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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
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8
Unwrapped · 13/12/2016 20:37

I ask everyone to take them off and offer guest slippers.
Throughout much of Europe, Asia and the Middle East it's the norm to remove outdoor shoes when you enter a house. Very offensive to keep shoes on even if not visibly dirty. To me it makes sense, why bring in more bacteria/mud/dirt than we need to?

TeachingPostQuery · 13/12/2016 20:38

I think it's rude to ask guests. We don't tend to wear our shoes indoors, just because slippers are more comfortable. Sometimes when people arrive they notice this (or worry about leaving footprints on the tiles if it's been raining) and bend to take theirs off. I find this really embarrassing - the sight of a friend or family member stooping on the doorstep before they've even come in and settled down! They're always told it's fine, come on in. Some prefer to take their shoes off, which is of course fine - but I'm sure they also prefer to be able to come in and sit on the sofa to do so!

I also hate being asked when I'm a guest. One friend used to insist on it - we'd all go their straight from work and the first time I was completely unprepared and had spent the warm summer's day in popsocks. My feet stank. I was so uncomfortable the whole time and left as soon as I could. Whereas if I could've just sat there in my shoes (which I had just assumed would be the case!) I would've had a great time, and my shoes would've done no damage to his (filthy) carpet.

anothermalteserplease · 13/12/2016 20:39

I don't think YABU. We don't wear shoes in our house and I start to get anxious if someone comes in with outdoor shoes. We do have a crawling baby though and I spent half the time cleaning crumbs etc off the floor as it is.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 13/12/2016 20:41

Ah great - after a cracking Mil thread the other day - we have our shoes on/shoes off thread time!

Floors are meant to be walked on and are best covered in easy clean surfaces with that in mind. I would certainly expect visitors to make good use of the door mat by by door, but not to walk around the house in their socks

This ^^ I am firmly shoes on. We have lovely rugs and white floor boards.

Myself and my family and guests that arrive in rain, or drizzle are intelligent enough to know its time to take them off Grin, shoes off was never a concept when I was growing up, nor was this cream carpet obsession which turns kind, relaxed humans into tense irritable carpet protectors.

elfofftheshelf1970 · 13/12/2016 20:43

hhhm, watching you when I grew up we had outdoor clothing and shoes at school and at home. no cream carpets to be found... I find outdoor shoes on inside revolting!

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 13/12/2016 20:43

To me it makes sense, why bring in more bacteria/mud/dirt than we need to?

  1. the uk is not asia there are millions of different customs all over the world different to us - its a non argument.

we need a certain amount of bacteria and germs and the last time I checked we dont lick the floor.

hippyhippyshake · 13/12/2016 20:45

White/cream carpets! ShockShock Who could live with that stress? Do people live with a hoover permanently clamped to their sides ready to pounce on the merest hint of a speck of dirt? Shoes on, blue carpets here. I value my sanity. And shoes off on wooden floors? The world's gone mad I tell you.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 13/12/2016 20:45

elf was that so in every house and family you visited?

We have super large family all of differing incomes and types, and lots of school friends and I have lots of siblings....all of us in and out of all sorts of houses and never a shoe off, in fact tell a lie - dads friends wife was from austria - shoes off.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 13/12/2016 20:45

Welcome to Mumsnet OP

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 13/12/2016 20:46

hippy pretty much yes the carpet must be protected at all costs Sad brings out a funny side in people.

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es · 13/12/2016 20:47

I agree that people tend to copy what the host is doing. I sometines put shoes on when I'm expecting guests so they won't feel obliged to take theirs off.

AprilLudgateDwyer · 13/12/2016 20:50

I don't mind taking my shoes off to protect someone's carpet but I once went to a house party where the host made all 50 people take their shoes off at the door but she had tiled floor so it was freezing And people wearing tights kept slipping over! Also took me about 5 mins to dig through everyone's stinky shoes when I wanted mine to go home!

hippyhippyshake · 13/12/2016 20:59

What would happen April if people decided they wanted to go out into the garden? Walk to the front door, carry shoes to back door and put them on? What a faff. Luckily I only know normal people.

bialystockandbloom · 13/12/2016 21:09

Has nobody mentioned the Sex & the City shoe removing episode yet? Normally it comes up within the first 10 posts on these threads Grin

ChickenVindaloo2 · 13/12/2016 21:14

Have we mentioned "artisanal slippers" yet? (as in "do help yourselves to the artisanal slippers from the hamper by the door")

TheCatsMother99 · 13/12/2016 21:15

I will probably get crucified for this but I ask people to take their shoes off, even if they're just going to be walking on my wooden floor on the ground floor of my house.

I'm also planning on asking people coming over for a nye party to take them off. Like I said, I will probably get crucified but I've spent a lot of money on my wood floor and don't want it ruined by people's stilettos marking it or other shoes damaging it.

randomsabreuse · 13/12/2016 21:18

We are largely shoes off as we are quite outdoorsy so there's a very high probability of mud on the shoes. Our previous driveway was muddy.

We don't expect guests to take shoes off but the divide is very much town vs country - country generally take shoes off, town don't...

ShatnersBassoon · 13/12/2016 21:27

I prefer people to keep their shoes on if they're only going to be downstairs ie most visitors. I don't like the thought of inconveniencing them, and you can get them out quicker when it's hometime. I live in the country, but our village isn't strewn with shit of any description Grin.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 13/12/2016 21:31

I really don't understand the shoes on concept. The carpets must be terribly grimy and stained. We went somewhere there were free roaming deer, and dd trod in deer poo as it was everywhere. Would people really be happy to then have those same trainers traipsing about on the living room carpet?!

ShatnersBassoon · 13/12/2016 21:35

I have wooden and tiled floors only downstairs. There's Zoflora for deer shit.

Children tend to take their shoes off automatically, knowing that they're probably mucky, will be stopping a while and that they will go upstairs/put their feet on the furniture.

MollyHuaCha · 13/12/2016 21:38

I expect guests to remove shoes. I keep a stash of hotel freebie slippers to offer guests. Regulars get their name written inside so they always get the same pair!

Shallishanti · 13/12/2016 21:39

can someone post a link to artisanal slippers please they sound interesting Grin

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 13/12/2016 21:47

No shoe rules here. People have enough sense to think about if their shoes are clean enough from the car, or mucky from walking round the woods. Our floors are draughty, and the previous owner had several dogs, so the ancient hall carpet wasn't the cleanest when we moved in (despite cleaning it in the first week). Shoes off isn't terribly comfortable to impose on people, especially crammed into the entrance. I also find it would be impractical to impose in the summer when children are free flowing in and out of the garden (especially as I can't wear slip ons so all shoes are faffy)

I'm always bemused at the suggestion of guest slippers. I doubt anyone really has a stock of size 1 and 11 slippers ready for me and DH popping round.

The most gross moments my carpets have experienced have been entirely due to my young children in their days of poonamis and toilet training fails.

MistresssIggi · 13/12/2016 21:52

Somewhat you sound far too reasonable for this thread!

1horatio · 13/12/2016 21:55

We have washable slippers for guests and personalized slippers for frequent visitors. The only one that complains is MIL...

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