AIBU to be very annoyed with my brother?!

[Supermagicsmile]

I am sorry to be posting this on Christmas Eve, I know it's it really in the spirit of Christmas but I'm so annoyed right now and don't know if I am being unreasonable or if I'm just hormonal and tired.

I've been busy all day prepping cleaning and food for tonight as well as tomorrow. Family coming over tonight for a meal and bringing my brother with them. (He is staying for Christmas.)

Told him in advance that he would need to bring whatever he would need for his stay with him as I didn't want to be driving him to pick it up at 11 o'clock at night after friends go.

He has just rung to say that he didn't get his things ready as he went to the cinema instead. and after our guests go he will need a lift back to his flat to collect his items and presents etc and then be brought back here.

That means I can't drink anything with dinner and will be driving very late at night which I hate. It will be atleast an hour round trip plus however long he needs to 'get his stuff ready.'

I am fuming and have said I don't want to do it but have been told by my father that I am 'despicable' to say that I will not go and collect him
and my mum is crying saying I am ruining it for everyone.

Guess who their favourite child is so I am being made to feel like an awful person for not wanting to take him back.

AIBU?

Week done Super! Have a lovely Christmas.

Well done OP. Just remember that just because you feel guilty, doesnt mean you actually are guilty.

Merry Christmas

I wouldn't show them this as they probably won't be interested in the views of strangers.

Just know inside that you were in the right.

You are doing plenty by hosting, without having to transport guests who cba to get organised (presumably the only thing he needed to do!)

Hope you have a good day & that a New Year's resolution (if you make them) will be to hold your resolve say no & stand firm when they are taking the piss.

Merry Christmas!

Well done OP, I was so hoping you didn't go and collect your DB. I wouldn't show your parents this thread, they would twist it and I doubt the views of strangers will change their awful behaviour.

I hope you start a new thread in Relationships when you are ready - it's very supportive with lots of wise people ready to help.

Hope you enjoy today with your DCs.

Happy Christmas.

Well done op good to know. Don't let them make you feel guilty you did nothing wrong, he on the other hand needs his arse kicked!

Merry Christmas !

Well done Op!

Very well done!

Just put on your 'drama won't touch me' smile and float through the day.

I'm pleased you didn't go and collect him. Your brother really needs to grown up and your parents need to stop enabling him.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas.

I have a brother similar to yours. He tends to be an arse of epic proportion and my DF doesn't like upsetting him incase "something happens" as when he loses the plot he tends to end up causing all sorts of mayhem. I think part of it is that DF is terrified he'll have to take him back in/sort it all out if it all goes tits up. Well, of course he doesn't have to sort him out but I know DF feels he's obliged to (wrongly). Whole situation is complicated and there's lots of reasons (bit still very irritating).

More recently I have been taking a harder line and ignoring DB's demands and temper tantrums. And explaining to DF why I'm not going to put up with x, y and z. To be fair, my DF doesn't call me despicable and is usually quite apologetic if he's asking me to ignore DBs ridiculousness or go along with his demands. My mum has been much more supportive of late too.

I think this is because I have simply stopped doing this/caring what DB thinks. If he can't behave like an adult, then I'm certainly not going to waste my time caring for his good opinion. If he causes trouble for himself or gets into a pickle of his own making, he can sort it out. I suggest you need to start doing this too. I have found my DF is more realistic now he knows I won't be guilt tripped into things. DB's behaviour hasn't changed much- he still tries it on/has temper tantrums but I am not bothered by it.

The most recent example was parents christmas present. End of October my brother phones and asks what "we" are doing about presents for mum and dad. I say I am planning to do x and y, if you want to chip in then we could add in a few extras- cost will be £X. Db says "no, don't want to spend that much" and I say "ok, that fine. I will just get presents as planned and you can get them something else". Didn't give it another thought until 23rd when he phones- "what did you say WE were getting mum and dad?". I pointed out that we had agreed to get separate presents. He says "can't I just give you £10 each and it will be a shared present". I said no as I've put a lot of thought into the gifts, £10 is not anywhere near 1/2 of the price (not that I'd be getting the money back anyway, as this is typical of him- they'll be skint and this is a way of getting round it). He still had time to go out and get something- even if it was just flowers/a bottle of wine and chocolates. Cue major huff and how i'm just trying to make him look bad/stingy, it'll ruin christmas etc etc. Just calmly pointed out that he knew this was the plan, he had time to sort it out prior to this and still had time to get something. Left him to it.

How did today go

How was today, OP? Was thinking of you - I told my OH about your thread, he's not even on mn and was on your behalf!

It was good, thank you for asking.

My brother was typically himself and if I wrote some of it down I'm sure it would sound worse but am used to it so just ignored/brushed off.

We have more family coming tomorrow so hope tomorrow goes well too.