Am I being over optimistic to think this is doable?

[Whatallama]

My husband and I have been invited to a family wedding about 3 hours away from where we live. It's not immediate family, but I'd like to go if at all possible. It's my husbands side of the family, not that it makes much difference.

The problem is that I'm pregnant with our first, and this wedding is on the due date. My husband thinks we'd be nuts to go, but I think it may be doable. If the baby comes before, chances are we wouldn't make it, but if I'm still pregnant, there's no complications, and I still feel ok, then I'm thinking we could do it.

Obviously, we'd have to take everything with us in the car, in case I went into labour there (we'd probably stay the night of the wedding), so all the baby things, car seat, my stuff, maternity notes etc.

Ideally I'd like to just see how we're doing, but I'm not sure that's fair on the bride and groom, because they may well be wasting money on us.

It's still 6 months away, and they don't even know that I'm pregnant yet, but we'll need to chat things through with them.

I know many people will think I'm nuts for even considering this, but if I'm well, AIBU to think that with proper planning, its possible?

I did it.
400 mile round trip with an overnight 2 days before my due date.
Obviously when I RSVPd yes I made it clear that I could never be a definite, and because of this that if the grooms would rather swap me on my full day invite for a guest that was a safer bet in my place that that was tine, but they were up for it and so was I.

The day came, I didn't feel anything was immininent so off me and husband went.

It was great!! Am so glad I did it.

Baby was dragged out 2 weeks later, am very glad I wasn't sitting at home twiddling my thumbs and missing the fun all weekend.

You might be completely different of course! And I could never have done it with a newborn! As others say anything could happen, and you have no idea how you'll feel, but it's definitely bot impossible that you could go and have a good time.

Hmmm Tis' very 'Top that Topper' thread Op. Very funny...
Slightly sad

only1scoop I agree. Reassuring my sil tother day after we felt guilty for taking time off for sickness. Everyone knows someone who was running a marathon and skydiving the day they went into labour. They are largely the exception than the rule. And as for the "your pregnant not I'll" brigade.... Last time I was sick and so exhausted I could barely function it was accepted that I was in fact ill. But of course in pregnancy you just have to endure it.

She not we

You could probably do it (assuming you're still pregnant).

But you would be very unfair to plan on trying IMO. If you tell the bride and groom that you'll see how it goes, you might have to cancel last minute though obviously and would they mind...they'll probably be fine, as most decent people would be. They're not going to ban you and whip your invite back.

But you shouldn't put them in that position in the first place. The places could go to someone else rather than risking them sitting empty last minute. I would decline now.

What would be really interesting to hear from, would be a MNetter who did go a fair way away from home area around due date and did end up having to give birth when she was there. I'm guessing there won't be many that do it by choice, but would certainly be interesting to hear their experience.

These 'positive' stories I've read on the thread don't involve the woman going into labour and having a baby away from home. They involve being v pregnant for the event but no more.

Cos that's the bit that makes me go hot and cold. You can be hugely pregnant (and you will be!) and still manage the trip if you so choose, but actually having to do the birth part and caring for a newborn part several hours away from home, just no. Why would you create possibility of that?

Hi OP, I think your attitude of wanting to keep going with life through pregnancy is fab! I have no children so cannot comment on that aspect of attending, but as someone getting married (in six months - you're not one of my fiancé's cousins are you? ) I think you are doing the right thing to think of declining. Partly because of the risk you wouldn't make it, but also it might be a source of stress for the B&G if you did. Ok you're unlikely to have your waters break during the vows, but to a bridezilla nervous bride it might be a possibility she'd be worried about (maybe not that extreme but the chance you'd go into labour). Whether it happens or not is only one part of the issue, her worry about it is more the point. Labour can also happen very quickly - my nephew was born in the house of a friend my SIL was visiting. Again, probably unlikely, but one more thing for the bride to worry about.

One of my bridesmaids is due around the wedding and will either have a very young baby there or be very pregnant (overdue I think). I'm hoping she will be able to come but I am going to be really worried about her and if she's ok/comfortable. I know I'm not responsible for her as such but I feel it and would feel awful if our wedding affected her birth plans. She's one of my dearest friends so I'm happy to do whatever if it means she can be there but if a guest I was less close to was due on the day of the wedding I really would prefer them to decline.

I have read declining is what you plan to do anyway, just giving you my reasons why I think that would be the right thing to do by the B&G.

One more thing! Your stats about likelihood of giving birth on due date tell you only the actual births on same day. It doesn't tell you who went into labour but didn't give birth on their due date, does it?

I don't wish a lengthy labour on you, but it does happen. 2-3+ days is not terribly unusual. So you could be labouring away on your due date/ trip, but the stats don't really reflect that, I don't think?

My first labour lasted for nearly 2 days and there wasn't a chance I could have travelled back home on a 3 hour journey even in so called 'early' stages. 30 minutes for me in car was way too much even in early stages (I went into hospital in early stages and got sent home again). The hospital don't want you to admit you until labour is well established so you might have to be in your hotel room for it etc? IMO that's a really unpleasant scenario.

I promise that's my last post.

It's just so difficult to predict how you'll feel. My good friend who was due before me breezed through pregnancy (her words) and would have been fine doing this. But unfortunately I'm still sick, and have developed extra uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms that mean I really really don't like being far from home (40 weeks now). A lot of these uncomfortable extras only came on a few weeks ago so I wouldn't have been able to predict how I'd feel in advance. As it stands, there's no way right now that is travel as far as you're suggesting, and if I'd said that I would earlier in pregnancy I'm afraid I'd be cancelling.

Having said that, I would want anyone to have an easy pregnancy, so I really hope your feel well at the end, and if you decide to accept the invitation I hope you're able to go and enjoy yourself!

I went to a wedding in the south of france at 37 weeks. Obviously I had to get the train all the way there - took about 7 hours - and back again. Had a brilliant time hanging out by the pool for most of the time and stayed up to the end etc. By the last day though I felt totally wiped and never really got it back again until DD showed up at 39 weeks. So it is doable, but not necessarily fun and that was for one of my dearest friends. I wouldn't have bothered for a distant cousin (why would you?)

My impression is that the OP wants a story for the future "I went to a wedding 300 miles away at 39 weeks" more than she wants to go to the wedding.