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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Stop taking pictures of my baby!

238 replies

jammydodger92 · 27/12/2016 16:01

My OH's family are starting to really annoy me....Mostly his sister. Every time we see them one or more of them they take pictures of my baby. Now I don't mind the odd picture being taken to create memories and we send them pictures almost every day if she's doing something new or in a nice outfit. His sister goes over the top though and takes multiple pictures of my baby during the visit shoving her phone in her face in order to do it. One night she was asleep and his sister took about five pictures all the same!

We've told them not to take so many to which we've been met with them saying what's the problem? she's my niece or whatever I can take as many as I want.

On Christmas day night my baby wasn't feeling well as she had just had her injections a couple of days before and was very clingy and teary. She stopped crying and had a nice few mins of smiles with his sister, mum and myself. Without hesitation his sister got out her phone to take a picture to which I stopped her straight away and said no don't take any pictures. She said sorry but then and went and sat on the other side of the room in a huff.
We had sent everyone a picture in the morning with a sign saying it's my first Christmas so it's not like they didn't have any pictures of her on a special day.

I just hate the fact people think they have a right to do whatever they want with her just just because they are related. Am I being so unreasonable? There are other things going on with his family too but this is the main thing that annoys me and my OH.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2016 16:38

OP, YANBU. It's intrusive and it's annoying. Tell you SIL to stop or you'll refuse to let her see her niece.

HandbagCrab · 27/12/2016 16:38

Yanbu she's a baby human not an exhibit.

BertrandRussell · 27/12/2016 16:38

"I think the phrase I hate most in the world is your baby, your rules"

Oh, me too!

DotForShort · 27/12/2016 16:39

I think the phrase I hate most in the world is your baby, your rules. OP, if you go down that road you'll never have a peaceful or harmonious conversation with another person.

I agree. I much prefer the "it takes a village" approach.

BertrandRussell · 27/12/2016 16:39

Particularly when followed by "simple as" or "end of"

Namechangeemergency · 27/12/2016 16:40

I don't think you are being unreasonable really.
It sounds a bit relentless.

People take endless photos now because its so easy. They tend to share them indiscriminately too which makes it worse.

If its a few pictures its ok but if its all the time it must be annoying.

ChocoChou · 27/12/2016 16:41

Mmmm YABU.
Would it be the same if she was your sister or is it because she's an In Law??
Regardless, the photos aren't harming LO

Candlestickchick · 27/12/2016 16:41

Tell you SIL to stop or you'll refuse to let her see her niece

Possibly the worst advice ever given to anyone in any context ever.

miwelaisjacydo · 27/12/2016 16:41

😁😂😅😆 you can't be serious

daisypond · 27/12/2016 16:45

I think it's odd that she wants lots of photos of a baby, niece or otherwise. I'd consider it intrusive and rude, too, especially as you've asked her not to take so many photos, so I'm with you, OP.

Marmalade85 · 27/12/2016 16:47

I'm assuming this is PFB? YABVU

memyselfandaye · 27/12/2016 16:48

You send them a shitload of dull (and babies are dull) baby pictures every day, but when they take a few themselves they are told to stop?

Get over yourself, you aren't the only person in the world to have a baby, and it gets so tiresome so quickly having to coo over baby pictures.

You're being a dick.

purplefizz26 · 27/12/2016 16:50

You are being precious and over the top.

What harm does a photo do, seriously?

ConvincingLiar · 27/12/2016 16:50

If they're not flash and she's not uploading, I don't see the problem.

ElseaKnowsBest · 27/12/2016 16:50

My mother does this except she hardly bothers with them. She comes in takes loads of pics with her in them "love my grandkids loooads!" Then fucks off.

gincamelbak · 27/12/2016 16:53

My parents and sister used to do this with DC1 (first grandchild/niece). She could barely draw breath without a five minute photo shoot and a video to record the movement. This happened a good dozen times every visit. It started off fine but eventually passed me off because they were right in her face. All. The. Time. She would cry.

The last straw was when we just started to wean her. And I gave her a banana and sister and dad leapt up and took photos. My sister showed me them and there were 50 shots. Some of them showed dad in between baby and the blinking banana. Seriously.

Then mum got the video camera out.

I lost it and told them all to chill out and stop interfering with the baby. And that fine, take a photo or two but then put the camera down and actually interact with the baby. They were essentially just viewing her through photos rather than playing with her etc.

So YANBU OP.

FixItUpChappie · 27/12/2016 16:53

MY baby, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!!!! She's a little bit part of their family too, no? Isn't it nice others are excited and want to be a part? It's such a small thing - really not worth being snappy and controlling over OP. I can be controlling with the best of them and even I think YABU Grin

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/12/2016 16:56

OP you will look back in a few years and cringe tremendously at your precious behaviour. Your baby is not a secret elite member of the royal family, get over yourself. People love your baby, she is family, and want to take her picture for their memories.

By the way, for every person who loves to receive your daily pictures, I can guarantee there's at least two who find it extremely tedious and don't give a shit

Coastalcommand · 27/12/2016 16:57

YABU. Lighten up and be glad people take an interest in your child.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/12/2016 16:58

I also loathe the hunz saying "your baby your rules". Also your DH's baby and I'd die of embarrassment if my OH behaved that way to my family. She is also not a possession

squiz81 · 27/12/2016 16:58

You are being very precious I'm afraid. I can't believe you said that to your SIL. She probably reacted the way she did as she was embarrassed and also confused by your behaviour. I'd be very upset if my sil spoke to me like that.

Be glad that they show an interest in her. Once baby gets older it will probably all calm down anyway.

user1480946351 · 27/12/2016 17:00

oh you poor thing, your child has multiple relatives that love it, want to taake pictures of it, and care! How will you ever cope with this difficulty on your life?

Next from OP; my diamond shoes are too tight and my purse is too small to hold all my 50 pound notes Hmm

BTW, anyone can take pictures of your kid, and you can't do shit about it. You don't own them or their image.

TheWitTank · 27/12/2016 17:03

Oh god, not the "your bubz, your rulz hun" line.

RebeccatheOld · 27/12/2016 17:03

I think, you are being a bit unreasonable but also a bit not unreasonable.

I don't want a camera shoved in my face every 30 seconds and I can't abide those members of my own family who post multiple photos of their precious child eating an ice cream or in the bath, or similar.

I also get frustrated about people in general who take a million terrible photos of the same bloody thing, but try my best to let it go Wink.

Like others have said, unless she is sharing them on social media or similar then probably you just need to get over it a bit.

user1480946351 · 27/12/2016 17:06

I also get frustrated about people in general who take a million terrible photos of the same bloody thing, but try my best to let it go wink

Why? It doesn't affect you or harm you in any way, it makes no difference to you. Why does it even register, let alone frustrate?