Don't want DC to be a Vegetarian

[2became3]

OH is a veggie, I have been for 3 months.

I don't won't DC to be a veggie when they're old enough to eat foods.

I think they should be free to explore a range of textures and not have limited on baby lead weaning.

I haven't yet discussed this with OH, not given it much thought until now. I know he'll be against it as he often says "Aww, my veggie family"

AIBU?

P.s, I'm aware I'm being a little out of line here posting without actually talking to OH first, but I know what he's like. I've said it in fleeting before and he laughed about it like I was joking a funny joke

Sorry *it makes OTHER PEOPLE think I'm one of them (sanctimonious vegetarians that is)

"I'd be concerned if my partner wanted to raise my kids as vegetarian. Good nutrition is vital to child development"

These two sentences have nothing to do with each other.

Sorry if this is a bit snappy, I'm not usually a bitch but these type of threads really grate on me (as it worries me that my OH will end up resenting me for wanting him to be veggie...)

Out of interest, why are you forcing him to be a vegetarian? If you think he will resent you for it in the long run, why do it at all?

I don't understand this at all! Just let people be to eat what they want to eat! If you do the cooking as a vegetarian, don't cook meat. You can't dictate to people what they can and cannot eat when you are not doing the cooking??

"I'd be concerned if my partner wanted to raise my kids as vegetarian. Good nutrition is vital to child development"

These two sentences have nothing to do with each other.

Yes they do. That's why I put them next to one another.

You are implying that a vegetarian diet is concerning wrt good nutrition. A lacto-ovo vegetarian diet is not concerning, it's really not hard to provide a healthy diet.

No they don't, donq. An omni diet can be just as nutritionally depleted as a vegetarian one, just as easily.

I'm vegetarian, DH isn't. We eat vegetarian food 5 or 6 nights a week at home, the other days we do something with an easy substitute (e.g. chicken curry for DH & DD, quourn curry for me). When we eat out, everyone chooses individually. We all buy lunch at school/work, so DD has school dinners and can choose the meat or vegetarian option. She tends to choose the veggie meal, but I'm fairly sure that's just because she likes the taste rather than a moral judgement.

But this is something which evolved quite naturally, once DH & I were living together as it's just how we ended up. I wouldn't worry to much about making that decision for your DC until you're living together (or pregnant).

RoseGoldHippie - I'm not forcing him at all. But I did ask if he would be open to it and don't cook many meals containing meat. As a family we eat meat (I'm not even 100% veggie I hasten to add), it just worried me because the OP seemed to be fine being veggie herself in the OP but later down on the thread sounded resentful that her OH wanted her to be.

Here's what the NHS says about Vegetarian and vegan children. As you can see, a vegetarian diet doesn't mean bad nutrition. Even a vegan diet is fine for a child as long as you think carefully about things like calcium.

If both parents are veggy or religious, then they are entitled to raise their DC likewise.

By latest at secondary school, the DC should be allowed to choose for themself - at that age it would be difficult to prevent without an abusive degree of control.

A religious parent should not trump an atheist or agnostic parent expressing their views to the DC, to demand that DC are brought up to believe, especially not that the other parent pays lip service to religion.
There would need to be compromise or agreement about religion.

Similarly, if only one parent is veggie, their views do not trump the wishes & convenience of the other parent.
Possible compromises are that the veggy parent never cooks meat or fish. or even that meat is only eaten outside the home.

In this case, the OH doesn't even live with them, so the RP is entitled to feed the DC as she wishes.
Just as she would be entitled to choose which religion or none, for the DC.

A vegan or vegetarian parent shouldn't impose their dietary restrictions on their partner or children. Kids can make their own minds up later.

the idea that I should've been discussing food with DH before conceiving is ridiculous. Sorry, but it is

Dp and I discussed it before ttc. We decided to raise future children veggie as we are both veggie.

I feel very strongly that being vegetarian is very important for animal welfare and for the planet.

I'd let child decide when they were old enough.
Whilst doctors believe that vegetarians can eat meat if they wish later on, some people have been rather ill the first few times they've had meat after a long period without it.
There certainly isn't anything wrong with a vegetarian diet for kids though.
It can be just as healthy or unhealthy as a eating meat.

