To think the nursery manager was right?

[user1478265589]

My friend works in a nursery. Last week just before 8.30am (a busy time for them and they were short-staffed as two nursery nurses were late) an unknown woman bashed on the door, and when the manager answered, said she needed to use their toilet. She was insistent and emotional, said she had Crohn's and had the right to come in as she was registered disabled. Nursery manager said no and directed her to the public loos about 3 mins away. Woman then soiled herself, and asked to come in to clean herself up. Again, manager said no.

Since then, this has massively kicked off on Facebook, with the nursery and manager 'named and shamed,' the woman has said she'll report the nursery to Ofsted and the police and there's nasty posts all over the nursery's FB page. Staff are worried the nursery will be shut down; manager is very upset at the vitriol and insults being aimed at her.

AIBU to think the nursery manager didn't do anything wrong?

Having worked with the public fir many many years. Cleaned shit off walls, disposed of needles and drug paraphernalia. Cleaned shit and vomit off the floor. Seen shitty underpants left on the floor and shoved down the backs of the toilets and of course the puddles of piss all over the floor, like hell would anyone besides an actual friend or family member be able to use the staff toilets. No chance.

I wouldn't have let her in my house

Not just because of the clean up.

I'm a small woman. With a very bad back. I can't hardly defend myself against my toddlers

With my Dh at work, if someone demanded to be let in to use my bathroom and then decided to rob my house or attack me, there isn't much I could do to defend myself. Especially with two small children

user actually I think that her actions price just what a liability allowing her in would have been.

Likely she would have posted details of anything she saw or heard (which of course would a been a snapshot and not in Context)

Sure anyone would like the details of their kid posted over face book..

OP, you should post the link to this thread on these fb pages.

I wonder would there have been such an uproar if it has been a man trying to get in the nursery? I doubt it! Nursery manage was completely right in what she did!

I really feel for the woman in question. It's an awful disease. But I wholeheartedly agree with the nursery manager. Had my children been at a nursery who let random people off the street in for any reason, they would be removed.

Gudgyx Nooo ! We'll be infiltrated by a load of goady fuckers !

I once let a random child use my toilet when she was out trick or treating with her Dad. The turd she left unflushed was almost the same size as her (and there were shitty fingerprints left on the loo roll).

So no, I'm unlikely to let anyone I don't know into my house to use the toilet again especially if they are "insistent and emotional" as stated in the OP.

No. This thread should not be linked to that page.

I won't link them, it all happened last week so hopefully it's started to blow over and I don't want to stir it up again. Will show the person I know who works there though, so she realises not everyone's against them!

Interestingly I just looked on the nursery's page and it appears the woman has also posted about her experience in an IBS/Crohn's support group, but it's backfired and her fellow sufferers have posted in support of the nursery manager.

Oh that's good then

If a support group says it was the right decision too, it should help the manager keep going

I'm an EYP and we wouldn't be allowed to allow anyone in! We have stringent rules which the Care Inspectorate expect.

I have a disability but there is no register for being disabled. She possibly thought that the nursery would let her in over a garage but the nursery were following safe guarding procedures and her behaviour afterwards shows that she's out for revenge rather than accepting a nursery cannot place their children in danger. She could have been on the sex offenders register for all we know.

Oh good, I'm glad! Off to check my support groups now to see if it's there, haven't seen it so far though!

Yes there is no such thing as registered disabled and even if there was she still should not have been let in.

That's awful for all involved. Wouldn't that be classed as safe guarding the Dc in her care though? Without wanting to sound like I don't care I'm not sure I would of opened the door either.

To the people asking if I'd have let her into my house? Almost certainly, at 8.30am, if it was a sole female and my DP was in too.

Would I have let her into my house if it was night-time, it was a man, it was more than one person, I was looking after children...? Probably not.

I probably wouldn't have let her in to clean herself up if she'd already soiled herself either.

If she does have chrohns then she is correct about being allowed to use any toilet facility and I think her soiling herself was proof of that. I agree a safety issue is involved but I don't agree that she shouldn't have allowed her access to at least clean up. Someone should ask the people complaining however if anyone offered to accompany this woman to help out the nursery.

Oops having Crohn's doesn't mean you're allowed to use any toilet

I have chrons disease and it is an absolute nightmare but I get why the manager said no it's safeguarding children. I now have a card that says in urgent need (I'm a men member of crohns and colitis uk) and please could they escort me to use their facilities but they are under no obligation to do so, I wouldn't be happy if they just let anyone in my kids nursery so I don't think manager was in the wrong to be honest. But I get how humiliating it was for the lady too.

In our nursery parents collect and drop off in the foyer, they are not allowed into the nursery unless its prearranged, Christmas show/open day etc. Only parents with crb checks are allowed to help out. I thought that was standard practice I'm in Scotland.

My ds has just started nursery and when we wanted to look round we had to make an appointment and were escourted throughout the tour by the manager.

I totally agree with the manager, I have some sympathy for the lady and its awful that we cant trust people these days but as soon as she posted her ramblings on the nursery's page she lost all sympathy she was due.

Its awful that due to her humiliation she decided to attack a business and the manager personally. As others have said its a safeguarding issue and the manager was totally right. If it was a man, the keyboard warriors would have a differing opinion I'd imagine.

Hope the nursery can recover from this.

Oops

No, it doesn't entitle you to use any toilet you want to. The people who have the cards should already be fully aware of that.

"Whilst the card is not guaranteed to give you access to toilets, the cards are widely accepted and acknowledged."

www.theibsnetwork.org/cant-wait-card/

Opposite scenario.
5 star review 'Manager very kindly allowed me entry into the nursery toilets blah blah blah'
parents in uproar

I prefer the real scenario. Safe children, random people in uproar.

The opposite scenario I think ofsted may well get involved.

Horrible situation for the woman and the nursery but stories like this just get me really annoyed when all these keyboard warriors leave 1* reviews of places they don't frequent and probably never will (like the Organic Cafe the other day barring under 5s). This is peoples' livelihoods they're affecting. Same folk that complain to ofcom in disgust at programmes they've never seen no doubt.