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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
FeckinCrutches · 13/12/2016 19:48

Do you ask them to take them off when you answer the door?

Crumbs1 · 13/12/2016 19:50

I've always thought it a bit common, to be truthful. I do it if someone asks but most people I know would think it very suburban.

Baileysagain · 13/12/2016 19:51

We have a similar situation, we bought a new carpet for our lounge and my ILs refuse to take their shoes off in there and stomp their dirt into the carpet, it's so annoying!

Castleheights · 13/12/2016 19:51

Yanbu, I agree with you, however this subject has been done before and many posters thought it was rude to be "expected" to remove their shoes.

dailyshite · 13/12/2016 19:53

What Castle said - except I'm one of those people who thinks it's rude to demand that of people when they come round.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 13/12/2016 19:53

I would never ask anyone to take their shoes off at the door. I've been asked before to remove mine, it doesn't really bother me but it's odd to go around someone's house in my socks/bare feet.

FrancisCrawford · 13/12/2016 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dangermouseisace · 13/12/2016 19:57

I think it's completely reasonable. I don't understand where the 'common' comes from- I'm common as muck and was never asked to remove my shoes in the house as a kid. The amount of times my sister trod dog dirt in the carpet ugh. When I started to expand my horizons and went to Japanese people's houses, or Muslim people's houses where you are expected to remove your shoes it was like having an epiphany. What a brilliant idea I thought, and implemented that in my own home.

Recently I had a lot of visitors due to health issues and I stopped asking people to take their shoes off as I felt a bit embarrassed- I no longer live in a multicultural area and others don't do it. However someone trod tarmac into the carpet so I thought stuff it, if other people don't do it that's THEIR problem, they can have filthy dirty floors if they like but I'm not!

So, no YANBU. Keep it up Grin

Footinmouthasusual · 13/12/2016 19:59

Very old mumsnet debate but I totally agree with you op I think it's bloody rude.

I mean if it was a party you wouldn't expect stilletoes off but everyday mucky shoes yes.

It's so selfish and horrible with crawling babies

Popskipiekin · 13/12/2016 20:02

I've bought a stack of cheap but comfy slippers in various sizes which I keep by the front door. Makes it easier to enforce shoes off rule when you can give guests something to wear on their feet instead.

Cuttingthecheese · 13/12/2016 20:02

I never insist on shoes off, however I tend to find people copy what you do. I know that I do. In fact I take my shoes off whenever I enter a friends home. I think it's only polite, for all the the reasons stated in the op.
If I'm wearing pumps with no socks. I out a pair of socks in my handbag to pop on.

Sparklingbrook · 13/12/2016 20:04

OOh we haven't had one of these threads in a little while. Oddly comforting to see the title. Grin

Hardshoulder · 13/12/2016 20:04

Why would it be 'common' to realise there's an excellent way to avoid having dog shit, mud and chewing gum walked into your house by people whose idea of wiping their feet is a vague gesture of good will towards the doormat?

I'm the least houseproud person on the planet, and we have floorboards throughout downstairs, but I still prefer to avoid grime from outdoors being brought in. Who wants to mop more often than necessary?

I don't think I've ever in my life had to ask someone to take their shoes off, though, when we lived in London or since we moved to the country. In my experience, people default to it.

Hardshoulder · 13/12/2016 20:05

Actually, I've never participated in a shoes off thread before. It feels like losing my virginity...

ccoleman90 · 13/12/2016 20:06

Nope, I agree with you OP! I have the sort of laminate flooring that shows every little bit of crap on the floor, so I'd love for everyone to take their shoes off when they came in my house. Unfortunately most don't seem capable of even wiping their feet so I hoover and mop most days Angry

EastMidsMummy · 13/12/2016 20:06

It's your house and totally up to you to ask guests to take shoes off. And it's totally up to your guests to find the behaviour weird and unwelcoming. I know I would.

Sunshine59 · 13/12/2016 20:07

You think it's common to take your shoes off in someone's house? I always take my shoes off, people don't want my outdoor shoes messing up their carpets? Do you wear shoes walking around your own house?

TheInimitableMrsFanshawe · 13/12/2016 20:07

Until I met dh I had never met anyone who didn't take shoes off at the door and it was screeched at us at home if we so much as looked like we were going to step off the mat with them on. In laws know that we take shoes off at home but refuse to do it. In my book, if you're family you take your shoes off. If you want to keep your shoes on like a true guest you can perch on the sofa making polite conversation and bugger off after an hour. Can you tell this is a bugbear of mine? Hmm

FeckinCrutches · 13/12/2016 20:08

People are obsessed with dog shit on these type of threads Grin in 25 year or so of owning houses I've never had someone tread dog shit in my house.

HaveNoSocks · 13/12/2016 20:09

I usually do as the hosts do so if their shoes come off so do mine but it's fairly unusual so you should just ask everytime they come in.

smellycoat · 13/12/2016 20:09

For my house, Me and my family always take our shoes off. There is hen dirt, duck dirt, cow poo etc etc out in the yard, and it would be smearing the house if we did not. Tradesmen are a different matter. They see no problem treading it through the place! Visitors who seem inclined to leave their shoes on are encouraged into the kitchen which has vinyl floors. I don't say anything though, unless they kids.

MrsExpo · 13/12/2016 20:10

Perhaps not unreasonable as such, but I always think it's a bit odd tbh. Floors are meant to be walked on and are best covered in easy clean surfaces with that in mind. I would certainly expect visitors to make good use of the door mat by by door, but not to walk around the house in their socks.

EastMidsMummy · 13/12/2016 20:10

Do you wear shoes walking around your own house?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. I don't tramp muddy boots through the carpet, but I don't forbid anyone to wear outdoor shoes in my house.

smellycoat · 13/12/2016 20:11

You must live in a very clean area of the world, or brown carpets?

DrWhy · 13/12/2016 20:12

Fortunately DH is on the same page as me with this and jumped on his parents when it looked like they were going to walk on our nice cream carpet in their shoes at their first visit to our new house - they now bring slippers! Grin
I still find it very weird to walk on their carpets in my shoes.