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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to be dressed if they've invited people round

903 replies

Exileinengland1999 · 28/12/2016 14:37

Just that really- got invited round for Xmas drinks at some friends at 4pm and they were in their pjs and stayed like that for a 2 hour visit - Aibu to feel uncomfortable with the extreme casual-ness of it all. Even my kids asked why they were in their pjs Confused

OP posts:
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15
Brytte · 28/12/2016 16:16

1horatio I don't care if it looks ridiculous. We're in my home. And I highly doubt my family or close friends uncomfortable... why would they be?

The OP is talking about school parent friends. Even if there are some people who live a sort of soap opera life, where all their friends and family are people who have lived in the same street forever and are extremely familiar with one another, wouldn't you think it impolite to be dressed in PJs if you'd invited people over you'd only met a few times before?

TheFairyCaravan · 28/12/2016 16:19

I spend a lot of time in my pyjamas due to my health conditions but if we're having guests over I get dressed. I just wouldn't be comfortable sat in my nightwear.

YANBU OP

1horatio · 28/12/2016 16:19

Brytte

I wouldn't do it. And it obviously also depends on the event... a dressing gown is fine for brunch but certainly not for a party. I personally wear a suit (or something similar) for 5-7 days a week. I want to be comfortable in my own home...

However, I wouldn't be offended if anybody else invited me and was still in their pyjamas.

YorkiesGlasses · 28/12/2016 16:20

What would clothes cover up that jammies don't?

Clothes are ideally covering up a fairly recently washed body with underwear on it. I don't even like to answer the door to the postman in my PJs. Maybe he's a rude sod, but his eyes shoot straight to my chest in a way that doesn't happen when I'm wearing clothes with a bra underneath. Someone wearing PJs at 4pm in the afternoon has been wearing them since the day before with no underwear. They more than likely haven't showered. I'd feel uncomfortable to stand too close tbh...

SenecaFalls · 28/12/2016 16:20

Only in the parallel MN universe, is it considered perfectly acceptable to invite guests over for brunch and swan about in your dressing gown, as you dish up.

Indeed. I would find this very strange, but I live in the US Deep South where this would be considered not only odd, but quite rude.

MaQueen · 28/12/2016 16:20

Exactly nick I'm intrigued as to what ridiculously uncomfortable clothes these people wear???

Are they knitted from barbed wire...lined with sandpaper...stitched with rope???

Today I am wearing some well worn jeans and a 'soft as a baby cloud' angora sweater. Just as comfy as my PJs...

CotswoldStrife · 28/12/2016 16:21

YANBU OP, I'd feel uncomfortable too and probably never go back

Fine to have a pyjama day if no-one is coming to the house. But if you have invited someone round, then get dressed!

amammabear · 28/12/2016 16:25

I've got friends coming over tonight, and I'm tempted to get into my pyjamas before they come- just BECAUSE of this thread... Lol

GrinGrinGrin

irregularegular · 28/12/2016 16:26

Yes very very odd to invite friends (not even very close ones) for Xmas drinks and nibbles and not be properly dressed.

I can just about imagine a very informal arrangement where I'd told close friends that they were welcome to pop by on such and such day for coffee but be warned that we will be having a very relaxed day and may still be in pjs. But even then I'd probably go and throw some clothes on once they turned up.

fussychica · 28/12/2016 16:29

I agree with the OP would makee me feel they had forgotten I was coming. I'm surprised that so many people are OK with this. Perhaps it's an age thing as we always get dressed but my DS will sit around in his pj's all day if he isn't going to work or going out. I get that, he likes being totally relaxed as he wears a suit all week. However, he wouldn't dream of hosting family or friends in his pjs, and, like me he would take that as a sign that someone couldn't be arsed to make an effort to get dressed. To be honest we all dress up a bit if we have friends or family over for lunch or drinks, rather than not get dressed at all.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2016 16:30

Who's to say they didn't shower then put on clean jammies. Rather than put the clothes they were wearing pre shower back on?

BakeOffBiscuits · 28/12/2016 16:30

In all my 51 years I have never been invited to someone's house to find they are in their PJs.

It's revolting and rude IMO.

1horatio · 28/12/2016 16:31

Btw.... the showering...

You do know that many people shower in the evening?

NicknameUsed · 28/12/2016 16:33

"Who's to say they didn't shower then put on clean jammies"

If they are going to the trouble of showering and putting clean pyjamas on why can't they put on some comfortable clothes instead?

Howyoualldoworkme · 28/12/2016 16:35

But if you are taking off your nightclothes to shower then why not put on comfortable clothes instead of pyjamas? No one is saying you must put on a three piece suit or an evening frock ffs.
I really just do not understand it. Some of my workmates take off their bras and get into pyjamas the minute they get in. Maybe they need better fitting bras!

dingdongthewitchishere · 28/12/2016 16:35

I am very intrigued too by people wearing uncomfortable clothes all the time.

Are the clothes the wrong size maybe? Do you buy size 10 clothes whilst you are only comfortable from a size 16?

expatinscotland · 28/12/2016 16:36

'If they are going to the trouble of showering and putting clean pyjamas on why can't they put on some comfortable clothes instead?'

Because PJs are clothes Hmm

I thought the OP would read that they were naked or in underwear.

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2016 16:37

I'm kinda bemused why people are comparing it to behaviour at a spa/ski resort? I really don't see how the two contexts are similar. It's like saying "well if I have guests over I happily put my pyjamas in before going to bed and they see me in them". Well eh, yes, but this is inviting adquantances to your home for Xmas drinks and nibbles at 4pm and not being arsed to shove some clothes on, it's totally different. 🙄

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2016 16:38

Well it's their house they can wear what they like.

I'm just trying to point out that when being in jammies doesn't necessarily mean they slept in them the night befire and haven't showered.

If I've been out and got cold and wet I might well come home bath then put on ckean jammies if I'm. Not going back out. I would put a bra on underneath too.as I don't like not wearing a bra.

LunaLoveg00d · 28/12/2016 16:39

Very inappropriate - unless ill.

Howyoualldoworkme · 28/12/2016 16:39

Pyjamas are generally night clothes or if you are unwell.

MaQueen · 28/12/2016 16:39

I can barely tell I'm wearing a bra...and at a 34G I have considerable norkage to scaffold up. I think people must be wearing totally the wrong size/shape bras for them to be soooooo uncomfortable?

1horatio · 28/12/2016 16:40

they are going to the trouble of showering and putting clean pyjamas on why can't they put on some comfortable clothes instead?'

Maybe they shower in the evening? Many people do that? Going to bed without having showered is something I personally really dislike.

It's also a cultural thing for some people, btw.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 16:40

No YANBU. It's weird, snobby and lazy not to get dressed when you know there will be visitors.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/12/2016 16:40

Slobby obviously, not snobby.