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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends for dinner - AIBU?

116 replies

Toast3 · 30/12/2016 14:08

We had 3 couples over for dinner last night. All local people who were pretty friendly with and see regularly. We all seem to be doing different things on NYE so decided to get together for dinner last night. I said we'd host as we have the space etc... (large conservatory that doubles as a great dining space).

We all agreed to chip in and do a course each. I did the main course, one couple said they'd do the starters, another offered pud and the other ones offered cheese. We've done this, 'shared style' before and it usually works well..

The first couple arrived with the starters, all plated up and ready to serve.
Next couple arrived with a huge cheese board, grapes etc and a bottle of port to go with it.
Third coupe arrive with all the ingredients to make 2 desserts (trifle and a cheesecake.) They wanted to make it in my kitchen which was all nice n clean and ready for guests, candles lit, nibbles out etc etc..

I was really pissed off as it was very last minute and they bloody trashed the place. Cream & dishes all over the place. Did I have a blender etc etc...

I didn't say anything at the time but we were all a bit shocked but I didn't want to ruin the night so let it go.

They've hosted these types of nights before and it's not the normal to prep in the hosts home.. so it's not like they misunderstood...

I asked if they'd had a busy day and the wife of the couple says, no not really we've just been chilling out and watching tele with the kids...

Just thought it was cheeky - AIBU of am I just being a grumpy cow after an absolutely knackering Christmas.. not much chilling in front of the tele been going on here lol !

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2016 14:12

It sounds like the sort of dessert that wouldn't have travelled terribly well - even a short distance - so assembling it in your kitchen wasn't the worst idea - but it does sound as if the way they did it was a bit disorganised and thoughtless.

It wouldn't have been hard to bring it all in containers - including the whipped cream - so it could all be put into dishes - and then the containers could have been closed up and put back into bags - so creating minimal mess in your kitchen.

So (picks fence splinters out of behind), YANBU to be cross they made a mess of your kitchen, but YAB a bit U to think it was cheeky.

That probably doesn't help much - sorry. Wine

blueskyinmarch · 30/12/2016 14:13

That does seem strange. Surely both cheesecake and trifle need time to set? Were the puddings actually ready?

blueskyinmarch · 30/12/2016 14:14

SDGT My Christmas guests brought a trifle and cheesecake and both travelled very well. The only thing they needed to do at the last minute was whip the cream for the trifle.

KERALA1 · 30/12/2016 14:15

Yanbu this would piss me off. I would rather bought puddings than trashing my kitchen.

Original poster
Toast3 · 30/12/2016 14:17

I think they figured that they'd set in the fridge whilst we were having starters and main....
If I'd have been on desserts (as I have been before) I'd have made them during the day and taken them over...they only live one road away so could have popped them over at any point and bunged in the fridge..
Not really the end of the world but it peed me off nevertheless

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/12/2016 14:17

They should have made it earlier, clearly they were just being lazy.

newmumwithquestions · 30/12/2016 14:17

YANBU. It's a bit odd and the host has enough clearing up without guests adding to it.

rookiemere · 30/12/2016 14:18

It's annoying when people do that. At first I was going to say that you are a bit OTT to be shocked and pissed off but then I remember how annoyed I get when friends arrived with unprepared strawberries, so I'll let you off.

trinity0097 · 30/12/2016 14:18

I've taken trifle to a friends house before, no problems, and cheesecake would travel well!

Weird!

BumWad · 30/12/2016 14:18

That would have annoyed me too

Original poster
Toast3 · 30/12/2016 14:20

We also all had to wait for them to finish making them before we could sit down for starters, and then for me to sort the main, I had to clear up their bloody mess out of the way,,.

OP posts:
SheldonsSpot · 30/12/2016 14:20

It's damn rude and if they couldn't be arsed messing up their own kitchen then they should have brought shop bought ready made desserts.

YANBU.

Passmethecrisps · 30/12/2016 14:21

Maybe they envisaged some sort of charming theatre cooking style with tv chef type little bowls of pre-measured ingredients. So they whipped it up in minutes while you all stood around sipping wine enjoying their skill.

I've painted them a bit meanly there but in a more kind way they probably didn't imagine the mess it would make.

I would be annoyed though so therefore YANBU

Blacksox · 30/12/2016 14:21

A guest here did the same. I asked her to bring a pudding. She cheerfully turned up with the ingredients only and declared it 'deconstructed' Hmm

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 30/12/2016 14:22

Yep pretty annoying but probably just something to be annoyed for a day about then forget. It's easy to be disorganised over the Xmas break

Original poster
Toast3 · 30/12/2016 14:24

Passmethecrisps - that made me laugh....maybe they did, the reality was very different though! It took ages, the drink was flowing, we were all chatting, the mess was happening - the only thing that didn't happen was the clearing up. There was stuff everywhere!
As someone else said, a shop bought one would have been fine...(this has also been done before).... no problem!

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 30/12/2016 14:26

Bit odd but certainly couldn't summon the energy to be annoyed by it.

KathArtic · 30/12/2016 14:30

We do this with family for christmas. When it was our turn to pudding I put the custard in one of my pans ready to put straight on the hob when we got there. Easy to transport and saved any faffing, and we took home leftovers Smile

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2016 14:30

I would have smiled and said, 'Oh no we don't have time for you to make your dessert before we sit down to eat'.

Then it would be up to them whether they wanted to dash out to the nearest shop or not.

ppeatfruit · 30/12/2016 14:39

YADNBU . I would be annoyed too. It's like turrning up with a raw steak and saying 'oh hang on we'll just shove this on the stove'.

The whole idea of bringing your own dish is just that !!!!

TheMrsD · 30/12/2016 14:41

People are a pain in the arse. You should never invite them again, in fact unfriend them Facebook style. Now I'm wound up..pair of bastards.

TheMrsD · 30/12/2016 14:43

Go visit where they are and give them a big hug with lots of head snuggling.

Floggingmolly · 30/12/2016 14:44

Bloody rude. How could they not have realised the mess it would make, unless they've never prepared anything in their own kitchen before (unlikely)??

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 30/12/2016 14:46

How rude & annoying. But after dinner I'd have said 'Oi, you two, back in the kitchen, looks like a bombs gone off in there!!' Whist pouring wine for everyone else! 😬

Next time it comes up, say 'We're not hosting again, it took all day to clean up the mess these two made last time, must be their turn!'

TheMrsD · 30/12/2016 14:52

Eh? Sorry, wrong thread!