Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

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As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

And as 80% ish carry the dormant virus virtually every newborn would be infected if they could catch it without an active sore.

Sorryto hear this hope ur little one and nanny gets better soon......this and worse could happen at nursery at leaSt ur little one is at home recovering

The NHS page above also says that you may not get sores when you 1St get the the virus. The sores can come later so IP you nanny might not even be responsible.

It can be spread without a cold sore. Please check asymptomatic shedding. A study reported by the US Library of Medicine states "At least 70% of the population shed HSV-1 asymptomatically at least once a month, and many individuals appear to shed HSV-1 more than 6 times per month. "

NHS choices btw is guided by the national institute for clinical excellence (NICE) who research all the relevant papers on the subject, and give the best most relevant advice on the given issues.

Think I prefer what they say to mumsnet twaddle.

World Health Organsisation differs slightly from the NHS site especially in the area of transmission. My own child's experience aligns with the WHO facts.
www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs400/en/

Adsss, that is a brilliant link and explains it perfectly. I would more people would be responsible. I recently saw the relative I believe gave me the virus 60 years ago. She had an outbreak and was about to kiss one of my grandchildren. I was so angry. I never kiss a child on the mouth. My children have never had outbreaks and I hope I haven't passed it on. The blood test for HSV1 isn't particularly good, generally reckoned to miss 30% of infections, so even if they were tested negative I couldn't be sure.

I'm sure there are a small number of cases transmitted when there are sub clinical cold sores. The tingling when they are about to start can sometimes subside on their own if your immunity can beat it down. There is nothing visible at this time. But those cases are very minimal compared to the active sores. There are always exceptions to the rules. I've have a couple of cold sores in the past but have not stopped kissing the DSs when they've not been in evidence because there is virtually no risk.

Bit like being hit by a meteorite. All you can do is use common sense.

Granny. So we'd better not kiss anybody, ever then if 80% of us are infected?

Common sense gone out the window if no one can kiss 'just in case'

I'd be fuming !!!! My husband gets them and not passed them to any of our children and our eldest is 14 !!!!

Its a cold sore not a life threatening disease I think your being totally ridiculous about it my kids get cold sores and doesn't effect them in the slightest sounds like your just looking for an excuse to blame your nanny harsh maybe but how I see it

Olympiathequeen, in the UK it is reckoned that 54% of adults aged 25 to 34 have the HSV1 virus orally. The figure increases with age and the 80% figure inclues HSV2.

The mucous membranes are more susceptible to the virus, unbroken skin is unlikely to lead to an infection, hence people most frequently acquire the infection on the mouth or genitals. No one needs to kiss a child on the mouth, the forehead, the cheeks etc convey the same message without the danger of passing on infection.

A common place with normal skin where people get an infection is round the nails, then it is called a herpetic whitlow. This area is susceptible because people bite or tear the skin round the nail.

Oral herpes is a horrible infection if you are one of the unlucky people whose immune system doesn't cope well with it. I have a normal immune system, don't get lots of colds or flu but for some reason my body just doesn't cope with the herpes virus. My teenage years were a misery, I rarely managed to go on a date, go to a disco, dance or party without a cold sore. It does wonders for your ego.

I have only managed to get it under control in the last two years by using acyclovir tablets. It has changed my life, I am no longer living in fear of the tingle.

I am also someone who feels really unwell when I have an outbreak, I have fever and swollen lymphnodes and feel as if I am getting flu.

You might think its nothing but to be honest that is down to ignorance.
I think adults can take responsibility for themselves, decide to kiss you or not, decide to ask if you know you have the virus but a young child isn't able to make that decision.

Actually, having a cold sore is a pretty good reason for calling sick if you work with babies or children, as the virus can be pretty dangerous, especially for new borns. See: www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Where have I said its nothing?

I've said it can cause serious illness

I've also not advocated kissing children on the mouth, but you don't have to do that to pass on the virus if you have an active cold sore.

I kiss my children and other family members if I don't have an active sore (and I've only had a couple of minor outbreaks).

If you make a choice not to kiss anyone that's your decision but you can't dictate to others, based on inaccurate science, not to do so just because you have a bad experience.

Youre basically saying no one can kiss their young child because they have had a cold sore 5 years ago just in case they have a rare incidence of viral shedding?

I used to work for NHS direct as a senior nurse so I had to have a good grasp of the facts and a common sense approach to health advice.

I am staggered by the over reaction to this! I've had cold sores since childhood, 1/4 of my children gets them - it's just not a big deal. If you child got ill and feverish she probably got a virus from somewhere and as a result - a cold sore - probably not nanny at all!
People don't generally get ill with a cold sore - YABU and really really precious imo.

I would think it was a coincidence the nanny had a cold sore and now your daughter has one. The incubation period is relatively long. The NHS site also doesn't recommend taking time off work with one see below

"Preventing infection
It's not possible to prevent infection with the herpes simplex virus or prevent outbreaks of cold sores, but you can take steps to minimise the spread of infection.
Cold sores are at their most contagious when they burst (rupture), but remain contagious until they're completely healed. Avoid close contact with others until your cold sore has completely healed and disappeared.
However, there's no need to stay away from work or miss schoolif you or your child have a cold sore."

I've had cold sores since childhood. My 6 year old has never caught one nor my husband. Get real!

Olympia but you are just wrong when you say "It cannot spread unless there are active sores."

My exDP's presented as a vague rash around his eyes. He had no idea what it was. There were certainly no open sores when he gave it to me. So you are wrong no matter how "common sense" your approach is

I suggest you do as a PP has suggested and read up on asymptomatic shedding - especially before you start dishing out advice as a medical professional.

I've suffered from cold sores all my life. I don't know how or why I got the first one when I was a young child. They appear when I am run down or sick, a pain but really not a terrible thing in the grand scheme of things. I have a husband and three kids, none of whom have ever had one. I can't claim to practice clean hygiene every time I have had one as often I will forget and give my babies a kiss (remember afterwards usually the way). It's just bad luck. I wouldn't worry OP. I hope your child is otherwise healthy.

Just to add, use the cream. It's a wonder. Buy the non branded aclivior (sp) - much cheaper and same thing - although if you want to go to the GP (not necessary IMO) you'll get a prescription.

I have to agree with several PP, Olympia - I'm afraid your advice is partially incorrect and outdated.
HSV 1 and 2 can be present on either genitals or orally, and both can be shed asymptomatically. Clearly with visible open lesions, there is a higher chance of transmission.
I'm a consultant obstetrician/gynaecologist who has specialised in sexual and reproductive health, so have a fair bit of experience in this area.

YANBU but nothing you can do.

I have cold sores, have had since my late teens/early twenties.
Yes, we call carry the virus but it takes direct contact to spread it (I think!).
I am scrupulous at home, wash my hands often, use my own towel, mug, etc when I have an outbreak.
Once you have one, they can spread all over your mouth, under nose, etc once they get active. They are triggered by sun/cold and are just awful.

I really sympathise.

nothing? I'd be furious too, but there is nothing to do now unless you think the situation would be better if you punished or fired her?! If she's otherwise a good Nanny let it go.

I would not say you are being unreasonable, but your DD could have picked up the virus from anywhere, especially if she goes to nursery or preschool. You don't know for certain that she got it from the nanny.