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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep a gift from a person harassing me and then ignore them?

227 replies

Yumdoritos · 11/12/2016 05:22

I've had someone sort of harassing me online. They tell me they're in love with me despite me barely having spoken to them and never hinted at anything more than friends, we are barely even friends but more than acquaintances. I have never met this person in real life.

After a few months of being harassed and being too polite to block them (but being strict and making clear how I felt to them - which was nothing!) they recently sent me a "present" to a post office near ish to me for me to pick up. I was very dubious and took a friend with me to collect it. The post office is 30 mins away and the sender does not know my address, only the town I live in.

The present that they sent me was an expensive item, aswell as an Amazon gift card for quite a large amount. I can only assume they sent it to try and win me over or something? They later asked if I'd received it and I said yes but then they didn't even mention it again and we barely spoke since.

AIBU or can I get in trouble if I keep this present and then block the person? They do not have my address but know my name. There are lots more details of how they've harassed me or been creepy online but they might be too identifying to post. I want to block them as I should have done months ago, but worried I can get in trouble somehow from doing that. The person is also quite well off so I highly doubt that the stuff he sent me is stolen or anything along those lines. I think he was just desperate but he's done too much weird stuff to me for me to feel bad for him at this point

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 11/12/2016 07:49

Many police stations open at 10am Sundays.

Footle · 11/12/2016 07:52

He has sent you an engagement ring and you have accepted it. Has it occurred to you that he now thinks you are engaged to him ? You're both playing a dangerous game, and the one in danger is you.
What he has sent you is not a present , it's bait , and you have taken it.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 07:56

How can she return it?

togetherlikeglue · 11/12/2016 07:56

Please do as others say, today. Block him and take this to the police.

FrancisCrawford · 11/12/2016 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rubies12345 · 11/12/2016 08:04

How do you know he's not mentally ill if you haven't met him?

Sounds like he has serious problems and you're taking advantage.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 08:05

Francis- the police will expect her to have taken basic measures to deal with this herself. There is no comparison to a 15 year old

Scooby20 · 11/12/2016 08:07

You have kept an engagement ring from him. What signal is that going to send to him?

If in a few months a you end up going to the police and when they speak to him he explains that actually you were fine with his attention. The proof being the fact that you haven't blocked him and accepted his engagemeny ring and spent the money. It's not going to look good. It's going to look like you really feel harassed is it?

Scooby20 · 11/12/2016 08:08

wolver is right. From the outside it doesn't look like he is harrowing her when she accepted his engagemeny ring, spent the money he sent and hasn't blocked him.

And she isn't 15. So it doesn't matter what someone would tell a 15 year old.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 08:09

How can she return it? It's really poor advice if you can't tell her how. She doesn't have an address

Simonneilsbeard · 11/12/2016 08:13

Wolverbamptonwanderer he doesn't have her address and yet he managed to get this gift to her.
She can do the same. Have it sent to a post office where he can pick it up. Alternatively she can hand it to the police and let them trace him or send it back to amazon and let them reimburse him. She has options.

FrancisCrawford · 11/12/2016 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 11/12/2016 08:17

I thought it was anover reaction until I read about the photos, the engagement ring and the key. That is worthy of going to the police. It shows a far deeper obsession than just a "crush".

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 08:18

Do you have any experience of the police Francis?

SoupDragon · 11/12/2016 08:18

and hasn't blocked him.

She has.

RedMapleLeaf · 11/12/2016 08:19

How did the post office know which parcel was yours?

Trifleorbust · 11/12/2016 08:19

Why the fuck (sorry) would you keep a gift from someone who is stalking you?

RedHelenB · 11/12/2016 08:20

But why on earth would you want o keep gifts from tnis man!!!???

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 08:20

Someone has given the post office the OPs address, otherwise how did they contact her? You can't send off a parcel to "yumdoritos, town" and expect Royal Mail to track get down for you.

Are there any suggestions that might work?

RitaCrudgington · 11/12/2016 08:21

Can we have a tiny bit less victim blaming please? Collecting the parcel was not a smart move, but she can't now return it, she has now blocked him, and if every woman who ever received an unsolicited dick pic called the police they'd have nothing else to do.

However I would definitely call the police now - he sounds potentially very dangerous. And also tell all mutual connections what is going on. They need to know not to give out your personal details when he gives them a convincing story about having lost his phone with your address on and needing it for a birthday card.

Footle · 11/12/2016 08:22

Amazon know who sent the gift card.

FrancisCrawford · 11/12/2016 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 11/12/2016 08:24

Sending indecent images without the recipient's agreement can be an offence under the Malicious Communications Act.

FrancisCrawford · 11/12/2016 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Simonneilsbeard · 11/12/2016 08:26

Wolver it's been said before she can go to the police or send it back to amazon.
She can also fling it in the sea or hang the ring off her Xmas tree because it really doesn't matter at this point.
She drove 30 mins to pick up a parcel from a man she is adamant she wants nothing to do with. What she does now is report it to the police and make sure he can't contact her anymore. What she does with the gift is sort of irrelevant. Her safety is what's important.