AIBU to not want someone I don't know to look after my child?

[bookworm91]

MIL wants us to get an agency babysitter over a weekend away so we can all go to dinner one evening . No-one else seems to have a problem with this but me! DP thinks I am being unreasonable and that alot of people do this. We have never had someone i don't know look after DD before , She is 3 yrs old and has only been look after by family members or friends when needing a sitter . She also goes to nursery ( which i view as different ) who here has used an agency and do you have any issues with it?

I would never do this. The DC are too important to just leave with a stranger. That's my opinion. Tell MIL no.

Haven't read the whole thread but completely agree. Would not leave my dc with babysitter I had never met, ever. Loads of people do and I just don't get it. But everyone is different. Stand your ground and do what feels right for you with your own child.

Stuff like this drives me mad.

Adults forcing other adults to do something they dont want to do.

Stand you ground.

Judge some people are prepared to wait longer than others, that's all.

Children grow up, it's not a permanent state of never going out again.

If you don't like it, say no.

Although I'm sure the agency would send you a lovely chap.

oblomov

OP is 'unhinged' because she has concerns about leaving her child with a STRANGER! Are you being serious?

shakes head in disbelief

Oh god thought that was the pokemon thread! So sorry will get deleted.

I wouldn't do it and would refuse and wouldn't be swayed by 'bullying' if they're not happy about it then that's their problem not yours, you wouldn't even enjoy yourself for worrying

Do what you feel comfortable with. I don't leave DD with anyone she isn't familiar with. Never regretted it. I have had comments from people but I don't care. Her safety and wefare comes first.

DDs nursery had a policy of no babysitting for children at the nursery so although that sounds like a great idea it wasn't possible for me.

Are you staying in self-catering accommodation? If your MIL wants a family meal would it be an option to get a chef in to prepare dinner for you all? We've done it before and doesn't cost much more than eating out...just a suggestion

Msjudge , some people like to put the safety and needs of their children above their desire to go out and get pissed

OP YANBU and your concerns are completely valid.
You have to be totally comfortable with what you decide, and it's not up to your in laws. They may be paying for the weekend but they haven't bought the rights to make parenting decisions about your DD.

For what it's worth I would never have left mine with somebody that I didn't know.

At that age my older kids were only cared for by family if we were going out as I just didn't feel comfortable with someone we didn't know. Now we have our 3 year old as well we occasionally use a babysitting, but the big kids are old enough to let us know if anything wasn't right (they have a phone so can call us if need be). However, my 3 year old adores babysitters because they are usually happy to sit and play, chat, read books with him so he's in his element! He would be happy to have a babysitter every week!

No, I would never have someone I don't know look after my child in a 1:1 situation like that. Nursery is very different but having my child alone in a house with an unknown adult? No way. Your MIL can fuck right off with her ultimatum.

Have not read the whole thread but get the gist.

Have never used an agency (sou t we could afford it) and would not leave my kids with someone I did not know. Nursery and school are different.

Put a stop to MIL bullying ways now. Just say you will stay at hotel, hope they all have a great time.

In your shoes I'd be verylight and breezy.

Maybe say "Take lots of photos"/"Bring mr back some cake"

And literally laugh off any idea that they will not go without you, " don't be so daft, I'm very flattered but no one is essential at a family meal, go and have fun without me"

I would never leave my baby for a night with someone I didn't know, not even through an agency. Seen too many videos on Facebook to confirm my fears.

Well you don't have to go at all regardless of what the others are doing.

When my two were small and we had a big family dinner away I took one of my teenage nieces (14) to stay in the hotel room with them.

Agency is probably the best route to go down if you are needing someone to look after your children when family can't. As they have had all checks and will be insured!
BUT don't let your MIL take over or make decisions for you! It's your child it's up to you!!

YANBU, I would only do this once my child is old enough to understand who that person is and could tell me if anything was amiss.

There's nothing wrong with using agency babysitters, it works for some. HOWEVER, I completely and utterly agree with you. When mine were that age I'd only ever leave them with grandparents, and no way would I have wanted them with anyone else overnight or putting them to bed as I just wouldn't have been comfortable with that at all.
Your MIL is massively U for trying to bully you into it. Please do what YOU'RE comfortable with as a family, not what grandparents think you should be doing. It's not their parenting choice to make.

Fair enough if you are not happy with it.
I am a babysitter for an agency and lots of people use this agency with no problems .

Have heard more horror stories about nurseries than a sitter through an agency.

Notonthestairs: "
Tanith - are their qualifications not checked when they are employed? I assumed CRB checked as well - is that not that case?
"

CRB checked, yes they should be. It depends on how well that initial interview is done. Mine accepted my childminding certificate as proof that I'd been CRB checked.

The point I was making is that it was the only time anyone from the agency has ever checked. I didn't have to show my qualifications, only my registration certificate and two references. No-one ever checked since. Posters earlier in the thread were claiming that parents could check qualifications and that the agency babysitters are as well monitored as nursery staff. That's not true.