"If you want to stay in touch with OW, then you're not welcome in mine or DH's life"

[BraveDancing]

This is the message (paraphrased for brevity) that I've just received from the wife of a close friend from uni.

The OW in question is a very close friend of my OH. We are all part of the same big mob of friends. Apparently she and this guy were having an affair, which I knew nothing about. His DW found out today and sent a similar message to a number of mutual friends.

AIBU to really resent being dragged into a situation which is none of my business and none of my making? I get she's upset but I feel like she's trying to use me as a weapon to hurt the two people involved, and I dislike that intently.

cross-posted with Livia

Reveal All the more reason for the OP to get as far away from the wife as possible, if she and her partner want to stay friends with the DH and the OW

Livia

You may be right,

I'm probably being naive. But when I was cheated on by my ex we worked it out and idk. Although I was really hurt (obviously) I didn't mistreat my friends because of it.

If the couple do work it out, it will be even more awkward because the wife may find it difficult to speak to the OP if she spills her guts now.

Livia

I don't mean we stayed together. I mean, we worked through it,had long talks, did our best to preserve our friendship and accept that we just weren't right for each other anymore.

1horatio That's good - and the mature and sensible way of doing it. However the wife in this situation is determined to rinse the last bit of dignity away by contacting her DH's friends and trying to get them 'on side'