and I have ASD myself, but I went to all these therapy's and they all helped.

I also had four in five years. When they were young it was draining. Both of us worked full time, and they all did after school clubs, music, homework, etc. It got better when the youngest reached 6 years old. Until then, lower expectations help.

Zombie

@SleepingStandingUp

Zombie apocalypse

Relevant to those of us with four DC though🤷

Absolutely Harris, but also useful to not bother addressing the OP woth solutions.

@Franklyfrost

Massive reduction in standards. That’s how you cope. And occasional irresponsible pleasures.

You're not wrong 😂 finally getting my floors properly cleaned later this week after seven weeks of school holidays 🙊🙈