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AIBU?

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Original poster

Don't want DC to be a Vegetarian

212 replies

2became3 · 07/12/2016 16:00

OH is a veggie, I have been for 3 months.

I don't won't DC to be a veggie when they're old enough to eat foods.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning.

I haven't yet discussed this with OH, not given it much thought until now. I know he'll be against it as he often says "Aww, my veggie family" Hmm

AIBU?

P.s, I'm aware I'm being a little out of line here posting without actually talking to OH first, but I know what he's like. I've said it in fleeting before and he laughed about it like I was joking a funny joke

OP posts:
RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 08/12/2016 09:09

Ds1 started off as veggie

And then he went through a massive hardly eating anything stage, by which time i had introduced fish fingers

All three of mine eat meat but ds1 isnt really very keen

SpeakNoWords · 08/12/2016 09:17

SilentBatperson, meat isn't a food group. It's part of a food group, which contains plenty of vegetarian options as well as meat and fish. So a vegetarian diet doesn't remove one whole food group from your diet. You just choose non-meat options from within the same food group.

SilentBatperson · 08/12/2016 09:47

Mmm I've heard that before, I think. Frankly I've always found it a rather artificial construct in the context of discussions about children and vegetarianism. Animal flesh is different to other animal products such as eggs and milk, indeed meat is indisputably part of the normal human diet that we evolved to eat in a way that milk from other animals isn't. But by all means I'll change my phrasing if you feel that's needed for clarity.

SpeakNoWords · 08/12/2016 09:54

I find it's a common bit of hyperbole that is used to suggest that a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet is somehow excessively restrictive when it's not.

MistresssIggi · 08/12/2016 09:56

"Food group" is a recognised term though, it's not something we can change the meaning of to support a point.
It is much easier if you choose partners based on your own convictions (the most important ones anyway) then you don't get these conflicts. I wouldn't have married anyone who ate meat, so no issue about how to raise the dcs.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 10:04

Meat is not a food group.

nutbrownhare15 · 08/12/2016 10:19

This is an interesting dilemma for me as I'm vegetarian and my oh isn't. I feel strongly about being a vege and want my children to be vege. I'd like my oh to be a vege too(ideally I'd like everyone to be for ethical and environmental reasons). So in a way our situation is reversed. Our compromise is that we are vege at home and when we eat out he eats meat. He agreed that our child would be vegetarian and I plan for her to decide when she is old enough to understand what meat is and how it gets to the plate. How I would feel if roles were reversed and he wanted her to have a different diet from me, I don't know, although I do recognise previous posters' points that going vege is easier for meat eaters than going meat eating for veges who are vege for ethical reasons. You need to talk it through with him. But first decide what you are willing to compromise on. What is it about your child being vege that you don't like? Is it convenience because you want to eat meat sometimes? Is it health? Is it wanting to eat the same as them?

Suppermummy02 · 08/12/2016 10:42

As previous poster said its about choice, a vegetarian child can grow up and choose to eat meat, they can not chose to uneat the meat you fed them.

Would seem the best compromise would be to bring the child up vegetarian and then let them chose when they are a teenager.

I dont get the idea you can be half vegetarian, you either eat meat or you don't Confused Saying that, a pescatarian might be a compromise?

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 10:45

"Would seem the best compromise would be to bring the child up vegetarian and then let them chose when they are a teenager."

I'd actually let them choose much younger than that. As soon as they start eating away from home and family. But yes, certainly start off as vegetarian.

soontobeamum1982 · 08/12/2016 10:55

My OH is veggie too, I am not. We are expecting our first child (though still v early days in the pregnancy) and I have already said there's no way I'm raising my children as veggie as they need the vitamins and minerals from meat, but they will be free to make their own minds up when they're over the age of 10 and I would support them then if they did choose to be veggie.
Can you talk to him about the benefits of meat in terms of growth/health in early life?

