To wonder what you do if you're a SAHM

[aquabluepool]

I just find the days so, so long. And lonely. DH often doesn't get back till 7 o clock.

Yes there's baby groups but not that many. Two a week. And I don't really like them but I will go.

Is there a reason you are being a stay at home mum if you don't like it?

I've found the baby groups get more enjoyable as your little one gets more interactive - it won't be much longer and they will be properly playing with you and the other babies there. We get out of the house every day - to baby groups, swimming, park, library or to friends with toddlers. Mush is an excellent app, but also be a bit more pushy than you usually are with real life mums. Ask the mum who looks nicest at baby group to come to coffee at your house, and see how it goes.

We read lots of library books, do things like drawing with felt tips. Let my babies watch me do jobs, let them 'help' me. When they're grumpy or bored I often put them in the bath to play. We have TV and we sing songs. Preparing, eating and cleaning up after meals seems to take up a lot of time. I walk miles with the buggy.

I'm having to leave my job, so am going to have to be a SAHM.

Can't you get another job OP if you don't want to be SAHM?

I used to walk to the supermarket every day to buy that night's dinner rather than doing a big shop once a week. It gave my day a bit of purpose. Once DS was walking I bought a season ticket to a local wildlife park and we used to hang about there a fair bit. It does get better as they get older.

Not really. I am having to leave with pretty much immediate effect, and any other job wouldn't cover the cost of childcare.

Drink gin

Shag the tennis coach

Get my nails and hair done

It's all go go good

In the early days, I forced myself to get out of the house every day. One thing per day was usually enough to keep me from getting too bored or depressed! I met some mums at baby groups and cafes and arranged to meet them either at mine or theirs. Staying at home all day is hellish imo. Also, make the most of being able to go to cafes and stuff, meet people or just take baby as your lunch date :)

Why do you have to leave? Redundancy?

It gets easier when your DC gets older and can do more interesting things.

In the meantime - find a baby group or activity to go to daily to give yourself structure - most churches will run a baby/toddler and mum group, children's centres often have things like 'stay and play', singing groups at the library are often good. Get a routine and see if you can meet other SAHMs or PT working mums with similar aged DC who you get on with, that makes it a lot easier (particularly in school holidays where most baby groups stop as halls are needed for older children activities/the people running the groups have to look after older DCs).

When I was SAHM 17 years ago with my 1st of 4 children, I also felt quite lonely, and clicked with a few Mums from Mum & baby group, but meetings were a bit of a competition over who did things first, etc. like others, I loved it best when getting outdoors Loved going for long walks with pram, sometimes with others, going to library, parks, coffee shops, on trains trams and buses taking baby out for adventures (live in Australia). Your 10month old will adore you being around for each day to have adventures, around the home with pots and pans & wooden spoon, & crawling inside & out, getting messy every way possible!!

The world is such a magical place for your 10 month old child, and exploring everything is so much fun when you have a Mum or Dad by your side as a safe base.

Having said that you need 'Me' time every day-whether training for a run & running book club when husband home as another Mum said, or whatever makes you happy when you are not being just Mum/partner, but just being you.

Am now dealing with a 17 year old handsome young man who is totally in love with his 16 y. o girlfriend & they are asking for sleepovers so having discussions ...

oh and round here, church groups are usually 50p or £1 (you'll get a brew in that price, then the rest goes on buying toys) - they are rarely very religious. Childrens centre activities/groups and library ones are usually free.

So is that it then, baby groups basically?

DierdrePewtey :) :)
Will be having a few gins myself tonight

One thing I did, which really helped, was write on a load of lollipop sticks ALL potential activities at home and nearby. So when I'm loosendish I can take one out at random for inspiration.

Examples include : sandpit dinosaurs, making dens, sofa cushion soft play, tea party, train track, Lego, local soft play, cafe, park, park#2, cathedral, pet shop, walk, football, swimming, library, fish shop, making cakes, decorating biscuits, play dough, painting, museum, bus trip, watch the trains....
Etc

If you have a long think and just write them all down you can look back at the list when you're in need :)

Suggest you get some improvements done to your house. You can shag the builder as well then.

Deirdre do you feel good now?

I have good hair and nails. And a full sex life.

It's the hardest job I've ever had!

I've got a 3yr old and a 18 month old with sn tho!

I miss coffee breaks and peeing along

Find out where all baby friendly venues are in your area and go on adventures? Galleries, castles, farms museums are often free for babies, so enjoy...

Yes, but you're still alone?

Those days can be long. I used to try and get stuff organized for the week- so swimming every day and then library 3 times a week- they usually had a craft time after story and i gradually met people as the years went by.

Then at home I would do an hour outside with sand toys/mud kitchen and then inside for a session then walk to the park and meet up with someone. Zoo visits/museum visits/ waterplay visits- I just mixed it up so I had variety over a month period.
Just try and break your week up. I returned to work and I look back wistfully. I do think it is really a positive thing for your child to have you home if you can swing it that way for as long as you can. But you do need to create your own rythm as the days are indeed long-my husband got back between 7 and 9 each night and I remember that longing for some adult company by 5 pm.
Just research everything you can do and make a little schedule-you can always not do teh thing if your week ends up too busy.

I understand OP do keep going to the toddler groups as it's a break in the day and gets you out. I keep going even when I really can't be bothered and don't feel like making conversation; I do find once I'm out I feel more upbeat and probably also once I've had a bit of caffeine i.e a cuppa, it also means when we're out we've got the chance to walk in the fields/park or go the town and window shop. So much better in the summer though, the winter days drag. When we are home it can get monotonous. I try to get out every day for at least a couple of hours and I find the toddler groups are a good way of doing that especially in winter...

Could you put dc in to a creche for a few hours.Recharge your batteries and get stuff done with no interruption.