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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be very annoyed with my brother?!

188 replies

Supermagicsmile · 24/12/2016 18:36

I am sorry to be posting this on Christmas Eve, I know it's it really in the spirit of Christmas but I'm so annoyed right now and don't know if I am being unreasonable or if I'm just hormonal and tired.

I've been busy all day prepping cleaning and food for tonight as well as tomorrow. Family coming over tonight for a meal and bringing my brother with them. (He is staying for Christmas.)

Told him in advance that he would need to bring whatever he would need for his stay with him as I didn't want to be driving him to pick it up at 11 o'clock at night after friends go.

He has just rung to say that he didn't get his things ready as he went to the cinema instead. Hmm and after our guests go he will need a lift back to his flat to collect his items and presents etc and then be brought back here.

That means I can't drink anything with dinner and will be driving very late at night which I hate. It will be atleast an hour round trip plus however long he needs to 'get his stuff ready.' Angry

I am fuming and have said I don't want to do it but have been told by my father that I am 'despicable' to say that I will not go and collect him
and my mum is crying saying I am ruining it for everyone. Sad

Guess who their favourite child is so I am being made to feel like an awful person for not wanting to take him back.

AIBU?Blush

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 24/12/2016 20:32

Why does he even need to go back for his stuff? The presents can wait. I keep cheap spare toothbrushes for emergency sleepovers, he can turn his undies inside out tomorrow.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/12/2016 20:33

Of course you arent ruining christmas, your parents are guilt tripping twats and your brother has done this as he knows you will be expected to pick up the pieces. Tell them NO, if it means that much they can spring for a taxi or your mum can stop being ridiculous and drive.

Goingtobeawesome · 24/12/2016 20:35

Please stand up to these twatty useless pathetic bullies

BarbarianMum · 24/12/2016 20:35

Don't do it. They can't wipe their feet on you if you don't lie down.

Merry Christmas Wine

AlabasterSnowball · 24/12/2016 20:35

OP I think you need to plan a different kind of Christmas next year. Your hosting your Mum, Dad and brother for Chrtismas Eve and Christmas Day and this is how they behave towards you?
Really bad behaviour and you don't deserve it

hettie · 24/12/2016 20:36

Oh God, this was me for about 15 years. My role in the family was to look after my brother sort out his fuck ups Twas very annoying and damaging to both him and me. It culminated in me sticking my foot down about 5 years ago. So much better/nicer now. Don't do it and calmly explain the rationales given on this thread if guilt tripped. Stop now or it'll go on for ever...

MariamaMay · 24/12/2016 20:38

It costs £40 or more for a taxi. Then he pays that. He went to the cinema instead of getting sorted. It would be different if it had been work or something but he made a choice. Either he gets a taxi or does without his things. I think he is really being unreasonable to you ... especially if you are hosting.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 24/12/2016 20:40

They're going to continue to treat you like this as long as you allow them to.

You are in no way responsible for your lazy arse brother fucking off to the cinema instead of organising himself.

Your father calling you insulting things because you're not jumping to attention to sort your brother's life out is unacceptable.

This is YOUR Christmas too and it's not you ruining it. They sound appalling.

mickeysminnie · 24/12/2016 20:42

Let the family members take him home. Your df can go get him in the morning! Problem solved!

Finola1step · 24/12/2016 20:44

mickeysminnie has got the perfect solution.

RortyCrankle · 24/12/2016 20:51

Op I'm sorry but your brother is an idiot and both of your parents are utterly despicable. I know that you are bogged down in FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt) because they are your parents but you are now an adult and it's time you put on your big girl's blouse and tell them that you will not tolerate being spoken to in that manner in your own home and will not be driving your pathetic brother anywhere. They are free to leave at any time if that doesn't suit them.

Seriously this will only get worse - time to take a stand. Time to pour yourself a very large drink.

Good luck Wine

BattleaxeGalactica · 24/12/2016 20:58

I'm Shock at your parents, OP.

Let the lazy manchild get the taxi and pay for it. All the time people fix things for him he has no incentive to change his selfish ways.

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadu · 24/12/2016 21:00

Just re-read this again.
My word, your family are a bunch of cunts.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 24/12/2016 21:02

His choice to not have his stuff ready
Do not step in now, or you will be doing this your whole life!
If your parents choose to let this ruin their Christmas, that is also their choice
Ignore them and try and enjoy yourself

Masketti · 24/12/2016 21:05

What a tool your brother is. So it'll cost him £40? Well that's the price he pays for going to the cinema!

WhereYouLeftIt · 24/12/2016 21:05

Your brother is an arse - but what the fuck are your parents on? I'd have thrown them all out and told them to go make their own Christmas dinner!

Seriously - your dad called you despicable? I'd have shown him the door. And your mum crying , saying your ruining it for everyone? . What about her precious son ruining it? Jesus wept! Get a grip, woman. You and your husband are the reason your son is a fuckwit.

Fuck him if the taxi costs £40. Without consequences, he will not learn and he will continue to be a fuckwit. £40/lesson sounds cheap.

Qwertie · 24/12/2016 21:12

Sounds like it's high time you had your own little crying & name calling session, OP. What a very ungrateful family you have.

GabsAlot · 24/12/2016 21:15

what is it with parent and favourites that can do no bloody wrong

little twat needs to grow up

Christmassnake · 24/12/2016 21:17

get drinking ..no way should you be going to get his stuff.what a tool

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 24/12/2016 21:17

OP - LISTEN TO THE MN COLLECTIVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM! Do not let your parents MAKE it your problem.

(can you tell how annoyed I am by your family's behaviour?)

BeastofChristmasIsland · 24/12/2016 21:29

Another one who is raging on your behalf OP! Honestly, don't do it! Don't bow down to them, your brother sounds like a useless manchild bunglecunt and your parents ought to be fucking ashamed of themselves for a) producing and enabling him and b) being so unforgiveably nasty and manipulative to you. Get pissed and tell the lot of them to FOTTFSOFATFOSM!

EatsShitAndLeaves · 24/12/2016 21:33

Hopefully the OP is into her Wineby now.

I doubt it though.

SSYMONDS · 24/12/2016 21:40

Just explain that you want to have a drink and relax, but maybe offer to lend him the 40 quid for a taxi? Just to get everyone off your back?

I think it's really unfair for you parents to make this your fault. The only reason he is so thoughtless/ unreliable is because they treat him as though he is special and doesn't have to deal with consequences. My parents did this to my brother, and nearly ruined his life - it made him really irresponsible and he got into a lot of debt etc. It's v poor parenting. It doesn't prepare a person for a grown up life.

Original poster
Supermagicsmile · 24/12/2016 23:58

Family have left and taken him back so he can get his stuff. He's going to ring when he wants a lift back Hmm only ones still awake are me and my mum so it will probably be me!

Haven't put the DCs Santa presents out yet but want to do that when I'm here incase they wake up/come down. He also wasn't impressed that the bed I made up for him has DD's spare pink duvet cover on it! I am not changing it.

OP posts:
blowmybarnacles · 25/12/2016 00:02

Do Not Go!!!!! Its nearly midnight. FFs.