Don't want DC to be a Vegetarian

[2became3]

OH is a veggie, I have been for 3 months.

I don't won't DC to be a veggie when they're old enough to eat foods.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning.

I haven't yet discussed this with OH, not given it much thought until now. I know he'll be against it as he often says "Aww, my veggie family"

AIBU?

P.s, I'm aware I'm being a little out of line here posting without actually talking to OH first, but I know what he's like. I've said it in fleeting before and he laughed about it like I was joking a funny joke

When weaning I would want my child to experience all food types to allow them to decide what textures/flavours and food types

That may be so, but if your partner was a vegetarian they have an equal say. A vegetarian is at least as healthy as an omni one and we make decisions on what is best for our child all of the time. As a PP said, when they are old enough to make the decision they can choose to eat meat, they can't uneat all of the meat you have already fed them.

Hermione that's a good idea - just eating meat out

You're not a veggie, and that's fine - however your boyfriend might be rethinking stuff as you don't share the same values and ethics. And that's okay, too.

I don't see how you can resolve the veggie v carnie/omni issue though without one of you changing stance.

Tricky.

I don't think I can carry on this veggie diet much longer, I'm craving hot wings. What's more, I've said this to OH and he just looked at me with lots of disappointment

Did you decide to be veggie because you wanted to for ethical/diet reasons, or did you do it to please your man? One of those is a stupid reason to change what you eat...

As it sounds like your only veggie to "please" your DH and stop his fussing I don't think yabu to want to let your DC decide for themselves

Look love if you want some hot wings and don't want to be veggie your an adult and don't have to be- he can stick his look of disappointment up his arse

2

Thats pretty much what dh does, he doesnt eat much meat at all at home

The children on the other hand!!!!

YABU, why are you vegetarian if you don't believe it's the optimal diet for your health/children's health? If you're honest with children they usually don't want to eat meat (mine don't...aged 5, even though I sometimes do) anyway, plus weaning is mostly vegetables, so why would you cook meat for your DC if you aren't going to eat it?

Do a little research into the Heath and environmental benefits/effects of (not) eating meat before you go and scoff some hot wings but obviously do what you want to do, eat what you want to eat, blah blah don't let anyone dictate your life etc

(For background: OH eats meat, we just moved our families in together and are gradually reducing our m consumption of animal products. I'm eating very small amounts of meat and eggs every so often for ease and so his DC don't resent me for changing their diets right away.)

You really should have discussed both your dietary preferences (you clearly want to and enjoy eating meat) and how you want to raise your children before ttc or even getting into a committed relationship. Have you discussed religion, politics, parenting styles?

Sorry if this is a bit snappy, I'm not usually a bitch but these type of threads really grate on me (as it worries me that my OH will end up resenting me for wanting him to be veggie...).

I'm a vegetarian, DD is 16mo and isn't... This was a personal choice of mine that I made after much consideration. As it's just us, most of her meals are veggie but she's not restricted in what she can eat so long as it's a balanced diet!

That being said, I would question your insistence on having your DC eat meat if your OH is totally against it. He thinks it is wrong, you think it isn't. That's ok, but I'm assuming you don't think eating meat is a moral necessity or you wouldn't be with your OH!

I'm going to use an extreme example to illustrate my point... Imagine if all meat became unavailable as a foodstuff. Maybe due to contamination or law or whatever but bottom line is that no one could eat meat anymore. You might think "bummer I'm going to have to find a new spag bol recipe" but I highly doubt you would have a massive moral crisis over not being able to eat meat... You'd just get on and make do with the food you could have.

Conversely, imagine if meat became the only food we could eat (I said it was an extreme example, bare with me). Imagine how your OH and every other vegetarian might react if suddenly meat was our only option. For many I would imagine it would be a moral crisis on a massive scale, we would have to decide if we could live with the decision to eat meat for our very survival. It very much would not be a "shrug and carry on" type deal!

I'm using this to illustrate that between moral, not a moral, and immoral. There's "I should not eat meat because it's bad". "I can eat meat because it's not bad". And there's "I must eat meat because not doing so is bad". Unless you happen to fall into the last category, I think your OHs moral trumps your lack of it. (I'm not saying you don't have morals btw I'm saying you don't have this one, which is fine as we all have different morals for different things.)

However, your OH shouldn't be forcing you to be veggie if you don't want to be. I've literally never had a veggie partner and I've never tried to force them into it. It's an entirely personal decision. The only trouble comes when you have DC and you're making decisions for them until they can make them themselves!

