AIBU or does a manager leaving a 32 week pregnant woman on her own in London smack of ignorance?!

[melmel89]

So I'm 32 weeks pregnant and had to work an event in London this week-hours of standing and also tracking across London travelling. We went on a meal afterwards and obviously being tired I wanted to go back to the hotel afterwards. My manager got in a taxi and said "you know where you're going then" and shut the door....I nearly burst into tears. Firstly I didn't and secondly why should I be left like that because he wants to go drinking?? Am I being unreasonable?

No you are right we can't know whether they did use work name (can't see why they would though). No we can't check up on whether they had but if we later found out they had behaved in a way that brought organisation into disrepute, there would be sanctions. Never actually had to though.
On a more positive note, our reward structure (including the flexibility, working from home, pay scales and other benefits), our education and development programmes and our staff retention rates are all very good. Stonewall rates us highly in their league tables. We must be doing something right.

Crumbs you sound a brilliant manager; I'd love to work for you.

Where Crumbs works reminds me a bit of the Victorian factory system, where in order to work there you had to sign a pledge of temperance, obedience and piety....

pregnant of not it would have been kinder, and probably much more managerly to see his team into cabs before himself. i have never worked anywhere where management wouldn't put members of their team in taxis first after a night out. especially women. they see it as their duty of care. seems a bit off of him. tho i accept that technically he did nothing wrong.

Two taxi drivers didn't know where your hotel was?

Did you not have the address?

To be honest, I would be insulted if my manager felt I needed chaperoning back to my hotel, I'm an adult doing a job and wanting to do my own thing by going back to my hotel, or out shopping or out doing anything I fancied in free time on London.

That would be pregnant or not!

Your taxi driver situation has nothing to do with you being pregnant??

YABVU

i have never worked anywhere where management wouldn't put members of their team in taxis first after a night out. especially women.

What if the manager is a women? Do you pull straws?

With the 'ignorant meaning rude' thing, I wonder if it comes from a shortened phrase like 'Ignorant of basic manners' or similar? Just because I remember learning that 'Not enough room to swing a cat' actually used to end in 'cat-o-nine-tails'. I'd previously wondered who was swinging the poor cats around!! Just a thought.

Tribunals have supported organisation over dismissal on lesser offences.

I'm finding that difficult to believe. If it's true, the tribunal got it wrong and I suspect it's the effect of company muscle up against a dismissed employee who can't afford to hire the big guns.

Fenella, I disagree. I think Crumbs' company sounds like one where management is transparent with their expectations, procedures are followed and that it's somewhere where the right person gets promoted, not one where nepotism and drinks with the boss get you places.

Elly I think we have different ideas of what makes a good company. For me it's not one where you are patronised and treated like a child. I am a grown woman and very good at my job. That I am pregnant is incidental - I don't need my manager to cosset me in any way and it isn't appropriate for them to do so.

Actually, Fenella, a tribunal might think differently. We are required to complete a risk assessment and make reasonable adaptation for women who choose to tell us they are pregnant. I value all my staff highly but yes, if they find being asked "Are you OK for getting home" is offensive', they possibly are in the wrong team. I'd ask my male team members as well.
On day of Christmas meal one dad said he was worried because his daughters school had sent a note to all parents informing them that two pupils had been approached by a man in a local cut through route. He got same 'cosseting' and options discussion with any perceived pressure to attend team lunch removed and support to do what he felt was best. In the end he made arrangements so he came for a short while. His choice and my role to support. Same with pregnancy -are you OK? Do you need a shorter day? Do you need not to go into high risk areas? If you are feeling dreadful from morning sickness, do you need to start a bit later? Do we need to consider whether driving has become uncomfortable? I retain my view that is good management not a slight on their capabilities.

A risk assessment is fair and reasonable but you have already stated in a previous post that you would 'fuss and cosset' a pregnant team member - that is NOT ok.

In summary, checking my chair is comfortable or that my workstation is appropriate: fine. Infatalising me is not.

Your company would give a shorter working day for the same pay for all pregnant employees?

As a non-pregnant employee, I'd be a bit pissed off about that.

Most of our staff choose to work well over hours but can take TOIL so great flexibility. Yes if someone could work better for starting a bit later once sickness had passed (and probably finishing a bit later) we'd be happy with that. Yes we'd be happy for someone to reduce hours a bit if they were struggling - better a few hours work than sick pay. No staff feel miffed, as far as I am aware as all have flex to suit personal circumstances. Might be you need to go visit elderly parent in hospital, to take dog to vets etc. I truly believe that if you treat staff well then you save recruitment and training costs, have better productivity and morale and better retention of some very good staff. People don't need to be dishonest or skive off as they know we'll try and accommodate their needs. Win, win.

I agree with Francis

Crumbs's firm reminds me of the one in The Circle. Anyone read that?!

Is the book set in Stepford?

If you don't know London, your manager should have checked you knew where you were going, but did you give the impression you knew where you were going? it would have been nice if he gave you the taxi. Pregnant or not.