Short men

[luellami]

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

Why would a man post that on mumsnet except to get a rise?

Whoa! The op asked if she was being a twat. She actually used the word in her post and I get deleted?!?

WTF mumsnetHQ do you actually think about deleting comments or does everything that is reported get deleted without consideration? Genuine question.

Toad do you mean the comment about small breasted women?

Easily. The thread could go just as this one has.

'I have been in a relationship for 5 months with a really nice woman but she's really flat chested. When I first dated her she was wearing padded bras and I had no idea until we went to bed and I was shocked and disappointed as I am a boob man. I like her a lot but I can't fancy her undressed. would I be unreasonable to break it off with her unless she agrees to get a boob job for me? I just can't see myself being content with a flat chested woman my whole life, it's a turn off. Sorry if that sounds shallow, but it's how I feel.'

I really doubt many women would be very tolerant of other blokes coming on to say 'yeah mate, I struggle with flat chested women too, not only is it unattractive and unfeminine but they all have self confidence issues over it and spend their whole lives bleating about it and getting all needy and insecure if they think I've looked twice at someone with great tits.'

Oh God, can you IMAGINE how a thread like that would go?

But should women wish to say they can't cope with short men or small penises it's open house and fair game and they are entitled to have their preferences and needs met.

I think only one pp said men that are shorter have issues. it hasn't been a thread full of 'oh yeah short men are sooooo annoying/rude/whatever'. You need to RTFT going on about double standards rubbish. Op can't help who she finds attractive!

I am not just talking about whether they have issues or not, I am talking about the sheer amount of people who have said they won't date short men and don't find them attractive. And we all know about the old cliche / stereotype of 'short man syndrome.'

Of course everyone is entitled to find any physical characteristic attractive or unattractive. But I am just saying that a similar thread about fat women, flat chested women, women with loose or ugly fannies etc, etc would absolutely not be tolerated in the same way on MN as threads like this are, and if the OP had been a man complaining about a physical shortcoming in an otherwise perfectly lovely partner he'd been with for FIVE WHOLE MONTHS he'd be called out for being a shallow misogynist cunt, not told 'you can't help who fancy.'

And if the OP has been with him for 5 months quite happily, then she really is just focusing on his height for purely shallow reasons. How do you get to be with someone for that long if you genuinely could not find them attractive from the beginning? It doesn't make sense. She obviously does find him attractive, but has this belief that she shouldn't, because he's not 'perfect' so she's considering overriding and ignoring the fact that she finds him attractive in spite of his height, in favour of looking for someone who fits her tick box idea of the 'ideal standard' man.

So let's hope she's a total knockout herself with no minor flaws, and the next guy she falls head over heels for doesn't ditch her after a few months because in piste of having a great time together her tits aren't completely symmetrical or her skin isn't clear enough.

in spite, not in piste!

self I do agree with you re the 5 months, but I had already said that earlier in the thread.

As far as men saying the same thing, the opposite of what the op is saying would be a man saying 'I've met this woman she's really great but she's quite tall. She's 5 11. Im not sure I can get over it... '

As a woman of that height I wouldn't be offended by that, but yes it doesn't take 5 months to figure out.

If women piled on this thread and said 'oh yes op I'm with you they are all spiteful little cunts I can't be doing with short arses!!!', I would be more inclined to agree with you. But the majority have said 'You like who you like... But you shouldn't have strung him along' (paraphrased obviously)

It's your life.
He is not going to get any taller
If the only downside to him is that he is the same height as you then I'd be careful what you wish for.
Do you come across as shallow?yes but then what is an anonymous Internet forum for?

This is so depressing to read. Why on earth would height matter? My husband is 5'6 and I'm 6', I no more wanted to ditch him for being short that he wanted to get rid of me for being tall. I also had (pre-DC) no boobs, have thunder thighs and a big nose. He didn't dump me for those either and I saw past his imperfections. Agree with PP, huge double standards on Mumsnet.

Well I must be mad because I've been rejected twice already in the last five days, but I clicked very well with some guy on line last night. Again. That part is not new. Meeting tomorrow. He's 5'7" which in online language means 5.5" I think. Although the last guy I met who said he was 5'7" really was 5'7"

Height does matter for me. I'm 5'11" and all the men in my family are 6'3"+. I am not physically attracted to short men. Thats fine. We all have a type! I'm also not generally attracted to blonde men (pale eyelashes freak me out), or 'pretty' men, or muscly men. It's just a preference.

But to be fair i wouldn't have even had a date with a short man. I know i know im shallow, but why would i when its a dealbreaker for me?

If you cant get past it you need to finish it

JE678 agree

I think op hasn't fallen in love with him if the height is still an issue after 5 months.

I've sometimes not fancied a guy on first glance but have done when I've got to know him and fallen for him.

Probably best to let him go.

applesandpears would you expect it to be love after 5 months though?

Sorry I mean isn't that a bit early in a relationship for love anyway?

Yawn at the same old stuff being trotted out to shame women for being attracted to physical characteristics! Breast size and weight are always wheeled out as comparisons then disregarded as they can be changed. Body shape (length of legs, broadness of shoulders and hips, curves or lack of them), height, facial features, voice, posture and many more are all part of what we find attractive.

But to be fair i wouldn't have even had a date with a short man. I know i know im shallow, but why would i when its a dealbreaker for me?

That is absolutely fine. I have no issue with that, especially as you are tall. It's a shame we should still have this thing about men needing to be taller and protective over the 'little helpless woman' but there were are, it's a hangover from our neanderthal days and I am glad to say that lots of couples are deliriously happy and in lust with one another and pay no attention to the 'rules' about who should be biggest or tallest.

What I do have an issue with is someone who spends 5 whole months with a man, agrees to date him in the first place so she can't have been all that repelled by his lack of stature, finds him to be a really great partner with the potential to make her happy in the long term and then has this massive crisis of confidence over something so......unimportant and meaningless.

Women saddle themselves with totally shit and abusive partners all the time and put up with all sorts of crap just to stay in a relationship and here is a nice decent guy doing everything right, and he's going to be dumped for something the OP knew he was all along and that he has no control over.

I think op hasn't fallen in love with him if the height is still an issue after 5 months.

I think so too. At least I hope so. The height thing has to be a red herring. Either that or she is an utter idiot. I know I keep banging on about this but I don't understand how you end up in a relationship with someone you just don't fancy.

I do agree with you on that part self

I can't imagine it taking anyone 5 months to figure out they aren't into someone, especially if they know they are into taller men anyway.

Breast size and weight are always wheeled out as comparisons

And anyone who did would, quite rightly, be called out on MN. Short men, however, are fair game here.

Bit only one person has had a dig at short men on this thread and they were quickly put in their place. Where is all the short men bashing?! It's mostly been women saying 'my dh is 5 ft 7 and he's awesome'- why the drama?

It's not comparable to breast size anyway, the antithesis is tall women, surely?!

Short men are not attractive to many women. Only on MN would this be seen as something those women should feel ashamed of.

I don't fancy short men. I just don't. I am 5'3 so aware this is slightly ridiculous but I can't help it.

I wouldn't blame a man who only fancied large or small breasted women either.

I would however be a bit at someone who dated a person for 5 months before deciding a physical characteristic that had been perfectly obvious from day 1 was a deal breaker.

Everythinng Selfcleaningvagina said.