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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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Original poster
Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 15:20

They def hadn't forgotten as she'd texted me an hour before to say they were looking forward to seeing us- it was a bloody drinks do for Xmas with nibbles - but in sleep wear Confused

OP posts:
eddiemairswife · 28/12/2016 15:23

Were you the only people there or had others been invited? If so, What did they wear?

anothermalteserplease · 28/12/2016 15:24

Were you all meant to wear pjs and she just forgot to add that part to your text?

Original poster
Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 15:25

One other family there- who were in clothes - they looked awkward too

OP posts:
mollie123 · 28/12/2016 15:25

I am with you OP - it seems slovenly and thoughtless if they knew you were coming for 'drinks' so YANBU
It seems standards of manners are dropping in this country - and although it may be generational - the only time I would still be in my pyjamas would be before 8 am when I have a bath and wear 'clothes' to meet the day and walk the dog.

TrustySnail · 28/12/2016 15:26

I wonder if it was done in the name of 'hygge'?

PickledCauliflower · 28/12/2016 15:26

If I have invited someone to my home I make a bit of an effort. I tidy around, offer something nice to eat and drink and get dressed!
I would only expect babies and people who are ill to be in nightclothes during the day really.

diddl · 28/12/2016 15:26

Seems odd to me.

If you are up & showered, is it really any harder to put on clothes rather than Pjs, especially if you have invited people?

I'm surprised so many people think that it's fine.

Honeybee79 · 28/12/2016 15:27

For me, depends on the guest and the occasion for the visit!

It's their house so their call!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 28/12/2016 15:27

Yuk. I had a work colleague who everyday would come to work in the t-shirt he slept in (he told us) and just put on jeans. He always had that 'bed' smell. Bleugh.

I agree it's lazy, but I live in an area where it's totally 'normal' to walk about, go grocery shopping etc in slippers, pjs and full make-up/hair done Confused

1horatio · 28/12/2016 15:27

Pyjamas and a dressing gown are imo perfectly adequate. Or just pyjamas, it depends on what people sleep in, I guess.

I've also opened the door wearing a sports bra and shorts and I didn't think that was weird. It's our house.

1horatio · 28/12/2016 15:28

But it depends on the time of the day.

So, I have to go back up and read the OP more carefully...

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 28/12/2016 15:29

This thread makes me feel really old-fashioned.

PJs are for bed; for when you are unwell or dealing with a new baby. Otherwise - just no. PJs are not for when you have company.

Clothes maketh the (wo)man.

Hulababy · 28/12/2016 15:29

I love my PJs and like to laze around in them (I don't sleep in them btw) on a cold dark day, into the late minting and sometimes mid afternoon onwards if having a proper lazy day.

However I would ALWAYS get dressed into day wear if we were having guests, regardless of who they are, or going out anywhere. If they are staying over I will change into PJs later in the evening sometimes, as will they often. Even teen Dd would be fully dressed too.

I'd very surprised to find someone in PJs when I went to visit them for a pre-arranged visit.

Btw - what's with the 'have they aired the house?' Why do I need to sit my house and how? And why would having PJs prevent that.

1horatio · 28/12/2016 15:30

Ooops, it was 4pm... idk,

It depends on the kind of visit, tbh.

As for the showering... I always shower in the evening. So, idk.😅

HoneyBeeMum1 · 28/12/2016 15:30

I am astonished that anyone would think such squalid behaviour is socially acceptable.

Of course we are free to do as we please in our own homes and if you are comfortable being lazy and slovenly that is your prerogative.

However, if you have invited people round for drinks, you should - as a minimum - wash and dress before your guests arrive. I am pleased to say I have never had such an experience. I am sure if I did, I would leave straight away. I would certainly suspect that my hosts, their children and their home might be rather smelly. Yuck!

I would never permit my children to wear bed clothes anywhere but in bed. My husband and I set the example of washing and dressing as soon as we rise in the morning and certainly before breakfast. To do otherwise would represent an unacceptable lapse of hygiene and standards.

The only exception might be if the girls stay up in their (clean) night gowns for a story-telling before bedtime.

1horatio · 28/12/2016 15:32

honey

Not even when you invite your family for brunch, for example?

Lilaclily · 28/12/2016 15:33

No Horatio, you invite people over you get dressed, unless it's a kids sleepover !

MuppetsChristmasCarol · 28/12/2016 15:34

I think it's weird and it'd make me uncomfortable.

Oldraver · 28/12/2016 15:34

4pm does seem an odd hour to be wearing PJ's.

So I've got half an hour to un-odd myself Grin

I dont wear anything in bed so pyjamas to me are just a more relaxed clothing. Maybe they are the same...I shower then get dressed in clean pj's.

My OH puts on the clothes he wore the night before when he gets out of bed...which I find odd. Though if you came to our house right now many would sniff at me being in my pj's...but I'm the one that's showered (so far, OH will go off and shower soon)

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2016 15:35

Well I have no issues with folks wearing their pjs all day if lounging at home, and I wouldn't leave, but I am also surprised at the amount of people who think it's ok to invite folks round late afternoon for drinks and nibbles and then host in their pyjamas. It's weird in my view. Takes two mins to shove a pair of jeans and a jumper on.🙄

LadyOfTheCanyon · 28/12/2016 15:37

It's grim. I wouldn't invite people to my house for drinks and nibbles and if they turned up in their pjs think

ClashCityRocker · 28/12/2016 15:37

Don't get me wrong, I can happily spend the day in pjs (I sleep in the nude) and am in my dressing gown as we speak.

But I think it's different if you have guests, particulalry ones you don't know too well. It would make me feel that I was intruding on their pj day and that they only had us there begrudgingly.

Totally different if DHs best mate of twenty years calls in for a brew - he can take me as he finds me, gaping dressing gown and all Grin

LadyOfTheCanyon · 28/12/2016 15:38

.. bloody hell
Posted too soon.

Think oh how casual! I'd expect the bare minimum of politesse from my hosts even if that was jeans/jumper/bare feet.

Squills · 28/12/2016 15:39

YANBU

I've never experienced anything like it. None of our family or friends would invite guests and not bother getting dressed. I'm pretty sure I'd be very uncomfortable sitting in a room with people in their PJ's and probably leave asap.

I don't understand the concept of not getting dressed.

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