Suppermummy02 · 08/12/2016 10:59

I'd actually let them choose much younger than that

Your probably right, I didn't put much thought into the age or reason when I was typing.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 10:59

"I have already said there's no way I'm raising my children as veggie as they need the vitamins and minerals from meat.............Can you talk to him about the benefits of meat in terms of growth/health in early life?"

You do know that's not true, don't you?

ElphabaTheGreen · 08/12/2016 11:04

soontobeamum What BertrandRussell said. There are no 'essential' nutrients in meat that you can't get from non-meat sources with no extra effort or planning.

Suppermummy02 · 08/12/2016 11:07

there's no way I'm raising my children as veggie as they need the vitamins and minerals from meat That's just a lazy way of saying, 'I am a meat eater and no way is my kid eating rabbit food'.

A meat eating parent can feed their DC crap as much as any vegetarian can. And a balanced vegetarian diet can be more healthy than a carnivorous one, we aren't living in the dark ages any more.

I challenge anyone to list essential vitamins and minerals that a vegetarian diet cannot provide.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 11:10

As someone who chose to become vegetarian at 3, I fully resent the fact that my parents fed me dead animals up until that point

Wow, just when you think you've heard it all! Bet you're fun at family parties.

OP, you can feed your children, and yourself, as you like. He can feed them as he likes. Don't let him control your diet or your cooking!

sarahd100 · 08/12/2016 11:11

I think this is a tricky one for other people to make a decision on as it's very personal. I'm vegetarian and have been for 2 years, my DP is not vegetarian but will eat veggie if I'm cooking.

We've not discussed what our child would eat when we have them - my preference would be to start them off veggie and then let them decide when they're older, but I don't think DP would agree with me!

Realistically he can't have any say on your eating preferences, that is completely up to you.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 11:27

"P, you can feed your children, and yourself, as you like. He can feed them as he likes. Don't let him control your diet or your cooking!"

Half right.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 11:30

Nope, all right. She can feed her children as she likes in her own home, where he does not live and is not there.
ARe you suggesting she can't?

newlabelwriter · 08/12/2016 11:35

I am vegetarian and have been most of my life, both of my children are but this was based on fact I have no idea how to cook meat and at the moment they are both happy with their diet and it's varied and healthy. When they are older they can make their own decision on whether to eat meat. All of this was backed up by my DP though.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 11:36

"Are you suggesting she can't?"

Yes. I am suggesting exactly that.

viques · 08/12/2016 11:38

I don't understand the statements that you are only a vegetarian when you see him, and that you have only been vegetarian for three months. So , making assumptions here because I am putting off cleaning the kitchen floor, are you pregnant after three months with someone you don't live with? If so you have other issues to think about apart from what you are eating. and why are you only raising your children 5 days a week? What happens to them on the other two days? nobody told me you could get part time children, is it like a timeshare?

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 08/12/2016 11:39

All my family are vegetarians apart from me, I never have been. My DM doesn't like cooking meat but always bought me some turkey at Christmas. Me eating meat was never an issue as it was my decision.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 11:43

You are suggesting that a woman, alone in her own house, with her own children, must ask permission from the childrens father, to cook them a meal of her choice?
And you're comfortable with advocating that level of control for a man over a woman?

I suppose you can argue for that. 2 obvious problems being:

  1. you're clearly wrong
  2. its idiotic.
BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 11:47

No. I am saying that both parents have the right to be involved in their child's diet. And if one parent wants the child to be fed a vegetarian diet and the other doesn't then the vegetarian option should be taken. Because meat eaters can eat vegetarian food, but not the reverse. Regardless of the sex of anyone involved.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 11:50

Lovely in theory, but in practice, you are actually saying that a woman should do what a man wants, and should not have the autonomy to do as she likes in her own home.

Happily for her, and the world, neither you nor him can actually do anything about it, and she CAN in fact do as I said: whatever the fuck she likes!

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