To warn DB that his GF might not be welcome at ours on Christmas day?

[KellyBoo800]

My DB is one of my best friends. He works in the emergency services so will be working christmas day evening - him, his gf and her two children are spending the day with my parents.

My parents are coming to me on Christmas day evening for drinks and nibbles and DB asked a month or so ago if his GF and her children could come, and I of course said yes.

Now the AIBU - she has recently announced she is in very early stages of pregnancy. I am undergoing fertility treatment. She is not at all sensitive to my situation (seems to put on a supportive front but makes a lot of comments that just aren't welcome). She did this at my DSDs birthday party two weeks ago and it bothered me a lot and I was quite upset by the time she left. I am happy for her but a little bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss, for example if she could not mention 'the bump' every five minutes (she's 6 weeks, there is no bump!). WIBU to ask my brother to keep her away if this is how she will behave?

I don't want to cause any problems with him so I'm tempted just to leave it, but I'm dreading having to face another christmas where I'm constantly reminded of our problems (last year DSD came to us from her mums on Christmas morning, sharing the wonderful news that her mum was pregnant. Happy for her, but a massive blow for me).

Also I know it sounds like I don't like the gf very much but I've tried really hard with her and I am also very nice to her. It's a very new relationship (met in september) so it's a lot to get my head around when DH and I have been trying for so long.

IABU aren't I? I can't actually ask her not to come

Wow Cutting! You really are a horrible twat. OP, I think you've been so restrained. I hope you have a great Christmas, your SIL keeps her mouth shut and you have your own pregnancy in 2017.

Wow Cutting! You really are a horrible twat

i feel for your brother, the fact she has 2 children by the time she is 20, not with their dads, meets your db and withing 6w is preg, therefore forever having a tie with her, if it is his first real relationship, i hope he doesnt get hurt

seems weird gf wants to spend christmas with people she has known 3mths as db isnt going to be there

having infertility issues my self, i understand how you feel, yes we are happy for people when preg, but it is a blow/stab to the heart

low sperm isnt the end of the world, esp if fathered before, some say give up smoking/drinking/have cool showers, wear loose boxers etc and see an improvement, plus icsi

i hope ivf works for you and if you want to chat about it, then please message me

and the phrase someone said earlier to say to gf, say it

she prob doesnt mean to upset you, those who dont know the pain of infertility often dont reliese it, and she is excited as preg

You cant uninvite her but i think if they have only been together since sept it would be a bit weird if she chose to come to yours instead of going to her parents unless they don't have a good relationship or something.

I feel really sorry for you brother. I hope it works out with this girl but I am not hopeful.

As others have said....YABVU but for understandable reasons.

YABu.U. It is hard, but you cannot expect people to feel guilty and try to hide their excitedness for their situation from you, because of how things are for you.
I say this as someone who has struggled with fertility for 8 years. It isn't easy but we can't hold those around us ransom because of it.

She sounds like a nightmare and you sound remarkably understanding.

As for she and your brother being together forever? I wouldn't put money on it. They're both very young and they've been together such a short time.

YABu.U. It is hard, but you cannot expect people to feel guilty and try to hide their excitedness for their situation from you, because of how things are for you

Yep, you can expect people not to come into your home and go on and on about how they are five minutes pregnant by someone they barely know, when they know you are having fertility problems.

IT's a bit like how you can expect someone not to come in and shit on your rug. Basic standards of human decency, thats all it is.

I think a lot of people do not read the updates, so they are going on the Opening post only. Don't take it to heart Kelly.

Hmm. I do agree it's the way they say things. I had a few friends pregnant with second dc at the same time and I was really happy for them then one told me how she wasn't 100% happy she was pregnant and her husband and her had had an argument but it will be ok. And how she didn't even need to try! Oh that wasn't helpful!