It doesn't sound like you even want to be veggie yourself op, just got fed up of your partner.
If you want to chicken wings or whatever, your an adult don't change your eating habits to please someone else.

I don't know what the answer is to letting the DC have meat as no one parent trumps the other. It is a tricky one. Maybe a compromise of meat once a week if the child wants to eat it

Me and dh aren't veggie but have meat rarely maybe twice a month at the most and ds (15 months) will not always but most times leave the meat Untouched. So don't worry about your DC not getting enough textures etc, ds has plenty of variety

reinder Yes we have. We get on so well and we usually always agree on most things

You both need to decide how to feed your DC but don't be swayed by stuff like it means they can never eat meat without getting sick which is absolute rubbish.

I have several friends who were brought up veggie from birth and now eat blue steak.

Hermione that's a good idea - just eating meat out

That's what dp does. I haven't stopped him from having meat in the house - though I have told him he needs to cook it himself and clean the kitchen afterwards as I haven't handled meat for over 30 years.

And you can totally start eating meat again if you want to. I had a burger from KFC after my operation, the only time I've eaten meat in over 30 years. It was lovely. Certainly didn't make me ill!

If you're a vegetarian household then bring them up to be vegetarians.

It's utter bollocks to say lifelong vegetarians can't then eat meat.

If you're honest with children they usually don't want to eat meat
My kids live off grilled chicken. DD2 is 8 months and it is her favourite meal and all the kids I know love meat.

I'm a veggie, husband isn't but eats a mostly veggie diet as it's just easier. Funnily enough we never really discussed this before I got pregnant, and only then we did because MIL forced the situation (told us that she'd be feeding or baby meat whether I liked it or not, completely out of the blue the wanker ).
I wouldn't think that either of you would be unreasonable to want things your way tbh, but one of you would need to compromise. We discussed it after the MIL incident and have discussed it a few times since. DH eats veggie most of the time so we're going to continue our diet with her and when she does have meat we will ensure that it is good quality meat, at least until our hands are forced when she is older (birthday parties and playdates!).

And if you are craving meat and actually want to eat it, why are you staying veggie?

Thanks for all the responses.

I'm willing to compromise - for example, baby can't have meat in his presence. If I go back to eating meat and only eat it out, that would be good for me too

P.S, the idea that I should've been discussing food with DH before conceiving is ridiculous. Sorry, but it is

But if he wants the baby to be a vegetarian, how would he/she eating meat when he wasn't there be a compromise? You can't be a little bit vegetarian! Why do you want the baby to eat meat?

Of course you can choose for yourself, but you can't make a unilateral choice about the baby.

Bloody hell this is confusing!

I am a vegetarian (since 10). My mum is also a vegetarian but gave me the choice. My DP is almost a carnivore. He respects my view on it and I respect his. Our DD is not a vegetarian but she can be if she wants when she is older (she's only 2 now).

You shouldn't be changing for your DH, he should calmly respect your opinions as a mature adult! However, he does get a say in what your children eat. I don't really understand the whole you'll parent for 5 days thing. Where is he then and where are you for the other 2 days a week?

FrankandBeans - I meant that if you're honest with children about what it is that they're eating, they don't want to eat it. I.e. If they make the connection between a living chicken and what is on their plates and how it got there.

I loved the taste of meat as a child.

I don't think discussing food before TTC is ridiculous, we didn't sit down and make plans about food, religion, schooling etc but in the years together before children we talked about it when it came up on the news or something so knew we agreed on the big things a long time before children. Going by the people I know I would have assumed this was the norm in most relationships.

It would make me question the parents tbh if I saw them feeding a child something they would not eat themselves.

I don't eat meat because I don't like it. Ditto bananas, aubergines and milk chocolate. I don't eat carbs because they don't like me.

DC were weaned on everything so as to let them make their own minds up. Why would I limit my diet due to their dislikes?

(Don't assume all vegetarianism is for ethical reasons.)

*Why would I limit their diet due to my dislikes?

My friend bought up all her children vegetarian, it all went out the window when she came home and found her kids frying bacon

Actually, the more I think about this, the more I think that if one parent wants the child to be a vegetarian, then that's what has to happen- until the child is old enough to have an opinion.

Reindeer most kiwi children know exactly what they're eating when they eat meat - lots of them have seen the calf born, fed the piglet, helped move the lambs around the fields. They all love eating meat.

I would do the same with children as I would with religion. Expose them to it (in this case, allow them to eat meat based dishes) and when they're old enough, explain that some people like eating meat (like Mummy), some people don't (like Daddy) and give them the choice. Reinforce that both parents will still love them no matter what decision they make and that they are always free to change their minds.