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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friends for dinner - AIBU?

116 replies

Toast3 · 30/12/2016 14:08

We had 3 couples over for dinner last night. All local people who were pretty friendly with and see regularly. We all seem to be doing different things on NYE so decided to get together for dinner last night. I said we'd host as we have the space etc... (large conservatory that doubles as a great dining space).

We all agreed to chip in and do a course each. I did the main course, one couple said they'd do the starters, another offered pud and the other ones offered cheese. We've done this, 'shared style' before and it usually works well..

The first couple arrived with the starters, all plated up and ready to serve.
Next couple arrived with a huge cheese board, grapes etc and a bottle of port to go with it.
Third coupe arrive with all the ingredients to make 2 desserts (trifle and a cheesecake.) They wanted to make it in my kitchen which was all nice n clean and ready for guests, candles lit, nibbles out etc etc..

I was really pissed off as it was very last minute and they bloody trashed the place. Cream & dishes all over the place. Did I have a blender etc etc...

I didn't say anything at the time but we were all a bit shocked but I didn't want to ruin the night so let it go.

They've hosted these types of nights before and it's not the normal to prep in the hosts home.. so it's not like they misunderstood...

I asked if they'd had a busy day and the wife of the couple says, no not really we've just been chilling out and watching tele with the kids...

Just thought it was cheeky - AIBU of am I just being a grumpy cow after an absolutely knackering Christmas.. not much chilling in front of the tele been going on here lol !

OP posts:

MagicChicken · 30/12/2016 23:05

I agree it's very odd and rather irritating. If the argument was that a trifle wouldn't travel well then don't do a trifle!

MagicChicken · 30/12/2016 23:07

Proper traditional trifle recipes don't have jelly in them. I read somewhere (probably Mumsnet come to think of it) that only common people put jelly in it. I put jelly in mine.

Orangetoffee · 30/12/2016 23:10

Can't see the problem myself, a nice evening with friends with a bit of mess in the kitchen. Easily solved with a quick clean and tidying up by all involved.

Sugarlightly · 30/12/2016 23:11

My guests said they were bringing homemade cheesecake and turned up with a Tesco strawberry tart 🤢 To add insult to injury it was still frozen when we ate it 2 hrs later!!!

DontEatTheSweets · 30/12/2016 23:12

Just noticed that it was trifle - bloody outrageous. Who likes that stuff?

😂 Lol, we go out for dinner a lot and I'm constantly being asked to bring 'my' trifle. It's really popular! It's nothing fancy just sponge, naice homemade custard, cream and fresh fruit.

Nineloves1 · 30/12/2016 23:17

I would be pissed off with that, but would have found it difficult to say anything at the time.

I chose puddings I am taking to a party that won't need assembling if they do, as others have said, it would be minimal food combination and no extra work for the host, not preparing the bloody dish at the house at the start of the party.

MagicChicken · 30/12/2016 23:17

Wow what an upper class "first world problem" if ever I read one.
Mega snobby

Mega snobby? Upper class? PMSL! What, for daring to have friends over for dinner and being in possession of a conservatory and some candles?

Wow, it's not hard to bring out the inferiority complex in some people, is it?

amammabear · 30/12/2016 23:21

I love trifle...

Nineloves1 · 30/12/2016 23:21

Agree trifle is the work of the devil. I make the stuff, as every other Bugger seems to love it, but it is a combination of revolting ingredients made even more revolting when served as one.

OP, if you host again give them cheese, or after dinner chocolates, but NOT chocolate truffles, before they turn up with a block of chocolate and some cream

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 30/12/2016 23:35

I have never heard of trifle without jelly in it, you learn something new every day! Shop bought ones always have jelly.

ZaZathecat · 30/12/2016 23:44

Could I just ask : were the offending couple wearing their pyjamas?

Nineloves1 · 30/12/2016 23:46

With a tray of pop bears

Nineloves1 · 30/12/2016 23:46

Gah, bollox, pom bears

Coastalcommand · 31/12/2016 00:09

YABU - how long does it take to clear up a few dishes. Live a little and stop moaning.

neighbourhoodwitch · 31/12/2016 09:19

100pc with you. rude and inconsiderate.

Bobochic · 31/12/2016 10:19

Very odd. I am going to a NYE party tonight and the hostess asked me to bring a chocolate cake that she tasted at my party last week. I made it this morning and will take it over ready made this evening.

PingPongBat · 31/12/2016 10:36

YADNBU.

We made a trifle for a family thing on Boxing Day, drove and hour and a half to DB's place with it safely ensconced in a cake carrying box, with a small box of strawberries to slice and put on top when we got there. So all we used was a knife and a small chopping board which we washed up and put away in under 5 mins. I'm finding hard to see how they would think it was acceptable to start making two puddings from scratch, in the middle of what was supposed to be a relaxed and enjoyable evening for everyone. I hope they look back on it with embarrassment!

Jaxhog · 31/12/2016 11:44

Bit of a cheek really. They should at least have cleaned up after themselves.

Original poster

Toast3 · 31/12/2016 12:31

Thanks for all the responses - I've just read them all...
I'm definitely not powsh!
I only mentioned the 'large conservatory' to set the scene...we have quite a small kitchen /diner and wouldn't have had room to feed everyone in there...
The trifle didn't have jelly in and was actually really nice! The cheesecake looked good but was a bit sloppy (think it needed longer to set)..
It was funny as they brought some baileys round to put in it and popped back yesterday to pick up the remains of it....my DH opened the door and said ' oh you're here for the Baileys, I thought you'd come to clear up the mess' lol we all had a laugh about it (and some more fizz) so all was fine....
I hate mess, I'm not good at it...I'll try and lighten up a bit. It didn't ruin my night (or anyone else's) it just got me twitching to clear up....
Happy new year everyone :-)

OP posts:

miserablesod · 31/12/2016 12:32

Probably not something i would do but i couldn't manage the energy to be shocked or angry about it.

NothingIsOK · 31/12/2016 12:45

Jelly in trifle?
Never!

ppeatfruit · 31/12/2016 13:36

It does seem bad mannered though, if it were me I'd ring, not txt, because they often don't arrive in time, my friend first just to apologise- say we hadn't had the time to make something before, and I would bleddy well clear up after myself.

Daydream007 · 31/12/2016 18:27

YANBU. I'd be annoyed too! They could have at least checked with you before coming, I HATE people doing anything in my kitchen!

WipsGlitter · 31/12/2016 18:38

They came to get their bottle of Baileys back. Classy.

SooBee61 · 31/12/2016 20:43

YANBU. I'd have been furious. Mind you, nice to have enough local friends to have a dinner party with. Do you know them well enough to make a joke of it?

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