Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To sometimes have a takeaway.

103 replies

QueenOfTheFuckingWorld · 16/12/2016 10:12

Sometimes, when we feel like it DH and I have a takeaway, even though there is perfectly edible food in the fridge.

Unfortunately the PIL have got wind of this, and as a result we, well me really (because woman = cook ) are being accused of being profligate, wasteful and thoughtless.

It's such a petty thing, but they bring it up nearly every time we see them!
So IABU?

OP posts:

BadLad · 16/12/2016 10:14

Of course not. Assuming your children aren't dressed in ragged pillowcases because you can't afford clothes, how you spend your money is fuck all to do with the in-laws.

SerialReJoiner · 16/12/2016 10:16

Don't most people do this??! Dh and I sometimes complain that we have too many ingredients in the house and not enough food. ;)

Hellmouth · 16/12/2016 10:17

We have a takeaway 1-2 times a week. I cook from scratch all other days so if someone dared to tell me off about it, they'd get hell from me!

YANBU, enjoy your takeaways!

Sparlklesilverglitter · 16/12/2016 10:18

Unless your throwing away perfectly good food and then ordering takeaway YANBU

Here we meal plan for the week but if one night we don't fancy what's planned we get a take away and will freeeze, or I'll cook at lunch and freeze what we planned

NapQueen · 16/12/2016 10:18

I'd go armed with a list of hobbies and topics of discussion to pile on them as they clearly have too much spare time to think about shit like this.

Theconifers25 · 16/12/2016 10:18

Are we related OP? My parents got wind that we sometimes have a takeaway and now apparently the reason for all negative things in my life is because we are spending money we don't have on takeaways ?
Of course there's no truth in this but is wheeled out regularly. Utterly bizarre.

GoofyTheHero · 16/12/2016 10:18

Literally just text DH saying 'take away tonight?'. Loads of food in the house, can't be bothered to cook it!

hatsandbagsandshoes · 16/12/2016 10:19

It's nothing to do with them! Sometimes people cling on to an incident that they can keep bringing up so that they can belittle other people. I wouldn't worry about it, if they ever mention it in front of anyone else, it will be them that looks silly.

DrSeuss · 16/12/2016 10:21

My late mother was exactly like that too. She didn't work outside the home and just didn't get how you are sometimes so short of time or tired or had been running around all day and just couldn't be arsed.
Tell them clearly, your money, your food, your choice.

Nineloves1 · 16/12/2016 10:23

In my child free days my food bill was ridiculously low. Due to the amount we ate out.

By comparison a take away is cheap. You are saving money. Especially if you factor in the cost for alcohol, and a babysitter if needed.

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2016 10:27

Unless you owe them money or something, it's none of their business.

Just give them a spring eye roll and ignore them.

SuperRainbows · 16/12/2016 10:31

Whatever you do, don't stop having takeaways because of their stupidity. This could be the first of many things they decide to pick on you about and if you change, they have won. I realised after 25 years of trying to keep my MIL happy and convince her I was looking after her son, that she had deep issues and that my efforts were ultimately not going to make any difference. So be yourself, keep doing what you're doing and post on Mumsnet for support.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/12/2016 10:34

" they bring it up nearly every time we see them!"
So next time, insist let their darling son upbraid them about it. And maybe invite them to dinner and serve a takeaway .

AlpacaPicnic · 16/12/2016 10:38

Take aways aren't just about not being able to put together a meal - sometimes its about not wanting to spend your evening in the kitchen.
Sometimes it's a case of 'I really fancy chinese food'.
Sometimes it's a treat because you've had a long day, or a twatty driver, or you got soaked on the way home...

Tell your inlaws that you are supporting the local economy by keeping a nearby restaurant in business.

MrsMozart · 16/12/2016 10:41

Ask what does it have to do with them.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/12/2016 10:44

Next time they come over OP order a take away as soon as theyre through the door

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/12/2016 10:46

We have a takeaway once every 2 to 3 weeks. We rarely get to go out to restaurants so it's a nice treat. We buy the nicest takeaway we can afford and really, really enjoy and appreciate it.

Some people think takeaways are a waste of money because you can cook, but the point is that sometimes you don't want to cook, and I wouldn't know where to start with making an amazing curry like the ones I can get from restaurant down the road. But in some families it's unheard of and totally sinful.

DH's parents occasionally buy a chippy but they won't go to the nice one that's a bit more expensive. They go to the cheap one that they don't like very much. And they won't buy gravy or mushy peas because that's too extravagant - they have to buy it in and then MIL heats them up while FIL is at the chippy. They are quite wealthy so they can afford to have a nice takeaway - they just have this mindset that it's too much of a luxury and they should compromise on it.

Tenshidarkangel · 16/12/2016 10:46

Nope. It's called having a lazy evening. You've worked all week and can't be bothered to cook. We all do it! :)
(We're having one tonight! :D)

SapphireStrange · 16/12/2016 10:47

Have they not go anything better to think about?

Politely blank face and say 'How we eat is our business, no one else's. Now, cup of tea?'

maras2 · 16/12/2016 10:54

FFS.I'm a mum and a MIL and wouldn't dream of commenting on our kids food choices.I'm also a daughter and a DIL and neither my late mother or late in laws would have been so bloody rude as to have made any comments like these.No wonder parents get such a bad press sometimes

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/12/2016 10:57

MIL and GMIL once invited themselves over to our house and apparently told DH "what is ShowMe going to cook for us?" Do DH's hands not work? Can he not cook something? Anyway, we went to the pub in the end. Which was highly frowned upon.

SarahOoo · 16/12/2016 10:59

It makes me sad you even had to question yourself OP & then ask on here. You do what you want! If we're feeling lazy on a Tuesday we'll get Dominos Two for Tuesday....even if the Tesco delivery just arrived!

SurlyValentine · 16/12/2016 11:02

WTF?! I get my love of takeaways from my parents, so they've certainly never criticised DP and I for having them once a week.

DP's dad is on his uppers, so I don't think he has takeaways but he certainly wouldn't have a pop at us for having one. DP's mum only eats very plain food and wouldn't entertain curry or Chinese, but I don't think she'd criticise us for having one. If either of DP's parents did, I'd be asking them to consider having us round for dinner twice a week seeing as they're both retired and have the time and energy to cook every night.

Your PILs need a hobby.

MrsJayy · 16/12/2016 11:05

My mum is like this she has take away once or twice a year ususlly after they come back from holiday she thinks it is lazy andwasteful. The other night she had an attack of the vapours Dd1 told her she and her dad were having Dominoes apparently i should have cooked before i went out Me and Dd2 hate pizza the other 2take advantage of us being out and order Pizza. Op dont concern yourself what she thinks

Original poster

QueenOfTheFuckingWorld · 16/12/2016 11:05

Definitely not going to stop getting takeaways! Very very tempted to get one next time they're here!
They are very set in their ways. No takeaways. Eating out for social occasions only.

I think the bit that really fucks me off is that to them it's MY responsibility. DH can sit on his arse also not cooking and do no wrong. He can deal with it from now on!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5