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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Stop taking pictures of my baby!

238 replies

jammydodger92 · 27/12/2016 16:01

My OH's family are starting to really annoy me....Mostly his sister. Every time we see them one or more of them they take pictures of my baby. Now I don't mind the odd picture being taken to create memories and we send them pictures almost every day if she's doing something new or in a nice outfit. His sister goes over the top though and takes multiple pictures of my baby during the visit shoving her phone in her face in order to do it. One night she was asleep and his sister took about five pictures all the same!

We've told them not to take so many to which we've been met with them saying what's the problem? she's my niece or whatever I can take as many as I want.

On Christmas day night my baby wasn't feeling well as she had just had her injections a couple of days before and was very clingy and teary. She stopped crying and had a nice few mins of smiles with his sister, mum and myself. Without hesitation his sister got out her phone to take a picture to which I stopped her straight away and said no don't take any pictures. She said sorry but then and went and sat on the other side of the room in a huff.
We had sent everyone a picture in the morning with a sign saying it's my first Christmas so it's not like they didn't have any pictures of her on a special day.

I just hate the fact people think they have a right to do whatever they want with her just just because they are related. Am I being so unreasonable? There are other things going on with his family too but this is the main thing that annoys me and my OH.

OP posts:
Bobsmum02 · 27/12/2016 16:13

I thought you were going to say she posts them on social media, then I would say yanbu but if not then yabu. I can't see what harm you think taking photographs will do.

Footinmouthasusual · 27/12/2016 16:13

You will alienate them. Do you want to?

Hellmouth · 27/12/2016 16:14

As long as they're not posting them online, I don't see the problem? They clearly love your child so relax!

HolidaySpiritsReinbeerAndWhine · 27/12/2016 16:18

Seriously? I mean I agree with a previous poster about not putting them up on social media, but otherwise I see zero issues. Would you rather them show no interest in your child? Which by next year they probably won't as the 'cute little baby' phase will be either long over, or there will be a younger/cuter baby along to steal the limelight. You sound very precious I'm afraid, really don't understand the harm in a few photos by family other than yourselves.

CurbsideProphet · 27/12/2016 16:20

Do they take all these photos to then post online? I would find it very annoying and boring that rather than interacting with you and the baby they just take continual photos.

LucyLastik · 27/12/2016 16:20

Is your baby the first niece/nephew? My nephew is 5 weeks old so I get how in love she may be with the little one. I think YABU, sorry

boomshakkala · 27/12/2016 16:22

Yabvu

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 27/12/2016 16:22

I think it's lovely, I remember with my first nephew I used to go to sleep visualising all the lovely photos and videos we'd all taken of him. He was a total pfb in the family but we were all madly in love with him. It's really sweet that your sister loves her so much.

My contrast I'm now auntie to 7 and barely think about the poor 7th Blush wish I had the energy!

BertrandRussell · 27/12/2016 16:24

Do you think she's stealing the baby's soul or something?

DJBaggySmalls · 27/12/2016 16:24

YANBU. People need to realise that parents are protective over their babies and not make silly, unnecessary demands. I dont expect to play pass the parcel with a new baby either.

Buxtonstill · 27/12/2016 16:25

You are sending them photos every day? Don't you think that may be a bit too much? So its ok for you, but not them?

DeleteOrDecay · 27/12/2016 16:27

YABU, unless she's putting them all over social media then I don't understand what the problem is? You sound very pfb and I think this might be one of those things where you look back and laugh at yourself.

kali110 · 27/12/2016 16:29

Wow think you're being massively precious and you've upset her for no reason.

FrostyWind · 27/12/2016 16:29

YABU. She's not a possession. She's a member of their family, let them take photos. Very weird of you to object.

NotFromAJedi · 27/12/2016 16:30

Really shocked by how many people are telling you YABU Confused you are not at all! Your baby = your rules. Simple as. Unfortunately we live in some messed up narcissistic time where people don't consider experiencing something just with their own eyes to be enough- have to live their lives through a camera lens and that's what's weird to me Confused Stick to your guns OP Flowers

Magicpaintbrush · 27/12/2016 16:30

I think it's not the same being given photos of a baby taken at a time when you weren't even there, than it is to take photos of the baby when you are there yourself and are actually part of that moment? It means more somehow.

Sorry but I think YABU.

SaltySalt · 27/12/2016 16:30

Michael Jackson used to put a cloth over the head of his baby didn't he? Could that work? 😆

Only1scoop · 27/12/2016 16:32

Grinindeed is your PFB an aspiring Blanket Jackson?

Saukko · 27/12/2016 16:32

A few snaps? Sounds like more than a few if she's near-constantly sticking her phone in the kid's face.

YANBU, she sounds too much. She needs to put the phone away for five minutes and 'make memories' with her eyes and her brain, like we did in the good old days.

"It's my niece and I'll do what I want?" She sounds very immature.

I admit it's the other end of the spectrum to my experience - my family don't seem to think babies and children are remotely interesting and never talk about them, see them or interact with them - but I'd find the opposite just as annoying, a constant OVER enthusiasm, OVER excitement, pictures, "mine", babbling on about babies every 5 seconds, it's just as annoying. Give it a rest, lady. It's just a baby. Find something else to do other than take identical pictures.

Spam88 · 27/12/2016 16:32

Er...what? Confused I thought you were going to say she was posting them on social media or using the flash or something, but if she's not doing those things I honestly can't see the problem.

And as lovely as it is to get sent pictures, it's not the same as the ones you take yourself that are associated with memories of being with them.

Candlestickchick · 27/12/2016 16:33

You are being unbelievably precious, and more than a little bit mean spirited.

I'm not surprised she has got the huff. If you ever need support with babysitting etc I hope she tells you to fuck off.

SoberSusan · 27/12/2016 16:34

This is so funny, you are being very silly. Give it a year and no one will be particularly interested!

MrsDustyBusty · 27/12/2016 16:34

I think the phrase I hate most in the world is your baby, your rules. OP, if you go down that road you'll never have a peaceful or harmonious conversation with another person.

Goingtobeawesome · 27/12/2016 16:36

YANBU. My FIL was forever shoving a camera or video camera in my dc face as a baby and toddler. Now she barely allows us to take a photo Sad.

SecretTryer · 27/12/2016 16:38

My sisters have no interest in my babies. They don't visit them. If we meet at my parents house, by chance, they don't want to take pictures of them or barely even look at them.
I would love a doting aunt for them.
I don't really know why. My sisters are the way they are. We are on ok terms. They just have no interest in my babies. Would you rather that?