Page 20 | I don't want to lie to my kid about Santa

gannett · 30/09/2021 07:44

@ACubed

Yes I found it 'magical ' to feel like I knew more and was less gullible than the other kids (yes I was a bit of an arsehold when I was young!)

Ha I felt exactly like this. I was a know-it-all child who was probably quite annoying.

I worked out that Santa wasn't real pretty much immediately and never felt I'd been robbed of anything magic. Plenty of magic in the real world. Plenty of magic in fiction too, knowing something isn't real doesn't rob it of that.

It doesn't matter whether you tell your kids about Santa. If they believe they're not going to be scarred when they find out the truth. If they don't believe their childhood hasn't been stolen. The parents who turn those scenarios into the above dramas are the most annoying aspects of it all.

ComDummings · 30/09/2021 07:45

🧟‍♀️ 🧟‍♂️ 🧟

malificent7 · 30/09/2021 07:46

I think that's a bit silly op.

knittingaddict · 30/09/2021 07:54

We felt the same way op.

We just didn't "do" FC. We didn't say he existed one way or another until they asked. They are adults now and it's still their favourite time of year and they love Christmas. There's still lots that is magical about it.

We had one incident with a neighbour's child who believed a bit longer than some and my children letting the cat out of the bag, but that happens anyway at some point.

Our daughter has done FC with her children and we've gone along with that. Everyone makes their own choices and we aren't complete ogres. The 7 year old has decided over the last year that he doesn't exist.

Hope that helps op. Haven't read the posts, but I can imagine the horror that has been expressed at the very idea.

knittingaddict · 30/09/2021 07:56

@HarlanPepper

Z O M B I E T H R E A D

So I see.

Why, oh why do people do that.

Mybalconyiscracking · 30/09/2021 07:57

I was thinking “Oh not again!” But it’s a zombie thread.

Lalliella · 30/09/2021 08:12

@timeforachangeofname OP please come back and tell us if you’ve got kids now and if you lied to them about Santa

CityMumma78 · 30/09/2021 08:13

Sorry but what a peculiar thing to worry about!!! It’s not lying it’s giving your children the gift of magic! If you take that away then you are not a good parent and actually very cruel.

FaceForRadio1973 · 30/09/2021 08:27

I know this is a zombie thread, but I was interested in a comment made about parents only telling their children that it was them who bought presents so that they would be grateful....

I'm going to suggest that parents should tell their children that they buy the big presents, and Santa brings stocking fillers etc.

Otherwise little Johnny is going to believe that Santa doesn't love him as much as little Jane as she got a brand new X Station Switch, and all he got was a jigsaw....

As for not existing, I bloody hope he does, as I am helping to run trains to see him in December. Unless that means that I can go to the pub instead?

SallSall · 30/09/2021 08:53

It is a cultural thing in some countries. My family (counrty of birth) doesnt celebrate Santa, my husbands does. Our children were not raised on the Santa clause story, but understood the intent and that it was special for others. At the end of the day kids will mingle with non Santa believing families, just do what works for your family.

Couchbettato · 30/09/2021 08:56

I would teach them that Santa isn't a person, but a spirit of Christmas.

Santa is the personification of the giving spirit, and he makes Christmas magical and wonderful and is every bit as real as someone chooses for him to be.

Then I'd ask if they'd like you to use Santa in your celebrations, or if they'd prefer for everything to come from mum and dad.

Enko · 30/09/2021 09:01

I grew up in Scandinavia Father Christmas brought 1 present that was it. When I twigged this was a bit too much for one person to do in one evening. I spoke to my dad who said.

Father Christmas as a person is not real no. But what he stands for. Being loving giving and kind to each other that is real and that is inside all off us and we can help each other to bring that out every day of the year.

So Father Christmas to me even in my 50 is real. But then I value kindness and I value care and I value the ability to give (not just materialistic) for me those are the attributes that makes humans the strongest.

For those who says stuff like I will encourage my children to "stick it to the man" all I read is lack of kindness understanding and giving. To me that reads for a bleak future for humans.

If you don't want to use Father Christmas then don't. However accept others do and teach your child the kindness of behaving well with others and teach them to be giving and loving in respecting what others do and believe I without forcing their view as the gospel truth.

