Short men

[luellami]

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

I'm 5' 4 and I once dated a guy the same height as me. The height did put me off a little but the real issue (for me - it was 100% my issue) was the fact that he was also very slim and I'm a size 16 so I felt like a hippo next to him. It was really difficult to feel sexy so it didn't last.

I know I keep banging on about this but I don't understand how you end up in a relationship with someone you just don't fancy.

It happens. Some people feel more comfortable being with someone (even someone they don't especially fancy) rather than being alone.

OP let him down gently and move on. And next time don't feel obliged to stay with someone just because you feel you should like them. There's nothing wrong with only fancying tall men/muscular men/chubby hairy men whatever. Go find someone you like!

And anyone who did would, quite rightly, be called out on MN. Short men, however, are fair game here.

Fair game for what? Should we all lie and say we find short men attractive? I can't help what I find attractive. I wouldn't find a morbidly obese man attractive. I wouldn't find a man attractive if he had really bad teeth, and even more shallow, I wouldn't find a man attractive if he wore trainers as every day foot wear.

We all have out preferences. I don't think anyone here has done anything wrong in stating those preferences. A lot of men won't find my small boobs attractive, my stretch marks and certainly not my stomach after five children. It really doesn't matter.

Yes he deserves someone who loves him for everything, you knew he was this height when you met him he hasn't suddenly srunk.

I don't understand women who won't even think about dating a man shorter than them.

I'm 6ft 1 and have only ever dated 1 man taller than me,he was a twat wasn't impressed that I then married my next boyfriend and have been together 21 years he is 5.5(and a half) doesn't bother me or him in the slightest everything fits together when lying down 6 kids together proves that!!!!

Exactly U2 I'm sure I've been passed over loads of times because he just wasn't that into me physically. And that's fine! As long as someone isn't a dick and says 'your body doesn't do it for me' what does it matter?

Of course we all have our preferences! Totally normal. I couldn't date a guy with blonde eyelashes, they give me the creeps!

I don't fancy slim short men. Even if their face is lovely. I just can't do it.

My DH is massive. 48 inch chest, broad shoulders, 6 ft 3, he is built like a rugby player, and that for me is a huge turn on.

I am only 5 ft 2. I have big boobs and DH has said in the past, that's what first attracted him to me. So what? Meh.

itfc that's fine as it works for you

I couldn't have gone out with someone shorter than me, I am a tall woman like yourself. I'm not going to apologise or feel guilty like that.

And all the women coming on saying 'oh I went out with a tall guy he was a twat but all the short ones have been lovely'... Is that not just exactly the same thing in reverse?! My husband is 6 ft 5 and isn't a twat

Let's face it, on these threads 90% of responses usually go "oooh no I couldn't date someone shorter than me". I agree there's no point forcing it if you don't fancy something but I do think it's worth asking why not fancying short men isn't equally distributed like preferring blond / dark-haired / hairy / bald men is.

I think if you're Ms. Average doing OLD, filtering out the shorter man is shooting yourself in the foot because there's so much less competition for the nice short man than for the nice tall man.

But plastic what's the point in NOT filtering out the 'shorter' men, meeting someone then realising 'oh wait... I DONT FANCY shorter men/ men shorter than me'?!

As a broad and tall woman I would feel unfeminine and quite frankly a bit silly if I was dating a particularly slender and short man. I can't help how I feel.

FizzBomb My ex was 6 foot 2 and for a long time I thought tall men were my thing. I was spectacularly unsuccessful OLDing for a few years filtering out short men, then decided as I was getting nowhere I needed to broaden my horizons (after all I'm not all that and a bag of chip myself if I'm honest!). I dopped the height filter and lo and behold, three shorter men later and I met DH. My point in my previous post is - and this is just idle musing, not hard science - maybe more of us would fancy short men if social pressure didn't tell us we shouldn't, for fairly obvious bullshit sexist reasons about strong men and ickle women.

