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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Stop taking pictures of my baby!

238 replies

jammydodger92 · 27/12/2016 16:01

My OH's family are starting to really annoy me....Mostly his sister. Every time we see them one or more of them they take pictures of my baby. Now I don't mind the odd picture being taken to create memories and we send them pictures almost every day if she's doing something new or in a nice outfit. His sister goes over the top though and takes multiple pictures of my baby during the visit shoving her phone in her face in order to do it. One night she was asleep and his sister took about five pictures all the same!

We've told them not to take so many to which we've been met with them saying what's the problem? she's my niece or whatever I can take as many as I want.

On Christmas day night my baby wasn't feeling well as she had just had her injections a couple of days before and was very clingy and teary. She stopped crying and had a nice few mins of smiles with his sister, mum and myself. Without hesitation his sister got out her phone to take a picture to which I stopped her straight away and said no don't take any pictures. She said sorry but then and went and sat on the other side of the room in a huff.
We had sent everyone a picture in the morning with a sign saying it's my first Christmas so it's not like they didn't have any pictures of her on a special day.

I just hate the fact people think they have a right to do whatever they want with her just just because they are related. Am I being so unreasonable? There are other things going on with his family too but this is the main thing that annoys me and my OH.

OP posts:
Original poster
jammydodger92 · 27/12/2016 19:36

You sound like a miserable and ungrateful nightmare. I'm not usually this harsh but I cannot believe the way you are acting.

You'd better believe it Grin

If there are other issues with them then that's different but if it was relevant to this issues you should have included it.

If I wrote everything then it would take you all an hour to read...as I said before this is just the tip of the iceberg

OP posts:
buttercup54321 · 27/12/2016 19:36

PFB MUCH. Get a grip. You are behaving oddly.

Itsjustaphase2016 · 27/12/2016 19:42

I don't think yabu actually. It sounds really annoying. And just weird. Why do they want so many photos?? A couple would be fine right? But incessant photo taking sounds a bit silly, slightly intrusive, and unnecessary.

vonny81 · 27/12/2016 19:43

I think people are being too harsh. I posted a post once on a AIBU forum and omg I got slated! It's so hard without going into every single detail explaining yourself

As a new first time mum I thought when baby was here I awake be laid back, in laws and my mum would look after baby, me and OH would be living the dream making a family. But from the word go, everyone had their own ideas, deciding when they come, being ill,, using flash on their camera, not washing their hands. And basically it escalated from there. Given me anxiety about everything. Felt like nothing I said mattered and everyone was going to do what they want with my baby because they are related.
My baby is 2 at the end of February and its not gone away, it's got worse. The OH is a mummy's boy and has left us because of his parents putting ideas in his head, turned him against me.
It's shit, it starts off small things then everything is blown out of proportion! GL Op I hope you get em sorted early

Wolfiefan · 27/12/2016 19:45

So there is other stuff they do that annoys you or is much worse but this is the thing you've decided to take a stand on? Hmm

christmasjolity · 27/12/2016 19:50

Are you a member of the royal family and worried that the phone will be stolen and the pictures sold?

So you release 1 official photo and I assume a picture christmas card. Or maybe a hello spread if you are a lesser royal.

LittleMermaidRose · 27/12/2016 19:51

She's taking photos of your baby because she loves her. Wouldn't you be annoyed if she didn't show any interest in her at all?

My sis snapped at me for taking pics of her baby once. It made me feel bad, like I was doing something wrong, which I don't believe I was.

treaclesoda · 27/12/2016 19:55

Taking half a dozen photos at a time is pretty normal though isn't it? You keep the best one and delete the others?

Original poster
jammydodger92 · 27/12/2016 19:57

treaclesoda

That's the thing though...they keep all of them and never show them to us or send them to us.

OP posts:
AuntMabel · 27/12/2016 19:59

I don't think YABU about the photo thing. It sounds incredibly annoying to have someone poking a mobile phone in the face of a sleeping/irritable baby for the sake of a picture.

But the "I just hate the fact people think they have a right to do whatever they want with her just just because they are related." comment...is there something else they are doing other than taking photos?

treaclesoda · 27/12/2016 19:59

I get that you're annoyed by this, I really do. But how do you know they keep them all if they never show them to you?

chicken2015 · 27/12/2016 20:06

I'm pregnant with first child and I think people r being really hash, I agree I wouldn't like million photos being taken, I don't think family have automatic right to what they want to do with ur child just cause they are related. I have said I don't want any photos on social media and I will stick to that, all my friends know what I think of it and would respect my wishes so I would expect family to do same. I know it's a little different that as in ive been specific , but if i felt they wasnt really interacting just snapping away i would say something.

