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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 13/12/2016 20:12

It's your house and totally up to you to ask guests to take shoes off. And it's totally up to your guests to find the behaviour weird and unwelcoming. I know I would.

^ this

Gymnopedies · 13/12/2016 20:13

Could you buy some comfy fluffy slippers for your ILs and keep them in the hallway?

Blacksox · 13/12/2016 20:14

This has been done to death on MN.

Fwiw - I would never request that guests remove their shoes. It's unwelcoming. They can if they like but I think forcing guests to pad around in bare or stockinged feet renders them a bit uncomfortable. What if you're having a party? Everyone's all glammed up and then shoeless?

Baileysbug2016 · 13/12/2016 20:14

Not being unreasonable in my opinion . No one walks around in shoes in our home . I do ask anyone new , who doesn't know the rules to remove their shoes . My DC know to do so too . I have white carpeting almost everywhere and walking with shoes would be frustrating.

ToucheShay · 13/12/2016 20:15

You need a basket of artisan slippers by your door.

Oddbins · 13/12/2016 20:16

I think that if you want to have a nice cream carpet and you have children then normal footfall isn't going to be the major problem.

People barely get their arses out of cars these days never minds trek through a wilderness of dogshit on a regular basis

SoftDay · 13/12/2016 20:16

Hi, OP. I think it's probably just a case of mismatched expectations rather than your in laws trying deliberately to upset you. Although I may be wrong; you know them best! Likewise, your husband may feel it is disrespectful to make this request of his parents, especially if they are older. If your in laws are generally nice and decent people, could you rescind the rule just for them, for the sake of peace and harmony? If they are generally difficult people, however, I can see how it might make your blood boil to do so! I suppose you need to weigh up which will ultimately give me greater peace of mind - making a stand or letting this one go. Good luck!

SoftDay · 13/12/2016 20:17

*you, not me!

FrancisCrawford · 13/12/2016 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 13/12/2016 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dailyshite · 13/12/2016 20:21

Another one who has never had dog shit, tarmac, chewing gum, mud etc walked through the house - maybe the people I know tend to watch where they are walking and use the doormat when they come in.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 13/12/2016 20:23

YANBU, I don't know anybody who wears their outdoor shoes inside - how bizarre Hmm

Resurgam2016 · 13/12/2016 20:24

I always bring slippers to friends houses when we go out to dinner. Wouldn't dream of walking around in my shoes. Plus it is more comfy.

BUT

It's a hospitality thing. You can make it easy for people to take shoes off by supplying slippers but you can't make them. It's just rude.

Artandco · 13/12/2016 20:27

Shoes off household here. It's clean, kids play in clean area and we walk around clean environment. If someone didn't want to take shoes off they can leave. Their loss

NameSux · 13/12/2016 20:27

Only if you provide slippers and move away while they change. I have to wear ankle support and can't g'tee it won't be sweaty if I've been near radiators (on train) or its a hot day. I never take off my shoes near people cos I'm too scared of being the one with the smelly feet. (Yes fresh socks,shoes,support & foot deodorant used and still stinks at times)

Bestthingever · 13/12/2016 20:28

I was literally just talking to my mum about this. We have my ILs staying with us and they walk around with their shoes on spreading mud all over the carpet in the living room and stairs. Dh requested that we get the carpets professionally cleaned before they came yet thinks I'm just trying to get at his parents when I complain about this.

RegTheMonkey1 · 13/12/2016 20:28

I never really thought about it until I put my house up for sale. Viewers would come round and I noticed that people from certain cultures automatically took their shoes off in my porch, even though I said 'it's ok, you don't have to!' but they all shook their heads and took them off and left them lined up by the front door. I would say these were Asian people, Chinese, Japanese, some Middle Eastern and so on. I then went to pay a visit to a client at her home and noticed she had pale cream carpet in her hall so I said to her 'shall I take my shoes off?' and she said 'oh yes please!' But I don't ask anyone to take their shoes off when they come to me.

Ohdearducks · 13/12/2016 20:29

I've just spent £65 having my living room carpet cleaned and I can't bring myself to ask people to take shoes off, I keep hoping they'll get the hint when I talk about having them cleaned but they don't! I'm such a wuss Blush

Katy07 · 13/12/2016 20:30

I had a John Lewis delivery driver tread dog shit onto my carpet.
I take my shoes off & I expect visitors to do the same. It's how I was brought up. Equally I'd take my shoes off if I was entering someone's home (except old neighbour's - there you'd want to put your shoes on to enter and take them off when you came out - shudders). It's just good manners to not tread dirt indoors. Now if only I could train pets to wipe their paws...

BackforGood · 13/12/2016 20:31

This thread is done at least monthly on MN.
Some people find it rude that others wear shoes in their houses.
Other people find it rude that some people demand they start taking their shoes off as they step in the house.
A lot of people have their preference but really can't get worked up about it.

You'll never change the extremists positions.
YABU to get worked up about it, and assume you are right and they are wrong. It's a preference thing.

Artandco · 13/12/2016 20:34

I would say it's also height of bad manners to not remove shoes. i would assume they weren't 'brought up' correctly

Christmassnake · 13/12/2016 20:35

Wow,yes this winds me up to.every person I know removes shoes ,except fucking in laws......they are saying,your house is to dirty for our socks,we might catch something from yr filthy home if we remove our shoes....or at least that's how it feels....anyway I removed all carpet downstairs and we have Lino that looks like a wooden floor that I can mop...problem solved...so now I say,it's ok don't remove yr shoes....like they were fucking going to in the first place ha

Amaried · 13/12/2016 20:36

Where I am from no one removes their shoes and would think you were bonkers if you asked! ( Ireland)

PlumsGalore · 13/12/2016 20:36

All my downstairs except the living room has washable floors, I wouldn't expect shoes off in these rooms, but I would if they came into the carpeted area.

elfofftheshelf1970 · 13/12/2016 20:36

common?!! where I live, I expect people to take their muddy shoes/wellies off!!