A vegan or vegetarian parent shouldn't impose their dietary restrictions on their partner or children. Kids can make their own minds up later

Why not? Parents make all kinds of decisions for their children that will impact on their child's future decisions and choices.
Vegetarians tend to believe strongly that being vegetarian is the right thing to do, and why would they raise their children to do something they consider to be wrong?
I was raised vegetarian as were my 4 siblings and none of us are resentful that we can't eat meat if we chose to. Not one of us has ever considered it. I'm very happy to be a lifelong vegetarian and that's why I'm raising my child in that belief system. If it was a religious belief then people wouldn't bat an eyelid that people raised their children within it but for some reason vegetarianism isn't taken as seriously. At least there are rational arguments for vegetarianism, unlike religion.

reindeerbitesback ah that's totally different! Sorry I read that totally wrong!

I pretty much only cook vegetarian food too although we are not vegetarian. But if DP had a problem with this I just helpfully tell him where the kitchen is! 😁 I don't want to be a vegetarian I just like a lot of the dishes and veggies are cheaper than meat.

PoldarksBreeches I'm not a vegetarian, and I truly believe people should be able to eat how they like and other people's choices should not be imposed on each other. Especially in terms of partners, why would you even start a relationship with someone who eats meat of you were so avidly against it? It's just weird to me.

However I do agree with you regarding children's diets. If both parents are vegetarian, why would you give your young children meat? When they are a bit older they can and should decide for themselves, but until then it really doesn't make a difference to the child's health to be a vegetarian! I've never known a vegetarian family raise their children to eat meat (although most did decide to when they were older)

I'd never expect a partner to be vegetarian! My xh was so carnivorous that he ate offal and brains and all manner of disgusting stuff. He agreed that our children would be vegetarian though, which knowing him as I do now surprises me massively, he's rarely that amenable.

Sorry it was part of the quote in your post.

I do think if one parent is vegetarian it makes sense that the child would be too. It doesn't hurt a meat eater to not eat meat when a meal is prepared. The opposite of that is obviously not the same.

Being a veggie shouldn't be hard work, but something that you fully embrace and are comfortable with. If you are craving meat or questioning why you are veggie, then you shouldn't be one. Children should be able to make their own choices as regards being vegetarian. My DD decided at 16 that she wanted to be veggie, on Xmas eve, when the turkey was ready to be stuffed! I remember having to trawl round the few open shops trying to get hold of a nice piece of fish to cook her instead, as she was adamant she would not consider my request for her to stay a carnivore until after Xmas day!

I was brought up by a meat eating mother and a vegetarian father. My sister and I were brought up eating meat and still do. We always accepted that DF ate different meals from us.
He was vegetarian from birth, tried meat when he was 33, decided he didn't like it and never bothered again.
My parents are now 99 (the veggie one) and 90 (the meat eating one).

As someone who chose to become vegetarian at 3, I fully resent the fact that my parents fed me dead animals up until that point.

You resent your parents for giving you a biologically normal diet?

No chip on your shoulder then.

"A vegan or vegetarian parent shouldn't impose their dietary restrictions on their partner or children. Kids can make their own minds up later."

As Poldark says, why? Meat eating parents impose their choice onto their children. Being vegetarian for me involves my personal system of beliefs. There's no way I could choose to give my children meat as it goes against what I believe in.

I'm a vegetarian, my husband is most definitely not. We have 4 children who have all been raised as meat eaters. As eating meat is the natural state for us as humans, that is what they eat. Becoming a vegetarian is a choice one makes, be it for moral or health related beliefs, so our children are educated on where their food comes from and are free to make that choice when they are able to.

Of course the vegetarian parent's wishes should take precedence. Non vegetarian people can eat vegetarian food- the reverse does not apply.

TBH I'd be a bit more concerned that your own diet is apparently a source of disappointment!

All the posts saying there shouldn't be unilateral decisions, one parent getting to impose their way etc don't make much sense. This isn't a decision that lends itself to compromise.

If OH wants the child to only be given vegetarian food and you want the child to be given meat too, one of you is going to get your own way entirely and the other one isn't. The nearest thing to the middle ground would presumably be only a bit of meat, but then if what he wants is all or nothing vegetarian, that's actually you getting your way OP. Which, since apparently you're only abstaining from meat for convenience when you're with him and the child is going to spend most of their time with you not him, is the likeliest option. I mean, you sound like you're not going to stick the vegetarian thing- and no reason why you should, I'm not judging, eat what you want. Realistically, you will be doing well to be able to eat something regularly without your child trying to nab any of it once they're a bit older.

So no, YANBU not to want to remove one of the major food groups from your child's diet. YABU and so is OH for not having discussed this before, though I realise in the real world unplanned pregnancies happen. He is BU for presuming the child will be vegetarian, but he's not BU to want it.