BIL cancelled 3 days before Christmas

[chunky1]

AIBU to be very upset/ disappointed by this?
DH and I function very differently from BIL/SIL which is fine as essentially we are all different. We try to be organised-ish and be on time etc where as BIL/SIL often cancels last minute and only ever apologises when they are 30mins late... over the years this has caused some friction but we ignore it as we are family...
This year our BIL is due their 2nd child mid Dec and we therefore offered to host Christmas as we are only 20 mins away. We have children ourselves so have all the baby things eg cot, and we will have food for their toddler. We decided to host mainly to make life easier for them and they were aware of this. The plan was made end of Nov.
This is their 2nd child so they should know the challenges of the newborn phase.
Yesterday, BIL called and 'casually' mentioned that they are not coming over for Christmas. DH who usually sweeps things under the carpet, went livid. BIL excuse being they have a newborn - but surely they knew this in the last 9 months??
I have been up past midnight 2 nights last week pre ordering food (not their fault, just the only time I had) and accomodating to their dietary needs. We now have £200 worth of food in fridge/ freezer and DH's only sibling bothers to tell us 3 days beforehand they are not coming... I am disappointed and quite pissed off. AIBU? Or should I be more understanding they have a newborn???

YANBU

They should have told you before now, not casually mention it in what sounds like a "by the way". That's really inconsiderate and having a newborn isn't really an excuse for rudeness.

They must have known that you'd need to have ordered in extra food and so on, if they'd given you more notice they could have prevented you wasting time and money. I'd be pissed off with them too.

Having a newborn does not give you the right to be rude or put your relatives to needless expense. I think there's too many excuses made.

People are being ridiculously over generous to BIL and wife. Just because people have a newborn does not suddenly stop them from being selfish and inconsiderate. These two jokers sound awful and I would be very bloody annoyed to have a 3 days before cancellation with no apology. Newborns do not generally completely turn everything upside down if they are well and expected etc. I would be telling them that they have been rude, and certainly not inviting them again.

Wow just seen the update. Unbelievably rude!!! Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your family OP

just unbelievable. def don't invite them over again! cheeky feckers.