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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think school can't require dd to come back in the evening for performance?

473 replies

tankerdale · 06/12/2016 08:00

Genuinely don't know if IABU. DD is year 4. Christmas production is a play featuring mainly years 5&6, other children are required to be in a choir. Performance is 6pm on a Friday night which means dropping dd at 5.15 and collecting about 8.15 or going to watch. Dd has end of term-it is, is ryb down and doesn't want to do it. I have two younger children, youngest is 1 and DH isn't reliably back home til 8.30pm so it's really impractical for me to watch or to drive and drop her/collect her with the others. If she wanted to do it I'd probably try harder to make arrangements but she's adamant she doesn't want to. They've been told they have to come back for it unless there's a good reason - but aibu to say she can't come because of practicalities? They can't require it can they?

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 07/12/2016 21:05

One evening is hardly a major commitment.

DS's school show is 4 nights, 3 daytime and 1 Saturday morning performance. Sad

The HT and the staff are beyond determined that everyone who wants to see can see so we've got shows that allow babies and toddlers, one that doesn't, one for the old folks home residents etc etc. It's lovely, but I admit the back and forth to the school is starting to grate a teeny bit. I feel like I'm never away from the place atm!

thatdearoctopus · 07/12/2016 21:05

My child is my priority, not the wants of a working parent.

It's not "your child" vs "working parents." It's you allowing your child to let down his class and school because you think he's more precious and special than anyone else's, which is basically what it boils down to.

SeenYourArse · 07/12/2016 21:07

No way would I take her that's a ridiculously late time for you to be getting home in the evening with little ones! Most her age would have been in bed nearly anbour by the time you are even supposed to collect her,you are definitely not BU!

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:08

Actually it's me instilling a sense of responsibility into my child that he supports the team he us part of every single week of the year. Nothing precious about that.

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/12/2016 21:08

DameXanaduBramble

Seriously, do get a fucking grip will you. It's not the end of the world if a child misses one night of a play. Listen to yourselves.

This time its a play, (in this case 2), what about when its a activity that they have signed up for and the rest of the team can't do the event because it requires a number of people?

I will get a "fucking grip" when you and others realise how much your "fucking" choices upset other pupils that rely on your child to attend.

thatdearoctopus · 07/12/2016 21:11

And, for the third time, what about his classmates? Who he sees 5 days a week, every week and who he's been friends with all through school?

OK to shit on them, I suppose?

Isitadoubleentendre · 07/12/2016 21:14

Actually it's me instilling a sense of responsibility into my child that he supports the team he us part of every single week of the year. Nothing precious about that.

I'm sure just before Christmas there are lots of kids who cant make team practice for lots of reasons, no? Do you plan your holidays around this team? Its a total one off.

sj257 · 07/12/2016 21:14

They do two evening performances here, meaning you generally watch one and have to be taxi for the other. My son is year 4, daughter year 5. Both go to bed at 9 most nights, I don't know many 8 year olds who would be overtired by 8.30! I wouldn't want to not take them, however much an inconvenience, I would worry they'd feel left out and also that school would get a negative view of us as a family.

Artandco · 07/12/2016 21:14

8pm = ridiculously late? Since when? It's 8pm. My 5 year old was finishing dinner around 8pm. In the summer on a Friday night he would likely still be playing outside with us

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:14

which is why you should check which children are able to attend. I know for a fact 10 other children in my sons class wouldn't be able to commit either.

Floggingmolly · 07/12/2016 21:18

How do you know this for a fact?

Isitadoubleentendre · 07/12/2016 21:18

Most her age would have been in bed nearly anbour by the time you are even supposed to collect her,you are definitely not BU!

What, most year 4 children are in bed by 7:15 on a Friday night? God, people are so wet - get some resilience!

gillybeanz · 07/12/2016 21:19

Boney

Children have commitments outside school too.
What about the orchestra who need all the seats filled for a performance, shall they all take a rest sit their and do nothing because their lead violinist had to go mumble through a few songs at school?

What about a child appearing in a professional show, yes, they should miss this for a school production Grin

What about the hockey team with children scouted to join county or national teams. Oh yes, they can miss it to sing a few songs.Grin

Please get real, schools can't cater for many children's activities and they have to do these elsewhere. Asking them to miss it so parents can attend evening performances is ridiculous.

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:19

Because parents talk to each other

Motheroffourdragons · 07/12/2016 21:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

thatdearoctopus · 07/12/2016 21:20

which is why you should check which children are able to attend.

Here we go again! RTFuckingT, why don't you?

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:20

Exactly gillybeanz

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 07/12/2016 21:20

Inthink it's laughable that working parents complain they carnt make arrangements to see a daytime performance then expect everyone else to turn their lives upside down to accommodate them.

Turn their lives upside down. How over dramatic can you get.

Sorry that parents that have to work disturb your life so much. Hmm

Oh and many of those that teach your children are working parents but I guess that's ok as it's benefiting you. Hmm

Mountainhighchair · 07/12/2016 21:21

Fuck me I'm seriously dreading my youngest starting school

When I went we turned up, did our lessons and went home again Confused

Isitadoubleentendre · 07/12/2016 21:22

which is why you should check which children are able to attend.

Nope, still not clear as to how the teachers are supposed to put on a performance just with the 'children who are able to attend'.

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:22

Why is it impossible for you to check first? Why s it so hard for you to grasp that not every child can commit to coming back into school after school hours?

treacle3112 · 07/12/2016 21:23

What a fantastic generation there seems to be, so selfish and entitled.............they then seem to be generating an even worse generation, it's all them them them, no responsibility and nothing is ever their own fault it's always someone else's. I really do feel for them

Motheroffourdragons · 07/12/2016 21:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

my2bundles · 07/12/2016 21:26

Hi think it's selfish and entitled to expect every child to be available for an out of school hours performance.

thatdearoctopus · 07/12/2016 21:26

my2bundles It is not we who are struggling to grasp things on this thread. You have had numerous people attempt to explain to you that it DOES NOT WORK ASKING PEOPLE IN ADVANCE BECAUSE THEY STILL CHANGE THEIR PLANS AT THE LAST MINUTE.

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