Don't want DC to be a Vegetarian

[2became3]

OH is a veggie, I have been for 3 months.

I don't won't DC to be a veggie when they're old enough to eat foods.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning.

I haven't yet discussed this with OH, not given it much thought until now. I know he'll be against it as he often says "Aww, my veggie family"

AIBU?

P.s, I'm aware I'm being a little out of line here posting without actually talking to OH first, but I know what he's like. I've said it in fleeting before and he laughed about it like I was joking a funny joke

who does the shopping and cooking? That person decides.

if you both do it, then you can both serve what you approve of, as long as it meets the nutritional requirements of your homo sapiens baby.

specials I do

I'm vegetarian, my DP is not (although he was for a while before I met him). Both children are/will be vegetarian. My DP hasn't got any objections to this, he knows I'm capable of providing a healthy balanced diet for them. I do all the cooking and I won't be buying or cooking meat because I'm vegetarian. When they're old enough to understand they can choose not to be vegetarian outside of the home.

YANBU to want to give a non-vegetarian diet, but YABU not to discuss this with your DP and take his views into account.

I've been veggie for 30 years and recently became a vegan. OH eats a bit of meat. The way we get round it in our house is that we eat veggie at home (as I can't/won't cook meat) and then the kids have meat at school/ when we go out for food/at my mums etc. It seems to work and means that they get to choose when they are older if they want to be be veggie or not. I weaned them both veggie tho but I do cook fish for them even though I don't eat it myself.

As a vegetarian married to a staunch meat eater I would love it if my husband decided that our son would be veggie. Ultimately though I raise my son as a meat eater as it is the norm for most kids and I don't want him to be seen as 'Unusual' or difficult as people often refer to me! Probably would be totally different if husband didn't want him to eat meat too. Would love my son to be veggie if I could make that happen because of all the health benefits.

Hermione that's a good idea - just eating meat out

Except that meat used in restaurants is usually lower quality than you might opt for at home.

We discussed it when expecting our first child. We decided they would be veggie bit eat fish as a compromise (yes, yes, I know they're pescetarian). Ds decided to eat meat at the age of seven and we agreed that was fine once he understood the arguments involved. He had no problem taking to the texture of meat but because we mainly eat pescetarian at home, that's 80% of his diet.

I think YABU really. The children aren't going to be limited as far as BLW is concerned because they will just eat your family meals.

My children are very good eaters and not at all fussy.

It would make me question the parents tbh if I saw them feeding a child something they would not eat themselves

I fed my 3 year old egg mayonnaise today, I can't stand the stuff myself.

Why would I limit his diet because I don't like certain foods myself?

HicDraconis - your way of looking at it is very kind and understanding. It is important for children to know they are loved and respected whatever their choices.

My great grandparents owned a farm (that my grandparents still live on, although it's now more a small homestead) but we've all seen animals raised/artificially inseminated/taken from their mothers/killed/eaten our whole lives. It's only when you consider them living things that feel pain, it becomes harder to stomach. If you're raised thinking "yes we kill cows but it doesn't matter" (how I was raised) then children won't question it, but if you tell a child "the meat on your plate used to be alive, had fears and felt pain just like you do" they generally don't like it so much. This is only my experience though of course.

Either way, your child still has a choice. I think YABU.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning
I have no idea what this means.

You are not in the position of two vegetarian parents wanting to raise dc to eat meat, which would be very odd. You are not a vegetarian, or probably won't be by the time the baby arrives. I couldn't have contemplated feeding animal flesh to my dcs, but that's because I am a vegetarian by choice. They can eat meat when they're older if they want to.

OP, could you clarify a couple of points, please?

"I thought me raising them 5 days a week would make me in charge of what they eat for those five 5 days? "
"Well I'm only really veggie through convenience when I see him."

OP, ^^ those two statements you've made - do you and your partner live together, or not? Or do you live together but he will be away with work most of the time?

Also - do you actually WANT to be a vegetarian?? Because his disappointment really doesn't come in to it - if you want to be an omnivore, be an omnivore.

WhereYou

No, we don't live together. We're getting the remainders of a mortgage amount that we need together - I want something bigger so am prepared to live away from him for another year or so. This set up suits us.

I do want to be but can't really hack it, if that makes sense? It's like a trip to the beach at Southend - the idea is nice but it always ends up shit

YANBU in theory. Obviously you and your DP need to agree on an arrangement that you will both be happy with.

I've been vegetarian all of my life (now in my twenties). My parents are both vegetarian, though neither for ethical reasons. My dad actually became vegetarian when I was little as he thought it was too confusing for me.

I've stayed vegetarian. But to be honest I wish I'd had more of a choice earlier in life. I tried the occasionally tiny piece of meat/fish in my teens. But I feel quite squeamish about it. I really struggled to have it in my mouth. My parents said when we were teenagers we could eat meat if we wanted to. But I think that was too late really.

