To wonder what you do if you're a SAHM

[aquabluepool]

I just find the days so, so long. And lonely. DH often doesn't get back till 7 o clock.

Yes there's baby groups but not that many. Two a week. And I don't really like them but I will go.

I do supply snd have two dcs. Works fine. I have two days I Am available and the dcs go to childcare. It can be a pain as very occasionally I pay for childcare when I ve got no work but our current childminder doesn't charge if dd doesn't go which was her suggestion so that's very lucky.

I make a tiny profit after paying for two lots of childcare but it's totally worth it for me as I couldn't stay at home everyday with my dcs.

Yes that's the problem m paying for childcare and no work.

I don't understand why you can't look for another part time job? You would earn more as a teacher than the childcare would cost. You are being super negative and turning down all reasonable options. You could easily do one evening a week, your sh goes to the gym. I think maybe you are depressed especially where you say you are dreading your child walking and talking, that's a terribly sad thing to say.

There aren't many part time teaching positions.

It happens very rarely to me. 99% of the time I get work and get paid. Perhaps you could try and have someone who will only charge if dc goes and then you don't have that problem. Even if I do have a few days out of pocket I always make a profit overall for the month/term so it doesn't really matter.

Ds is now having the free hours, although we do have to top up these, so it's really not too bad if I don't get work as I only pay the top up and dd doesn't go to childminder.

Surely your mental health and hating being a SAHM is more important than occasionally perhaps being out of pocket on the odd day?

We can't take the risk as things will just be too tight.

I had more work than I wanted last year doing supply. They were booking me weeks in advance and practically begging me to do more days a week. One advantage of the retention crisis is that if you're any good schools will be desperate to have you in as supply.

I'm not sure I'm any good :) but I don't think it's quite as abundant here.

You're dreading your child walking and talking?

That's one of the saddest things I've heard in a long time. I advise you to go and see your gp and see about getting some therapy.

That was a specific answer to someone saying children get more interesting as they get older.

If you're a teacher I don't really understand why you can't go back to work. If the job you're in paid for childcare then surely the next one will pay the same.

I understand though that it is hard sometimes to see the light sometimes but in all honesty I think you'd be better off working even if you have to find a full time position for a while before trying to cut down your hours at a later stage.

I agree with yummy about you working being good for your mental health. If you really feel you can't do supply, can you spend time when you're off sorting out your CV and perhaps looking into online courses or similar if you feel that you need to acquire more skills to improve your chances. Were you always part time or did you reduce hours after your maternity leave?

Reduced hours after maternity.

My job just covered childcare really. But it was that I liked my school.

Would you consider full time again?

Yes but it's unlikely really

There's not that many but why not look for one at least?!
And could you do 11+ tutoring (depends if relevant in your area)? Or if secondary there's usually opportunities to tutor one on one or in tuition centers, depending on subject.
I think maybe a Gp visit also, you're very down on things including yourself.

I have to stay at home. SEN kids (autism times three), a husband whose work is completely unpredictable hours and one of us had to be here. I can't pretend it's the choice i'd have made if all were equal (for a bit maybe, youngest is eight now) and it is lonely often. There are options though- studying, from home if needed (I did a part time post grad), voluntary work (again, can sometimes be done from home). Being at home when you don't necessarily want to be can drain your confidence and I think it's important to look at options other than work if you can.

No, no 11+ and I don know any tuition centres. Have looked. We'll see.

It's quite unusual op to dread your child walking and talking. I love my own kids despite not finding other people's interesting at all.

It sounds like you need to work part time for your sanity.

Well we are all different waterrat

One of my teacher friends has just got a part time job working for a hospital school - tutoring kids that can't attend school due to illness. Might be worth looking into.

Otherwise subbing/supply work can give a pretty regular income if thats what you're worried about, I understand about the childcare element - I'm a shift worker myself.

My days at the mo consist of school run x 2, shopping/cleaning/errands/cooking, see friends once or twice a week, afternoon play date once a week or less. I'm on dc3 so do baby groups only occasionally but I do go to soft play, swimming etc

Don't write us older mums off 😄 I'm 38 but have older and younger friends.

Hmmmmm

Not sure what to suggest! You're obviously not happy with the situation but there is loads to do, and you do need to persevere and get to know people a bit better before topics at baby groups change from babies, it is just the common ground for everyone there. I'm a SAHM and I'm the same age as you and I guess you just get into a bit of a routine and fill any spare time you have with things you like to do.

You seem to be shooting down suggestions without even finding out if they work.
You are coming across as a bit snotty.
I think the first thing I would do is go to the doctor