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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking ex-wife and PIL

481 replies

FedUpBird · 31/12/2016 08:03

So DH and his EW (ex-wife) split 10 years ago and his family still host her at Christmas and new year.

My SIL has made it very clear she hates me and keeps a photo of DH and EW so I don't go to her house as I feel I'm made un-welcome. They have 2 kids and while I understand they see the kids which is fine but why the hell do they host her!

DH is fucked off with it and has had it out with his sister and has also blocked her on social media as they have photos on there playing happy bloody families.

We've been together about 7 years and married 2, the kids and I get on and they love coming to ours and are made very welcome.

AIBU to feel annoyed that they still treat the EW like they should treat me...gah

OP posts:
eyebrowsonfleek · 01/01/2017 17:31

Agree Racoon.
I haven't seen anyone use stronger language than "fucking ex-wife and PIL" as the OP did in her title.

I understand that OP wants to get along with SIL and PIL. But refusing to understand why they may be angry means that things can't change.

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 17:31

I think it's more posters can now see much more of the actual situation than the OP originally posted.

The OP posted in AIBU she must have known what to expect, hey that's life it can be unfair sometimes....to quote the OP.

needsahalo · 01/01/2017 17:32

Who has said they shouldn't see the children or be able to spend Xmas with their family? I haven't read that once in 18 pages.

NewNNfor2017 · 01/01/2017 18:20

I think it's more posters can now see much more of the actual situation than the OP originally posted.

I agree - I was in the minority to support the OP's position initially, as I could relate to the description she originally gave.

It was only after she dripfed the key details of the circumstances - eg they live abroad and her DH refuses to enforce the Court Order, that I changed my opinion.

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 18:28

OP, as always happens on here with steps and second wives, the coven have come out in force to use you as a punching bag.

I wouldn't pay any attention to the army of ex-wives who can't accept that they're not part of a particular family anymore.

Rather, take the advice of the reasoned posters, even if they don't agree with your stance.

Generally speaking the more vicious they are, the more bitter and deranged they are. I'd walk away now.

Scooby20 · 01/01/2017 18:38

I am not an ex wife. One marriage (military).

Why would you assume everyone who disagrees with the op is an ex wife? Or that that renders their opinion invalid?

1horatio · 01/01/2017 18:56

walter

I'm not an ex wife?

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 18:59

I didn't say you were?

spanieleyes · 01/01/2017 18:59

I am!

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 19:01

Wow that's some assumption there Walter what a wonderful contribution to the thread Confused

Or that it renders their opinion invalid

I think Walter believes ex wives are subhuman and not worth listening to as well their menz didn't want them did they so they can't have anything worth while to say. Or would that be me make a wild assumption based on nothing at all Walter?

1horatio · 01/01/2017 19:01

walter

Not me specifically, no.

I just meant that I disagree with the OP and yet I'm not an ex wife.

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 19:09

Horatio, I also advised OP to take heed of the rational posters, even if they disagree with her.

It's not up to me which type posters on this thread relate to...

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 19:10

Racoon, since you have been particularly vicious and bordering on hysterical on this thread, berating the OP for the actions of her 'man', then I would say wild assumptions are one of your talents, so feel free to carry on. :)

1horatio · 01/01/2017 19:11

walter

Hm, I wonder. I think I clearly said what I thought. Which could be perceived as being vicious.
But I don't think I was particularly irrational...

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 19:12

Yes you should like one of those rational posters Walter coming on to a thread and slagging off a group of people as if being an ex wife means you are not allowed an opinion and then calling them bitter and deranged Hmm

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 19:13

I said some posters were bitter and deranged, dear.

Wipe the spittle and try to read properly.

As I said, if you recognise yourself in what I wrote, that's your look out...

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 19:13

Oh and hysterical what a lovely mysoginistic insult Walter.

So we have bitter , vicious , deranged and hysterical now......yep you are definitely sounding like a rational poster.

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 19:15

Do you not find it a little ironic that you come on to the thread only to insult posters and then in turn behave in a bitter, vicious and deranged way yourself.

Pot kettle black dear Walter.

Lateralthinker2016 · 01/01/2017 19:20

My partners brother and his gf are very chummy with my oh's ex wife, daughter and her new partner.His brother not so long back walked past me and my partners baby in the street and ignored us... He can walk past me for all I care (I don't need his approval lol) but I thought it a bit cold and spiteful as the baby is his niece. So you are not alone in having spiteful in- laws..... If that's any (small) consolation?! Flowers

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 19:22

I came onto the thread to advise the OP who was lynched by you and other posters, to step away.

I felt sorry for her being used as some sort of surrogate for whoever you're clearly very angry at.

Not that I owe you an explanation.

And I can't see where I've been deranged, personally. I'm not totally over-invested in the life of some random person on the Internet. But you are, of course, entitled to your opinion.

RacoonBandit · 01/01/2017 19:32

I am not angry at anyone nor do I have an axe to grind.

My involvement in the thread is the same as any other posters. Not that I owe you an explanation.

Now I am sure there must be other threads you can dive on to and rescue people from Hmm Don't catch your cape in the door on the way out Walter

Waltermittythesequel · 01/01/2017 19:38

Calm down and re-read it later.

I'm going to swoop off now. You enjoy picking over the carcass.

Original poster
FedUpBird · 01/01/2017 19:41

I'm going to hide this thread now having had a ass handed to me...I'm clearly BVVVVU and need to book my ticket to hell.

Some of the views on here are quite deluded imo and I sometimes wonder if MNetters exist in a parallel world

OP posts:
TheWoodlander · 01/01/2017 19:47

Don't worry about OP - to an extent I agree with Walter. I think MN is hugely supportive to women who are splitting from their husbands - and there are a lot of ex-Ws around.

This is a good thing - someone speaks up for the first wives, the dc of the first marriage (and I am an example of 'children of the first marriage who often get a raw deal" - so i know) - and that is a good thing.

It's good to get a "first wife's" view in cases like this - you can gain some perspective. I don't agree with the pile-on that's happened here though - the picking apart of every aspect of your life. Not helpful.

TheWoodlander · 01/01/2017 19:55

*Don't worry about it, OP.

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