The texture is quite different to any other food. (I very rarely eat meat substitutes, and they're not that close in texture!)

Obviously they couldn't have known, but I've ended up having various medical problems, including needing major bowel surgery. My diet is quite restricted and it would be a lot easier in many ways if I could eat meat. But I just can't bring myself to eat it now. Not from an ethical point of view. And actually my dietitian advised not to even try reintroducing it after the surgery as she thought I might have lost the ability to digest it. I don't know if that's a real possibility or not. At least I seem to have an enhanced ability to digest pulses so I can tolerate them better than most people can after this type of surgery

I'm not vegetarian and I'm currently BLWing my 10 month old son, and I've been surprised at how it feels odd and unnatural to give him meat, so he doesn't have much. We aren't trying to bring him up veggie but DP and I both separately realised we felt a bit unfair giving him meat before he can understand what it is. He does have some maybe once a week but it's strange to watch him eat it and I'm not sure I'm happy with it. Would never have expected to feel like that before we started weaning because as I say we do eat meat ourselves.

If you are both vegetarian it would be madness to cook meat just for your child.
The real issue seems to be that he is veggie and is putting pressure on you (and by extension your child) to become vegetarian.
If you don't want to be vegetarian don't be.
As for your baby? I think whoever is doing the cooking and feeding calls the shots regarding the childs diet.
As for morals and ethics? Vegetarians can be assholes the same as anyone else!

DH and I are both vegetarian. Our children are being raised on vegetarian diets. They can make a decision for themselves, if they want to eat meat, when they're old enough to do so.

Both DH and I were vegetarians when we met, it wasn't a case of one of us being so, and 'converting' the other. Therefore it was an easy conversation to have, on how to raise our children.

Your situation OP, is a different one, because it sounds as though you're being pressured by your DP. What I would say though, is don't think raising children vegetarian is a bad thing, it certainly isn't.

With your update it sounds like your dp will have a very limited involvement in the day to day life of your newborn (which is a whole other thread) so you should feed him/her what you want to eat yourself.

I meant that if you're honest with children about what it is that they're eating, they don't want to eat it. I.e. If they make the connection between a living chicken and what is on their plates and how it got there.
I don't buy into that, sorry or a lot more children would be vegetarian. I'm pretty confident by age 5+ they know where meat comes from.

www.avclub.com/video/watch-vegetarian-eat-meat-first-time-22-years-245018

^P.S, the idea that I should've been discussing food with DH before conceiving is ridiculous. Sorry, but it is*

You're ridiculous to be honest. This is a big deal, like whether you plan to circumcise or not, whether you want them brought up within a religion etc. These things are important to people and when there is a difference of culture or beliefs then it's ridiculous not to discuss them before having a baby together!

I'm veggie and xh is not. We agreed before conceiving how we would feed our potential DC. Saved what could have been many nasty arguments afterwards.

I'd be concerned if my partner wanted to raise my kids as vegetarian. Good nutrition is vital to child development. While that's perfectly possible as a vegetarian, it's more difficult than for adults.

You will need to put thought and research into getting them all the nutrition they need. Kids don't always co-operate, my daughter would starve without the existence of ham. Good summary here:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528709/

That article seems to focus on strict vegan and macrobiotic diets, rather than lacto-ovo vegetarians. I don't think it's that difficult to achieve a healthy diet as lacto-ovo vegetarians.

Poldark Oh yes because every child is 100% planned aren't they

I totally agree with you OP that discussing dietary choices pre-conception is utterly ridiculous. Sanctimonious vegetarians shit me. As a vegetarian myself of many years, it makes me think I'm one of them.

Your DC may make the decision for you, one way or another. We started raising DS1 as vegetarian, as we both are, and got nursery to keep him on a vegetarian diet. Then, he became lactose intolerant, meaning I would basically have to have prepared dairy-free vegetarian meals, but nut-free obviously being a group childcare setting, to send in with him. I did not have the time or the energy for that, so we threw in the towel and told nursery to give him an omni-dairy-free diet to ensure he was getting decent nutrition, otherwise they'd have fed him nothing but Quorn, which is not nutritionally adequate on a regular basis for a growing child (it even says this in the Quorn website before anyone argues). Fast forward a few years, and, despite being weaned on every flavour, texture, herb, spice, and foodstuff under the sun, DS1 is the fussiest most infuriating eater in the world. I'm relieved he eats an albeit minute array of meat (ham, sausages, the odd hotdog, fish fingers, fish cakes) because he's at least eating something other than beans on bastard toast that has some nutritional value.

We just said 'fuck it' from the start with DS2 and he's always been omni. They can make their own minds up later.