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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wearing mother-daughter Xmas dresses to the school disco

234 replies

MatchingXmasDresses · 19/12/2016 12:17

I have name changed for this because I think I'm about to get flamed! Xmas Blush

Bought mother daughter Xmas dresses to wear in the privacy of our home on Xmas day.

Dd who is six said she wanted to wear hers to the disco. I said fine. This morning she alluded to us matching and when I checked, she had assumed I would be wearing mine to! She now won't wear it if I don't (but isn't being stroppy, just happy to choose something else if I'm not game).

This makes me uncomfortable, but I'm working on getting out of my comfort zone to build confidence so I am potentially up to the challenge.

Reasons to refuse:

  • embarrass myself or her
  • draw too much attention to ourselves
  • look like a dick (see point one)

Reasons to agree:

  • she may very soon find this idea repulsive and I think I might want to have this experience
  • it's Christmas
  • confidence building/leaving comfort zone

WIBU to agree/WIBU to refuse?

Help me mumsnet! (And be kind!)

OP posts:
estya · 19/12/2016 20:27

If I had seen you I'd have thought, 'ahhh, what a wonderful mother, I'd like to be her friend'.
Well done. Your daughter is very lucky.

Starlight2345 · 19/12/2016 20:29

Can you accessorise so they look slightly different?

squizita · 19/12/2016 20:30

There are a few "mumsnet know it alls" who are once again - and yes it does happen all the time on mumsnet - playing amateur child-psychologist/bullying expert when they either have little idea of the behaviour patterns in the average school or have mean-girl bully kids and think that's the norm.

  1. Children understand age appropriate. If she did this at 16, yes they would be cruel. At 6, no. They absolutely will rip the piss for what they perceive to be "babyish" but I've never seen it retrospectively because unlike some adults on here, they get that people get older.Therefore do it now, if that is your concern.
  2. Likewise bigger kids will ignore tinies like they just don't exist. Any school where tinies are picked on for clothing at the school disco is failing.

The only worry I can see would be nasty head tilty faux concern bitch mums unless they're all online that night.

Go for it.

For the record, I do have book learning and life learning on kids' development.
And seriously ... a school where a 6 year old gets bullied for wearing the wrong thing to a disco is a problem. Not the 6 year old. The school. And possibly the complicit staff/parents.

Jojofjo44 · 19/12/2016 20:33

Teach your daughter to be a trend setter, not a follower. Encourage her (and yourself) by telling her to say to anyone who is negative about them that she isn't bothered by their words, she knows that they are only being catty because they didn't think of it first.
Like you say, she may not want to do these cutesy things with mum soon, so enjoy them while they last.
I personally think that they are really fun and bright and will make anybody worth talking to a wee bit jealous that you have such a great relationship with your baby girl. Go for it and wear them with a smile.

squizita · 19/12/2016 20:33

Just saw the update.

GOOD GOOD GOOD FOR YOU.

Well done. Glad it went so well.

Jessesbitch · 19/12/2016 20:34

Do it! I would. I have no shame and I couldn't care less what others might say/think.

Mrsleighdelamare · 19/12/2016 20:34

Well done OP. For what it's worth, I reckon the naysayers probably have totally tasteful Christmas decorations - our tree looks like Christmas threw up on it, but hey ho, the kids decorated it and I didn't change a single thing (apart from move some of the really bad decos to the rear of the tree). There's even tinsel on the damn thing.

Tinseleverywhere · 19/12/2016 20:38

I'm glad you went! 6 year olds love dressing up and adults getting involved. The other kids would think it was fun too. Look at the theme days they do at school when teachers dress up and the kids really enjoy it. They all love Christmas too and this is just part of the fun.

fledglingFTB · 19/12/2016 20:39

I have something similar, a bunch of colleagues bought one in every colour.

Feck it, it's Christmas, you'll make her day! Give it a few years and she'll be running in the opposite direction from you at all social occasions... Grin

fledglingFTB · 19/12/2016 20:42

Bet you both looked fab Star

Wingdingingit · 19/12/2016 20:43

Squizita - what you said re tilt head faux concern mean girl bitch mums.
I may have embellished that a bit.
So glad OP did it. So glad!

ArcheryAnnie · 19/12/2016 20:44

OP, this is just adorable. I'm glad you ran with it and I'm glad you both had a good time.

Xmas Smile
Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 19/12/2016 20:44

Aww do it you will make your wee girl happy. And I bet others will b there with Christmas jumperson etc on.

1horatio · 19/12/2016 20:44

It's obviously a bit cringe-y..

But so what? I'd totally do that when DD is a bit older. I think DH should also wear a matching sweater or tie... but I personally also love ugly Christmas sweaters, so yeah...

Jojofjo44 · 19/12/2016 20:47

Ooooh just seen update I'm pleased that you did it

DeepFriedCamembert · 19/12/2016 20:47

Right, I'm off to buy these matching dresses (for me and the 5 month old female fetus I'm carrying) for Christmas 2017. Wear them!

thisagain · 19/12/2016 20:49

I think you should do it! The dresses aren't supposed to be tasteful - they and Christmassy and fun. No one would laugh at our school - only with you, not in a mean way.

EmGee · 19/12/2016 20:49

Good for you. My DD would be delighted if I did that too. Glad you didn't take some of the advice on here and just went ahead and did it! Honestly, people, it's a village primary school Christmas 'do'. Not London bloody Fashion Week!!

Just lovely Xmas Smile

thisagain · 19/12/2016 20:50

Just read update. Well done, I'm glad you did! Smile

Nigglenaggle · 19/12/2016 20:53

Am I the only one who loved the dress??? And good for you OP for teaching your daughter to have harmless fun and ignore the faux head tilters 😎 Her life will be better for it

Evilstepmum01 · 19/12/2016 20:56

Thats great you decided to wear them! I bought two matching christmas dresses for DSD and myself, we wore them to the xmas panto last week! She was well chuffed! I felt a bit of a fanny, but hey, it was all in the christmas spirit!

Have fun OP!! Grin

dorisdog · 19/12/2016 20:58

Oh, totally do it. The dress looks fun and cute. I once saw a woman dressed as a fairy (and looking slightly embarrassed) next to her DD wearing the same outfit. The DD looked SO pleased.

And remember the dad who wore a dress to school to make his son feel better about wanting to wear a dress? That took some guts!

Joinourclub · 19/12/2016 20:58

It's so silly, that it would be obvious that you were just doing it for fun and not taking things too seriously. You could laugh at yourself when talking to the other parents 'Dontcha just love my dress, I can send you the link, I definitely win the Mrs Christmas prize etc etc' . If you were matching but stylish it would be more cringey imo!

CaraAspen · 19/12/2016 21:00

So glad you had a ball! Yay you!

WhisperingLoudly · 19/12/2016 21:01

Glad you went for it - they're totally naff novelty items which is why they're exactly Right for a school Christmas disco Smile