Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 11 12

Original poster

Short men

296 replies

luellami · 11/12/2016 15:41

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 11/12/2016 20:05

BTW I have had men who weren't attracted to me due to being small chested.. yes I have been told.

I don't care.

I also have very short and a tiny teen boys. They will find people who don't find their build an issue.

Dementedswan · 11/12/2016 20:06

I hope none of you with height issues have sons! Why is it acceptable to be under 5'6' and female but males have to be over 5'11'?

Having sons who are on 10th cenrule and are already being bullied for their height at age 6 and 5 I find this very sad and emotive.

And yes my sons at the tender age of 6 and 5 are aware. They will probably grow up to with a complex despite my best efforts. We are grown ups and still being prejudiced, why are people allowed to do that on height but not skin colour?

CocktailQueen · 11/12/2016 20:08

Wow, op, you're shallow.

Hope nobody ever judges you on an aspect of your looks you can do nothing about.

DorindaJ · 11/12/2016 20:09

ooh Bonnie have you got a death wish?

Sallystyle · 11/12/2016 20:17

I hope none of you with height issues have sons! Why is it acceptable to be under 5'6' and female but males have to be over 5'11'?

Like I said.. I do have sons, short tiny skinny ones.

They aren't aware that I don't find short men attractive.

stopgap · 11/12/2016 20:19

DH is 5'7, I'm half an inch taller.

He's gorgeous, kind, hilarious, intelligent, a great father, worships the ground I walk on, and in more superficial terms, he's loaded and is great in bed. I'm rather glad many women would overlook him based purely on height.

IrnBrufan · 11/12/2016 20:26

I would say I was attracted to tall men....until I met my (now) husband.
We're both 5"7 and he's the kindest loveliest man I've ever known. I think I would have said before I met him, that height was a big deal for me. But even before we had our first date all that went out the window for me, it just didn't matter because of how I felt about him.
It's a shame if you can't get over it and he's a lovely guy, but ultimately, after 5 months of it bothers you then maybe it's just not meant to be! My best friend wouldn't even do a first date with someone who wasn't tall enough for her to be shorter while wearing massive heels. People have different priorities I guess
Maybe if he was 'the one' the height wouldn't bother you!!

SaltyBitch · 11/12/2016 20:27

Hope nobody ever judges you on an aspect of your looks you can do nothing about.

How unrealistic! Of course you judge a potential partner on their looks. Something about him you find repulsive (for me its very hairy men), then you are completely within your rights to say 'nope, not for me'.

However, to do this properly, you don't go out with them in the place.

clumsyduck · 11/12/2016 20:28

Have to be honest I wouldn't be attracted to a man smaller or same height as me we'll never say never but so far I haven't ever fancied anyone who wasn't taller

But isn't that the point you obviously fancied him enough to start seeing him so why is it an issue now ??

IHaveBrilloHair · 11/12/2016 20:30

There's nothing wrong with not being attracted to someone for any reason, you don't have to date someone you don't want to.
It would be mean and unnecessary to tell them why if they can't change it like their height.

RitchyBestingFace · 11/12/2016 20:32

Sex isn't (yet) subject to the equal opportunities act, you can reject people for whatever reason you like.

But don't think you're morally any different from a man who rejects a woman he otherwise likes for not having big enough breasts.

Waltermittythesequel · 11/12/2016 20:32

You know, OP hasn't been horrible about this man, hasn't sagged off all short people, hasn't placed any blame on him. She's said it's her and she feels bad about it...

And some of you have been pretty fucking horrible to her.

She's vile because she's not attracted to this man, but you're all saints because you're being cunty, but only because you know nice short people?

FFS!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 11/12/2016 20:44

Please don't tell him it's because of his height, but you really need to do him a favour and let him find someone else rather than wasting anymore of his (and your) time.

I'm always baffled about the height thing, most of the men in my family are short and were always and still are ridiculously popular with women, to the point where it pisses me off that whatever the gene for charm was obviously bypassed me

LadyLothian · 11/12/2016 20:47

She's vile because she's not attracted to this man, but you're all saints because you're being cunty, but only because you know nice short people

I think calling her vile was too strong. I know nice short people, and I know short people I can't stand.

But that's not the issue. The OP says herself that the guy in question falls into the "nice short people" category. But that his niceness does not outweigh his height for her.

I'm not sure what the OP wanted from this thread to be honest...

stripybluejumper · 11/12/2016 20:47

Just reading through thread....I agree with you WalterMitty...what a load of horrible people!!! The poor OP probably used this forum as a way of making sense of her feelings. Maybe she can't confide in anyone else in RL for fear of being judged? None of us are perfect...there is nothing wrong in expressing a feeling / thought better to get it out your system than suppress it.
OP you need to explore all aspects of your relationship with this man. If it helps...make a pro's and con's list. How do you feel when you are with him / without him? What has kept you with him for 6 months? Ask yourself these questions. Don't listen to these nasties...you are not vile or horrible...you need to figure this out and move on and allow him to do the same. X

GriefLeavesItsMark · 11/12/2016 20:49

If someone ditched me for being too short/fat/thin/flat chested I would think badly of them, not me.

This is because I don't have low self-esteem.

SaltyBitch · 11/12/2016 20:49

But don't think you're morally any different from a man who rejects a woman he otherwise likes for not having big enough breasts.

That's fine though! If you like big boobs, only look to date people with big boobs. If you like tall men, only date tall men. If you like one armed hipsters, only date one armed hipsters!

Completely fine to make a 'shallow' choice based on what turns you on.

SaltyBitch · 11/12/2016 20:50

It would be mean and unnecessary to tell them why if they can't change it like their height.

Agreed, you just tell them that you're not feeling it/the spark isn't there or whatever.

Amandahugandkisses · 11/12/2016 20:51

It's just a v primal natural breeding selection thing for women to be attracted to taller men it's not personal it's just a preference !

Rixera · 11/12/2016 20:52

It confuses me here that the responses are 'you are so shallow for not getting over it and acting like it matters' and simultaneously 'why have you dragged it on 5 months.'

Maybe in those 5 months she worked on getting over it, and couldn't, because we can't change who we're attracted to.
Would you call her shallow for being straight because why does it matter that they have a vagina, they're good and caring and funny? It's an attraction thing. What about intelligence? We are all naturally different levels of intelligence, would you date someone who doesn't have an intellectual capacity to match yours because they're nice and they can't help it? No. Yanbu. If you're not attracted to him being shorter than you, then that's that.

storynanny · 11/12/2016 20:58

Thing is if it does worry you now at the beginning, imagine how mych it will annoy when the honeymoon period is over.
My ex was short and I was conscious of it but my long term oh is also shortish and it is of no concern to me at all. So maybe he is just not the one for you.

minifingerz · 11/12/2016 22:14

.. IMHO, short men always have ishoos"

DH is 5ft 7. He has no 'ishoos' at all.

DailyFail1 · 11/12/2016 22:32

5 6 isn't short, it's average.

DailyFail1 · 11/12/2016 22:33

Dh is 5 7 and so am I. I'm taller when I wear heels. So what?

FizzBombBathTime · 11/12/2016 22:53

Daily 5 ft 6 isn't average for a man. The average uk man is 5 ft 9.

(I don't have a problem with anyone's height, just pointing that out!!!)

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 11 12

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.