to think school can't require dd to come back in the evening for performance?

[tankerdale]

Genuinely don't know if IABU. DD is year 4. Christmas production is a play featuring mainly years 5&6, other children are required to be in a choir. Performance is 6pm on a Friday night which means dropping dd at 5.15 and collecting about 8.15 or going to watch. Dd has end of term-it is, is ryb down and doesn't want to do it. I have two younger children, youngest is 1 and DH isn't reliably back home til 8.30pm so it's really impractical for me to watch or to drive and drop her/collect her with the others. If she wanted to do it I'd probably try harder to make arrangements but she's adamant she doesn't want to. They've been told they have to come back for it unless there's a good reason - but aibu to say she can't come because of practicalities? They can't require it can they?

Of course. There can be evening performances for the children who can commit to them. I will not rearrange my child's life around working parents.

My child does not take part in any extra curricular activity provided by school. His interests are not covered by them.

Oh

Are you seriously suggesting I enforce my child let's down his team?

Are you honestly suggesting that a class can do a call performance with 12 children?

The little girl who was supposed to be Mary in our school's nativity didn't show up to the performance this afternoon (an hour after school). I don't know why-there may be a perfectly reasonable explanation and I expect there is-but it did make me think of this thread 😉

Class*

Would you take him if the evening performance was the only one? Or is it just because you've already seen it so it doesn't matter anymore?

"Are you seriously suggesting I enforce my child let's down his team?"

Well, I am suggesting that he does what many other people do, and tell his coach that he will have to miss one week for a school event.

Of course. There can be evening performances for the children who can commit to them. I will not rearrange my child's life around working parents.

Rearrange your child's life??? Its a one off school performance!

Plus how would you only have evening performances for the children who can commit? Have two separate performances for the two groups of kids?

Are you seriously suggesting I enforce my child lets down his team?

And I'll repeat: yet you're perfectly happy to allow him to let down his entire class.

Oh ffs it's a fucking school play, it really isn't that big a deal.

Are you seriously suggesting I enforce my child let's down his team?

Why, is he supposed to be playing in the FA cup final on the same night as the Christmas play?

Inthink it's laughable that working parents complain they carnt make arrangements to see a daytime performance then expect everyone else to turn their lives upside down to accommodate them.

If not enough children can participate in after school events, don't do them!

Oh ffs it's a fucking school play, it really isn't that big a deal.

Ffs right back. OK we schools will stop running anything extra for YOUR kids. Would suit us absolutely fine.

The selfishness astounds me it honestly does. I did 13 hours at work the day we did the evening performance because I know how much it means for working parents to offer an evening performance. The 'I'm alright' attitude lacks so much empathy for others. Can you not see why we offer these performances and why, as it is practiced as a class performance, performing with dramatically reduced numbers which you can't predict until the event is very difficult.

If you needed the evening performances I bet you'd support them.

He wouldn't be putting he classmates down if school used their common sense and checked which children can commit to an evening performance.

We do. They still let us down.

Turn your lives upside down because they can't go to scouts or football one week! ha!!

Sorry but real life adult work commitments of most parents are prioritised over your kid not making it to Brownies one week.

Bundles, can you not read? You don't seem to be taking in ANYTHING people are telling you. "Checking which children can commit" does not work in reality!

I repeat, 25 replies promising children would be there, 12 turned up.

Fine by me octopus, my DC spend all day at school and tbh I like to see them in the evening.

Having been a teacher I also know I preferred to see my own DC in the evening rather than other people's.

Are you seriously suggesting I enforce my child let's down his team?

You've had a few harsh replies to this, but I'm sure if you started a thread in AIBU asking if it was okay for him to miss a practice or match, you'd have lots of replies talking about his responsibility to his coach and teammates! Where there's a conflict, someone is going to lose out - he can't be in two places at once! I'd say that an obligation to a team he's chosen to be part of is, in most circumstances, the stronger one. Clearly there are people who would weigh it up very differently, though. It's an matter for the individual to decide.

Everything is just 'too much trouble' these days. What a wonderful 'why bother' attitude to instill into your kids

My child is my priority, not the wants of a working parent.

He wouldn't be putting he classmates down if school used their common sense and checked which children can commit to an evening performance.

You still havent really made it clear how logistically you think this would work?