Violetcharlotte · 27/12/2016 20:08

Really? I'm always taking photos of my niece and nephew... because I love them and am proud of them and want some nice ones for my frames. I never had any issue with family taking photos of my boys - I was just pleased people cared enough!

If they're posting the pics on social media without your permission, then that's a different issue, but I really can't see the harm in photos. What exactly is it that bothers you? You say it's your in laws.. would of be such an issue if it was your family I wonder?

kali110 · 27/12/2016 20:15

Op Aibu? No, i don't care!
Yep, what a surprise Confused
I wouldn't worry about the sister invading the baby private space, she'll probably stop bothering soon.

OnTheUp13 · 27/12/2016 20:19

OP my family are like this. Sometimes I want to scream PUT THE CAMERA DOWN AND INTERACT WITH HER!!!

secretgirl · 27/12/2016 20:22

I think some here are being too harsh. Of course there's no actual harm being done but it's extremely irritating & intrusive. Of course it's nice that they love her etc etc but it's annoying.
Anytime I go anywhere with my baby, my partners daughter wants to face time! I despise it.
They are not show horses.

ScarletSienna · 27/12/2016 20:42

They could take what seems to be quite a few but then delete some and keep the best one. Ask for them to be sent to you - I ask my family to as I love having loads of photos. I think it sounds pretty normal so in that sense YABU.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/12/2016 22:53

Found myself getting uptight about everything. I have paid for multiple photo shoots and they want the biggest blown up copy so they turn their living room into a shrine for him.

Christ Alive, this thread is ridiculous. Grandparents want a picture of their grandchild on a wall 😱 And precious DILs make out they're some kind of obsessed weirdos. Seriously, get over yourselves, your baby is not the Messiah and it may shock you to know that other people aren't as bothered as you think they are.

It's threads like these where I feel sorry for ILs - because I could bet my bottom dollar if these precious mummies own parents wanted a picture for the wall they wouldn't make snidey comments about wanting a shrine for them. Some people seem to dislike their ILs for no good reason whatsoever.

I'll say again, the Precious Mummy Brigade would be the first to moan if their ILs didn't take an interest and never took a snap or asked for one!

Lalaloopsyscaresme · 27/12/2016 22:58

OP you've just had a baby so I won't be harsh but you are being terribly unreasonable and making a huge thing out of something that in a years time will men jack shit.
If they didn't care about the baby would you be even more offended?

nottinghamgal · 27/12/2016 23:00

Here have a Biscuit

Be grateful for these people to come and want to love your child.

So you want to say one photo per visit please? That is really very very odd. You need to check yourself a bit and realise the world doesn't revolve around you and your baby!

TheLegendOfBeans · 27/12/2016 23:05

Maybe...just maybe...she's actually in love with your DD as well and wants to show that by taking the pics to treasure?

What is the iceberg you speak of?

vonny81 · 27/12/2016 23:12

Precious mummy brigade 😂😂😂

I've got plenty of reasons to be pissed off with them, and plenty of good ones too! My IL's decided to take it upon themselves to make my life hell for choosing to breastfeed, it is where it all stems from. I never let them hold the baby enough cos 'I was making him feed!'
Fact of the matter is that know best, have no respect for me or the way I decide to feed or bring up my child. She said it was fashionable to bottle feed when she had her kids, so she hasn't heard of this nonsense of 'feed on demand' by breast!
I think the competition to have as many giant pics as possible meant to them that they care the most. Yet offering to give my baby lager on a dummy they all seem acceptable to a 5 month old baby!
Well here I am validating myself to a stranger. Just like I have had to do with the outlaws for 2 years.
Quite likely to be another pushy in law trying to make themselves feel better about themselves! Hope it worked

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/12/2016 23:12

Legend they probably wanted to hold her as well. Entitled pricks

vonny81 · 27/12/2016 23:13

Why can't people just be normal and there would be no need for this shit! Oh yes, that would be too easy and everyone would get along!

twinkletash · 27/12/2016 23:14

I took so many photos of my nephew when he was a baby that some people thought he was mine! GrinGrin joking aside what does it matter really? I'm a mum now and couldn't really care less if my family want lots of photos for memorises of my dd

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