Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be very annoyed with my brother?!

188 replies

Supermagicsmile · 24/12/2016 18:36

I am sorry to be posting this on Christmas Eve, I know it's it really in the spirit of Christmas but I'm so annoyed right now and don't know if I am being unreasonable or if I'm just hormonal and tired.

I've been busy all day prepping cleaning and food for tonight as well as tomorrow. Family coming over tonight for a meal and bringing my brother with them. (He is staying for Christmas.)

Told him in advance that he would need to bring whatever he would need for his stay with him as I didn't want to be driving him to pick it up at 11 o'clock at night after friends go.

He has just rung to say that he didn't get his things ready as he went to the cinema instead. Hmm and after our guests go he will need a lift back to his flat to collect his items and presents etc and then be brought back here.

That means I can't drink anything with dinner and will be driving very late at night which I hate. It will be atleast an hour round trip plus however long he needs to 'get his stuff ready.' Angry

I am fuming and have said I don't want to do it but have been told by my father that I am 'despicable' to say that I will not go and collect him
and my mum is crying saying I am ruining it for everyone. Sad

Guess who their favourite child is so I am being made to feel like an awful person for not wanting to take him back.

AIBU?Blush

OP posts:
AlabasterSnowball · 24/12/2016 19:38

FFS I have a 16yoDS who can be a right thoughtless PITA but even he is more capable of getting from A to B than your brother.
But that's your parent's fault for raising him to be so useless and for making you feel responsible when it has nothing to do with you.

RandomMess · 24/12/2016 19:41

Urgh he can come back tomorrow - either do as your told for the rest of your life or stand your ground!

QuestaVecchiaCasa · 24/12/2016 19:43

Couldn't he just sleep in pants and a t shirt and then at first light, one of your parents could shlep over to his house with him to pick up his stuff.

That way you all get to drink.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 24/12/2016 19:44

I think you need to stand firm this year. Hopefully he'll learn a valuable lesson this year (and so will your parents) and next year will be much better. We live in the country, too, so I understand the transportation problems and I still have no sympathy for your brother or parents.

BTW, I have 33 year old and 27 year old sons and neither of them would ever expect someone to leave a party to pick them up.

I say have a drink or two then say you aren't 'safe' to drive!!!

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 24/12/2016 19:44

You will be needing plenty of booze to get through Christmas anyway, so start now and try to spend most of it in a state blissful oblivion. Whatever you do, this will probably be held against you forever anyway. (Yes, voice of experience!).

girlelephant · 24/12/2016 19:45

I would let him pay for a taxi. That's incredibly rude of him

Sittingunderafrostysky · 24/12/2016 19:47

Just tell him that he'll have to manage without his stuff tonight, and beg a lift from your Mum tomorrow.

You realise that this won't stop unless you put your foot down?

blowmybarnacles · 24/12/2016 19:48

I'm blowing a gasket just reading this.

He's 26, what an arsehole.

Tell him you have booked a cab which he can pay for. He was told and he ignored, selfish, entitled and enabled by pandering parents.

bluebeck · 24/12/2016 19:49

super wouldn't it be great if this is the year you start to stand up to them?

Just say no. What's the worst that could happen?

TheChineseChicken · 24/12/2016 19:50

How long will it take to gather what he needs? Surely the relatives who are collecting him can just wait for 10 minutes while he gets everything ready?

WellyMummy · 24/12/2016 19:53

He is selfish. Have a drink. He chose this situation. He has a choice, go back with your other guests, perhaps they could bring him back tomorrow OR do without the things he needs.
I hope that you have a very happy Christmas despite your family.

ClarissaDarling · 24/12/2016 19:53

Lift home from family friends then he and your 'D'P can split a taxi back! Or..... he has not intact bought presents and this is a fantastic way to martyr him self and make you look like shite. (Heavy sigh) 'don't worry DP I don't want SMS to have to be put out just for little old me, I'll just have to miss out on the joy of my present giving'..

EatsShitAndLeaves · 24/12/2016 19:55

I don't understand why you are even contemplating this OP.

He can either:

  1. Suck it up and do without his stuff - it was his responsibility. I'm sure you've got a spare toothbrush/pj's you can throw at him. He can wash his clothes tonight and wear them tomorrow
  1. Go home tonight and get a lift in tomorrow
  1. Get a taxi

Don't pander to him or your parents. Point out they should reserve their ire for your brother.

DragonitesRule · 24/12/2016 19:55

If you let him get away with this tonight then this will be your life forever. Just start drinking! Oooops....you forgot!

EweAreHere · 24/12/2016 19:55

Your dad called you despicable when he is just as capable of picking him up or arranging transport?

No. No way.

Tell dad to sort it out.

BoneyBackJefferson · 24/12/2016 19:57

Blame your parents for how they brought him up.

EweAreHere · 24/12/2016 19:59

He had time to so everything he needed to do. He just chose to do other things. He wasn't working, he was playing with friends! His priorities lay elsewhere, so this is on him, not you. Spell this out to your parents if you must. HE's ruining christmas, not you, if that's how they view it.

Just say no. Tell him he stays without his stuff, he goes home and comes back tomorrow, or he (or dad) pays for a taxi.

Start drinking.

CoraPirbright · 24/12/2016 20:03

Just can't believe that your bro is acting like a spoilt little git and your father has called you 'despicable'!! What did you say when he called you that? I am fuming on your behalf. There are definitely a few people acting despicably in this scenario - in fact, you are the only person who isn't! I totally understand if you want to go with the flow in this scenario (Christmas and all) but let this be your line in the sand. Let this be the final straw for you to say to your family 'no more'. They are treating you appallingly and its time to stand up for yourself.

Clandestino · 24/12/2016 20:03

Say no. He fucked up, he has to take a taxi. Honestly, I'd tell them they can pay his taxi. Then go and have a big G&T.

BlueFolly · 24/12/2016 20:09

So a taxi cost £40, that sounds like a good solution to me.

GloriousGoosebumps · 24/12/2016 20:14

Well you're certainly stuck between a rock and a hard place. I suspect that on some level he finds it great fun to seriously inconvenience you so let the relatives take him home when they leave tonight. He can then collect his stuff and get a taxi back to you. Encourage him to book the taxi in advance and offer him £10 i.e. 50 % of the cost. He'll find it a lot less fun when you're not sitting in your car waiting for him to organise himself. He won't like paying towards the taxi either.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 24/12/2016 20:21

Please come back and tell us that you've told your parents that as it wasn't you who forgot your stuff and pissed off out instead, it wasn't bloody well you that fucked things up!

JennyWoodentop · 24/12/2016 20:23

You've said he can get a ride home with some of your guests, so let him do that - how he gets back tomorrow is his problem - taxi, one of your parents goes to fetch him, since it's so important to them that he be there.....

DixieWishbone · 24/12/2016 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadu · 24/12/2016 20:28

Show this thread to them.

DB - You are a wanker and a cunt.
Parents - you are fucking cunting idiots.