To warn DB that his GF might not be welcome at ours on Christmas day?

[KellyBoo800]

My DB is one of my best friends. He works in the emergency services so will be working christmas day evening - him, his gf and her two children are spending the day with my parents.

My parents are coming to me on Christmas day evening for drinks and nibbles and DB asked a month or so ago if his GF and her children could come, and I of course said yes.

Now the AIBU - she has recently announced she is in very early stages of pregnancy. I am undergoing fertility treatment. She is not at all sensitive to my situation (seems to put on a supportive front but makes a lot of comments that just aren't welcome). She did this at my DSDs birthday party two weeks ago and it bothered me a lot and I was quite upset by the time she left. I am happy for her but a little bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss, for example if she could not mention 'the bump' every five minutes (she's 6 weeks, there is no bump!). WIBU to ask my brother to keep her away if this is how she will behave?

I don't want to cause any problems with him so I'm tempted just to leave it, but I'm dreading having to face another christmas where I'm constantly reminded of our problems (last year DSD came to us from her mums on Christmas morning, sharing the wonderful news that her mum was pregnant. Happy for her, but a massive blow for me).

Also I know it sounds like I don't like the gf very much but I've tried really hard with her and I am also very nice to her. It's a very new relationship (met in september) so it's a lot to get my head around when DH and I have been trying for so long.

IABU aren't I? I can't actually ask her not to come

No, I'm not an anti vaxer. I have a duty to.protect my children until they are old enough to make their own informed decisions.

Those who don't vaccinate are neglectful as far as I'm concerned.

Prevention is always better than cure.

I however can make choices for myself. I canchoose or not choose treatment. I would not try to treat cancer if I had it. That's my choice. However I would for example, treat a wound or take antibiotics for a bladder infection (after trying all natural.methods to cure first)

You would not treat cancer, even if you knew there was a good chance of being cured? You would chose to die, even though you're a parent. Wow.

I would not try to treat cancer if I had it.

Sounds eminently sensible. Nature's way of telling you to die right?

I would for example, treat a wound or take antibiotics for a bladder infection (after trying all natural.methods to cure first)

I know right, when I split my leg open falling on a rusty nail I just sung it a little song and rubbed some essence of sunbeam into it and it healed right up!

I can choose to do with my own body and life as I like. Including singing it little songs

You can do whatever you want but peddling such bollocks on a public forum is irresponsible at best.

I feel the same about people being told that fertility treatment and abortion is OK.

We all have our own feelings on different subjects. Life would be so boring if we were all the same now wouldn't it?

Yes you are right to do what you wish with your body, but with so many cancers being totally treatable it would seem a very selfish thing to refuse treatment and potentially deprive young children of a mother.

I feel the same about people being told that fertility treatment and abortion is OK.

And where is your scientific evidence to support that?

Well, as I said, you do if you are peddling dangerous opinions on a public forum.

If I came on here and said everyone should feed their children solely on gummy bears because that makes them intelligent on the sole basis of that BEING MY OPINION THAT I'M ENTITLED TO, there would be uproar. Rightly so.

Cutting have you considered just shutting up?

You're obviously motivated by something other than theoretical debate.

See 😁

You're. HTH.

Cutting you are literally revelling in saying hurtful things. That makes you a really shitty person :) :) :) my opinion is that you should just run off a cliff or something. I'm sure you don't give a shit about it, which is exactly how I feel about the opinions of someone who is being deliberately spiteful, cruel, goady, and a cunt. Merry Christmas.

I can't believe the Yabu's! It's your home, on Christmas, and this woman who your family has known for five minutes comes in flaunting, purposefully, the fact that she is knocked up already, knowing her host has fertility issues?

Of course yanbu, OP. You're a saint to have said she can come in the first place.

This thread is disgusting, some are angry at individual posting... then others citing for an individual commit suicide

Honestly just ignore, or report, it supposed to be a adult site, reading this is being back in the playground!

No point in reporting when mnhq ignore it completely.

Hardly ignored, the posts I reported have been deleted.

Cutting you are embarrassing yourself, please stop.

Hi OP, I am so sorry to hear you are going through a tough time and for that to be exacerbated by your DB's GF. 🌺 She is being at best tactless. You have mentioned you don't believe her behaviour is deliberate.
I would suggest that you calmly pull her up on her comment(s) next time she puts her foot in her mouth / says something stupid and hurtful such as saying 'GF, that is not very nice and insensitive given my personal circumstances'. Straight out and matter-of-factly so that there are no misunderstandings. If said in a calm manner, it minimises the chances of the other person being offended. If she continues, tell her outright she is being insensitive and that you have had enough. Sometimes, people just need to be made aware bluntly that they are being silly and hurtful.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas and that good things happen for you in 2017. 🙏🏻