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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want DC to be a Vegetarian

212 replies

2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:00

OH is a veggie, I have been for 3 months.

I don't won't DC to be a veggie when they're old enough to eat foods.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning.

I haven't yet discussed this with OH, not given it much thought until now. I know he'll be against it as he often says "Aww, my veggie family" Hmm

AIBU?

P.s, I'm aware I'm being a little out of line here posting without actually talking to OH first, but I know what he's like. I've said it in fleeting before and he laughed about it like I was joking a funny joke

OP posts:
Original poster
2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:01

*Title should say 'vegetarian'

OP posts:
DustOffYourHighestHopes · 07/12/2016 16:02

Yanbu

originalmavis · 07/12/2016 16:03

Im veggie and ds would eat me if I was slavered in gravy. Wide diet, can choose for himself when he is older.

I'm sure if he has been brought up on a restricted diet he would have snuck off for a McDonald's by now!

FruitCider · 07/12/2016 16:04

YABU. As someone who chose to become vegetarian at 3, I fully resent the fact that my parents fed me dead animals up until that point. You can choose to start eating meat, but you cannot UN eat it.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/12/2016 16:04

YABU. Why is your opinion more important than his? You need to discuss this now, before it comes up and becomes an issue.

maras2 · 07/12/2016 16:05

Do you actually have children?

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 07/12/2016 16:07

Seems fair enough to me

Having said that it really needs to be discussed and if dh is really against it i dont know what the compromise will be

Original poster
2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:09

ItsAll it's not but I thought me raising them 5 days a week would make me in charge of what they eat for those five 5 days?

mara Not yet, DC will be here soon though and decisions will need to be made

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 07/12/2016 16:10

yabu Why was this not discussed prior to having children? It would make me question the parents tbh if I saw them feeding a child something they would not eat themselves.

LilQueenie · 07/12/2016 16:12

I thought me raising them 5 days a week would make me in charge of what they eat for those five 5 days?

Xmas Hmm
Original poster
2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:12

Lil Well I'm only really veggie through convenience when I see him.

Diet requirements doesn't strike me as top of the list when discussing having DC either Confused

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 07/12/2016 16:12

Op both my parents were vegetarian when my and my siblings were young but they included meat in all our diets so that we were able to choose for ourselves (though I was allergic to nuts and eggs so I think in my case protein was a worry for her). I'm glad she let us decide for ourselves

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/12/2016 16:12

it's not but I thought me raising them 5 days a week would make me in charge of what they eat for those five 5 days?

Nope. You are both parents. If you were different religions would you just make the assumption that DC would take your religion? You really need to discuss this.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/12/2016 16:14

Diet requirements doesn't strike me as top of the list

It's not just a dietary requirement. It's an ethical belief system. It's a big deal. It's important to your DP.

Original poster
2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:14

Bit of a mixture of opinions here, wasn't expecting that!

I don't think I can carry on this veggie diet much longer, I'm craving hot wings. What's more, I've said this to OH and he just looked at me with lots of disappointment Sad

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 07/12/2016 16:19

I am a vegetarian and my husband isn't. We discussed this pre children and are bringing them up eating meat, they can decide when old enough. I'm glad we've done this as my daughter has some allergies and aged 2 is already noticing stuff others can have that she's not allowed and I'd hate for her to miss out further with no understanding on why. Her favourite food is sausages.

I have a friend bringing up her 2 and 4 year old veggie, the 4 year old really wants to eat meat but is not allowed. I have seen many tantrums from him about it.

Cocklodger · 07/12/2016 16:19

Yanbu.
Some lifelong vegetarians become teens or adults and want to try to eat meat but can't because it makes them sick, they can't digest it.
I've grown up with a meat intolerance and its horrible, although no one knows the cause for mine.
Feed your child meat, even if only high welfare meat once a week, otherwise their body may choose for them

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/12/2016 16:20

Of course he's disappointed, as you are veggie he thought you shared his views - if you're not veggie it demonstrates that you have a different ethical/moral standpoint to him. I really think you need to sit down and have this out with him.

LilQueenie · 07/12/2016 16:20

so are veggie or not you can't be one part time. I think you need to sit down and discuss everything.

mistlethrush · 07/12/2016 16:20

I've been vegetarian since I was 6. DH is definitely not vegetarian. And neither of us have remotely thought that the other would 'swap' to the other's diet. DH occasionally eats vegetarian meals when it's more convenient that way.

DS was brought up eating everything and used to like eating meat, but he decided to become vegetarian about 6 months ago and has stuck to it (he's 11). Although I suggested that he actually became pescatarian and not fully vegetarian and this went down fine with him and gives him a wider choice when out and at school etc. But not sure that he would have stuck to it if he'd been brought up vegetarian - and I don't mind if he doesn't stick with it either.

Shadowboy · 07/12/2016 16:22

When weaning I would want my child to experience all food types to allow them to decide what textures/flavours and food types they enjoy. Once old enough they can then decide for themselves.

Cocklodger · 07/12/2016 16:22

Just seen your above comment re hot wings.
Get your arse to KFC I'm not sure if they even do hot wings. Clueless veggie
Your relationship doesn't dictate what you eat. Your boyfriend shouldn't. If he doesn't support it he will have to live with it

Original poster
2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:24

ItsAll I've never pretended to share his moral views. He knows I'm currently not eating meat because I was fed up of his fussing/just easier for both of us to choose something the same. I don't mind it that much

Our DC is a whole different kettle of fish

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 07/12/2016 16:25

Did he pressure you into becoming vegetarian in the first place?

This is one of those issues that isn't an issue until DC come along, unfortunately. I don't think either of you get to override the other. Could you be vegetarian at home, but allow them to have meat in restaurants/at parties/at friends' houses?

I think making the decision to raise them vegetarian from birth is really restrictive because in some cases, it means they can never eat meat without getting sick. Has your DH considered that?

DontTouchTheMoustache · 07/12/2016 16:25

I don't think I can carry on this veggie diet much longer, I'm craving hot wings. What's more, I've said this to OH and he just looked at me with lots of disappointment

You shouldn't feel as though you have to be a vegetarian in order to please your DH, it's your life, not his. If you want to eat meat then that's your call. Obviously your DCs diet is a joint decision and you definitely need to talk to him before you make changes to it.

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