There is room for both believers and non belivers as long as we are respectful of one another.

Thehop · 30/09/2021 09:10

We do this

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.upworthy.com/amp/theres-a-brilliant-heartfelt-way-to-tell-your-kids-the-truth-about-santa-take-notes-2637355849

fluffythedragonslayer · 30/09/2021 09:21

Ah, the plans we make when we don't have kids yet 😁

fluffythedragonslayer · 30/09/2021 09:24

Ugh Zombie. Sorry!

WoodchipNightmares · 30/09/2021 09:28

My mother took the same attitude as you about not wanting to lie to me about Santa. My dad's side of the family rather put their foot down - but she told me the truth at age 5.

Looking back I think it was a pretty bloody miserable attitude to have.

SofiaMichelle · 30/09/2021 09:29

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Beautiful3 · 30/09/2021 09:59

My mum brought me up with the truth. There is no Father Christmas. We didn't celebrate it. I remember feeling quite sad, when other children my age were excitedly chattering about christmas. I wished I believed in that little bit of magic. I have pretended that santa is real to both of my children. They realised themselves around age 8, that he isn't real. They questioner me, " is he real?" I replied that if he wasn't real, how would they feel? If they said fine, I told them the truth. However the youngest said she would be sad, so in that case I continued to pretend he was real. Recently, the youngest asked again, she said that the answer would not upset her. I told her the truth. They're both happy to know the truth, they had fun believing in magic and know not to spoil it for others. Little children have amazing imaginations, to believe in something magical for a short while is lovely. As long as you tell them the truth before secondary school! The world is a depressing place already, let the children believe.

Mummyratbag · 30/09/2021 10:50

I know this is a zombie but...

I'm quite old and I still feel a bit of magic in the air on Christmas Eve/Day even though I know I have spent all of December buying and wrapping the damn pressies..

Even as a teenager I would love waking up to a lumpy stocking that Mum had put out without me knowing! I think most kids have a slow dawning of the truth, but often don't want it confirmed (unless they ask) ..my teen son, although he knows, still loves to put out a mince pie with his younger brother.. I don't know anyone that has been damaged by believing in Santa.

suspiria777 · 30/09/2021 11:40

@timeforachangeofname

I don't feel comfortable lying to my future kids about Santa, but I don't want them to ruin it for everyone else either. Has anyone managed to bring their child up not believing in Santa, without them ruining it for believers, or am I going to have to lie to them for the sake of others?

You could tell your kids they're Jewish. It's what my parents did (but we are Jewish).

Sugarplumfairy65 · 30/09/2021 11:52

@PurpleDaisies

You know exactly what I mean 00100001.

The adults who are bending over backwards to get their children to believe in Father Christmas freely acknowledge that he does not exist. It's not the same as belief in god.

Isn't it. Me and many others think its just the same. Both are fantasy characters in books. The only difference is that Santa brings you and religion brings persecution

HiJenny35 · 30/09/2021 12:55

I'm not sure what you would be lying about, Santa based upon Saint nic, traditions built up over time about him giving gifts to children, some families believe in this and some don't. There's lots of santas that work in shops, visit schools, they aren't the original santa and literally a sign of him, I'm not sure why your child would need to "tell" the other children anything unless you explain it in a "they believe it but it's not true their parents make it up" manner, but yes that would make you unreasonable. You wouldn't do that about a religious group, "they believe in God or Allah but its not true their parents make it up" you'd just say some families believe this and they have sweets and presents at divial or visit church on palm Sunday but our family doesn't follow that tradition so we can watch it and enjoy it but we don't do that. Typically kids are only obnoxious and go into school purposely telling other kids "it's not true my mum told me" when their parents have positioned it in a eye rolling, I won't lie to you sweetie you deserve to know the truth, manner. No need for your child to say anything other than "my family don't celebrate santa" which is what you are deciding. We have lots of Muslim pupils who don't celebrate Christmas or santa and manage not to spoil the enjoyment of the other kids as parents have explained they don't celebrate it. But don't go around feeling superior about it, the whole, I don't lie to my kids is deluded, making up enjoyable make believe situations for children to use their imagination and consider fairies and magical flying reindeer isn't harming and to be honest you'd be the parent given a wide birth in the playground.