Im only 5'2" and it seems like there are a disproportionately high number of 6 foot two men on line. Which is too tall for me. I feel like we look like a comedy duo. It is like a gym move to kiss. I feel like tall women are cursing me. But most of the messages i get are from talk men.

Cannot. Understand. It.

Universe, please send me somebody fabulous between 5'7"" & 5.10"!!!

You're quite possibly right with regards to what we are conditioned to believe is traditionally handsome/ attractive in men plastic. I agree with you there. But im coming from the perspective of a much taller than average woman. Maybe that skews my opinion slightly. Incidentally my husband is the tallest man I have ever gone out with and I ended up marrying him. Fwiw his height was not the only thing that drew me to him!! He is also a very kind and funny person and very generous and loving. But his height and looks were a factor in finding him attractive initially.

Plastic. I agree. Dated so many tall men now im looking for a genuine connection with a man who'll value me. Not rulingcout tall men but definitely not consciously seeking tallness at the 3xpense of an easy rapport.

My OH is 5ft 8 and extremely strong! (Though I am not ickle and wee and helpless.)

I feel like we look like a comedy duo.

I'm 5' 4 and DH is 6' 3, we don't look like a comedy duo! But I laugh about the fact that when I'm the "big spoon", I look like a human backpack

Well, I am almost 5 ft 2 and my DH is 6 ft 3, and we definitely don't look like a comedy duo, lol.

I once dated a guy who was 6ft 7. Every single time I popped to the ladies, other women would chat him up. Like moths to a flame. He actually was a prize twat who needed viagra to get it up.

Selfcleaning I agree 100 percent. I'm sure there are men's chat sites that suggest all women should be size 8 and have the dimensions of Emily Ratjakowski, but I wouldn't expect them to have the cerebral leanings of a site like MN. Do people really discount partners based upon things like shoes, height etc.?

Do people really discount partners based upon things like shoes, height etc.?

Not shoes but height yes. I'm just not attracted to short men. Never have been. I don't feel guilty about this.

I would find someone of 6' 7' too lanky to be attractive I think. They might have those really creepy long fingers and toes. Uurgh. And as for women who really fancy those thick necked beefy bears of men, like rugby props, I would fear that if I had daughters with them they'd grow up to look like Miss Trunchbull or one of those enormous Russian shotputters from the 1970s.

I prefer regular and average shaped and sized people - nothing too extreme in either direction.

Fair enough Madame. I genuinely can't get my head around going primarily for looks, as over the years I've been attracted to James Gandolfini, Damian Lewis, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Paxman etc. Although I suppose that charisma and an implication of power are my bias. Same thing, different rules :)

To be honest height is the only common feature that the men I’ve been with share. Everything else is up for grabs.

I get that everyone has preferences and I am not saying everyone should be attracted to short men. But the OP presented it like that was the only objectionable thing about this guy, and you have to figure she knows a lot about him at this stage.

Someone meeting a short man and deciding they're not attracted to them? Fine in my book.

Someone deciding that a lot of good characteristics are not enough to override their height after knowing the individual for five months? Puzzling to me.

Fair game for what? Should we all lie and say we find short men attractive? I can't help what I find attractive. I wouldn't find a morbidly obese man attractive. I wouldn't find a man attractive if he had really bad teeth, and even more shallow, I wouldn't find a man attractive if he wore trainers as every day foot wear

All those things can be changed. Except height.

Heightism is the last acceptable ism. It's no better than racism for me. That doesn't mean that you can't find someone who is really short unattractive but it's not really any better than deciding someone is unattractive because of their skin colour. So I'd keep it to yourself.

I would find someone of 6' 7' too lanky to be attractive I think

See?! You wouldn't go out with a TALL man. All the more tall blokes for us tall worshippers

It sounds like its a deal breaker for you OP and if you aren't the type of person who cant see past something as small as that then let him loose. He does deserve someone better your right. Lets hope no one ever dumps you for your "imperfections"