'Plans have changed for Christmas, we're coming to yours'

[AmberStClare]

Found this text on my phone this morning when I woke up. I rang her up to be told her DP has walked out on her and her 2 DC so she wants to come to me for Christmas through to New Year.

Told her that my DP and I are going away, cottage share in the West Country with another couple. Planning lots of drinking, walks and adult conversation. This has been booked for months and I thought she was aware of it. She says to me 'no problem, we will stay at yours and housesit'. Explained that is not an option as some friends from abroad are housesitting for us (looking after the cats). She said we should tell them to go elsewhere as family comes first and was quite affronted when I said no.

Her other suggestion is they should come to the cottage with us and everyone can 'budge up' and make room for them. (Terms of rental are strictly four people staying.)

WWYD, I am being made to feel a complete bitch who I am told has always hated her and the kids so am being difficult.

Thank you MNetters, think you are right she doesn't want her DP to see the children over Christmas.

My DP and I are currently getting on the outside of some Pringles and a beer each, going to leave my Sis to calm down overnight and see how the land lies tomorrow.

I have a horrible feeling she took one of our spare keys with her when she went in the summer so just hope there isn't going to be any nonsense with her rocking up to the cottage and barging in (have the chain on).

TBH, she sounds like a drama llama.

If you round you're just feeding that drama. They'll be back together by Saturday.

A weeks a long time in drama land.

I'm another who thinks she's entitled, and that with all the upheavel it must be better for the kids to stay in their own home. On top of that the kids need to be able to see their dad, regardless of what's happened between your sister and bil.

If she does have spare keys lets hope she doesn't barge in when your house-sitters are there.

Can they leave a key in the inside of the door and use a back door to get in and out?

Look, her doing this not only affects you, but your house guests, and holiday companions. I would be really pissed off and angry if I were your friends, and your sister decided to barge in on our adult holiday with her kids, or I have paid for the flights which can't be refunded to be told that we are not needed anymore at such short notice. I might even ask you to help reinburse the flights.

Not your problem to sort out. Nice if you can help but she's turned down your solution.

I love how you're supposed to do what she wants as the other options aren't acceptable to her. However what she wants is acceptable for you, why do her needs trump yours?

Enjoy your break and let her sort out what she's doing.

She sounds like a manipulative bully, and cheeky bitch to boot.

If she's in the habit of breaking up with her dp, I would not be changing plans for her, particularly as you'd be letting down two other couples. If she can't understand that, then she's being inconsiderate. Trying to barge on to a couples only week away with two children is likely to upset your mates. It would bloody upset me!

If she's likely to bust in, change the barrel of the lock, about £7.

A cheap Travelodge room for them?

Urgh she sounds like a drama lama. The DC are very young and probably easier to look after a home and I'd be very angry if this was all about denying them contact with their Dad just to be spiteful!

I suspect she doesn't want to stay in her own house because she wants to 'hide' from her dp and play hard to get with him. Just a theory.

Change your locks.

Do not change your plans.

She sounds so rude.

Found a Travelodge with a family room free for her about five miles away but apparently that doesn't work for her.

Done all you can there OP. Enjoy your quiet Christmas retreat with your friends x

Is it possible that your DSis is worried her XDP will try and make contact on christmas day so she wants to escape the family home?

Is it possible that your DSis is worried her XDP will try and make contact on christmas day so she wants to escape the family home?

Why shouldn't he contact his DC?

Let your house sitters know to call you if any 'surprise' visitors turn up....though if your sis does that then i'd go ballistic at her.

she sounds rather like my narc sibling, everything has to centred around her no matter how it upsets or inconveniences others.

Is her partner aggressive at all? Might that explain why she wants to bail out of her home asap?

But turfing your housesitters (or you) out is not an option, I agree with everyone else on this.

Have you got any other family?

she sounds rather like my narc sibling, everything has to centred around her no matter how it upsets or inconveniences others.

I agree. Otherwise she wouldn't be demanding the things she is.

A shed? A beach hut? In December?

Sounds cosy!

What do the other couple think about her staying 5 miles away and barging in on their break? Be careful op.

Next time she lands on you, she can sleep in the shed, surely? Why on earth would you give up your bed for her?

Anyway, this time, I'd quickly change the lock so she can't let herself in when your house sitters are there.

The christmas spirit is totally lost on this thread.

Fairly sure I have no relations on here .... if i split up with my partner and my family offered me a Travelodge I'd be so upset. that is insulting.. If you are comfortable going away for a lovely quiet christmas and new year when your sister and nieces/nephews are going through that, thats fine. But poor kids. I'd want to do something just for them, even if my sister was a bit of a drama queen.

Was she expecting you to be in the shed again? Over Christmas?

If you think she has a spare key you might want to add another lock for while you're away...