To wonder what you do if you're a SAHM

[aquabluepool]

I just find the days so, so long. And lonely. DH often doesn't get back till 7 o clock.

Yes there's baby groups but not that many. Two a week. And I don't really like them but I will go.

Have you seen a doctor and been told you don't have pnd?

Aqua, I Have no idea if you have PND or not - but what I do know is that you are struggling and that might be for a million and one reasons (some I mentioned above).

Do you think there is something wrong or do you think it is ok to feel like you do? Do you know what it is? Could a GP help?

Op, sorry if my previous post was harsh. I was managed out of my MSc a few months after having DS, I had a couple of down days, but then I got on with it.

I didn't love my DS the moment he was born, tbh I got to three months before I realised he was the most amazing thing on the planet, and I probably had mild pnd but it didn't feel like it at the time. You do seem to need to talk, it's why you started this thread.

I think you need a GP appointment this week. Book one first thing tomorrow. Just go and explain how you are feeling. It may be the case that nothing is wrong, but it may just help to say things out loud to an unbiased person.

Do you want to elaborate on why you want out of your marriage?

Can I ask if the pregnancy was planned? Why did you want children if so?

You sound like you need a big hug. Parenting isn't easy. I hope things get easier for you.

In the short term, can you timetable your days? Keep it school like?

You seem very convinced you don't have any form of depression. It's incredibly common you know.

I know. But I also know I don't have it, I just can't love properly.

My 3yo only tantrums if I try to get a coat or jumper on her. And actually I admire her strength of will and consistency on the matter
I have amazing conversations with my 5yo that stretch my teaching subject skills to the limit as she asks questions that I struggle to explain in a way she will understand. And try to explain what makes jokes funny (that one really hurt my head!).
But then I also think my 4 month old is bloody cute and when he laughs and smiles at me it just makes my day. He wriggles his whole body like puppies do when they are overenthusiastic ally wagging their tails. And if you are not feeling any of that, then yes something is wrong. Depression can be just greyness and not seeing a way out or numbness.

I think I understand.

Would you like to learn how to love aqua? You sound like a pretty switched on woman, Im sure you could.

Thanks, shakey.

You can't, roll

Well that's very sad. I'd like to think that you can, but you know yourself best. I'm sure your DC loves you.

What would you like to get out of this thread?

Does it matter?

No not all - unless it does to you.

I think you were telling me I shouldn't post, and I will. I don't really care what you think.

How would you like your life to be?

How does it feel to know your baby will love you very much?

I don't think kids are like your list. My youngest is 5 years and we have great conversations. Neither were tantrum toddlers either

Oh sorry, I didn't mean that at all! Please don't stop posting.

I just think you are struggling and the people on here (well me) want to say the right thing to you, there might be something that you want to talk about.

Why are you still with husband if you don't like him?

Yeah I didn't think I was depressed either.

Then it lifted (gradually) and I realised I had been.

I'm not saying you are depressed, I couldn't possibly know. But the way you sound - like everything is awful and impossible - is the way I felt then. And I was adamant I wasn't depressed, I was just shit at everything.

He won't, which is really why I'm dreading him getting older.

Art I never know what to say to children.

Sorry, Roll, probably being a bit over sensitive.

Why am I still with my husband, because I hate being a parent, and it's worse being a parent alone, because if I left I'd have no job, home, car, money, anything, because he's all I've really got.

Actually I think Roll was asking a good question.
You started the thread asking what SAHMs do, and we all answered with what helps us not to feel so lonely and bored and isolated, as implied in your OP.
And obviously the thread has moved on as threads do. And it seems that you might have something more important that you are trying to talk about, which we are not really getting. And that maybe the OP was just a surface level opener.?

Name, to be honest it is helping to BE honest, but that's never enough

Sorry xposted with loads - typing one handed while feeding The Baby Who Won't Sleep

Hey, it's a start. You feel how you feel, I get it. And it feels pretty hopeless.
And lonely and so, so tiring. Have a hug, because you sound like you really really need one.

I promise, and please believe me, it can get better.

Thank you, I hope so :)