Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

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As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

Did she give the child a cold sore on purpose ? No

Stop being such a hysterical parent

Good god almighty! If I was your nanny I would leave and find an employer who didn't accuse me of infecting their child!
Your daughter has not caught the cold sore from your nanny, her immune system had a virus and the cold sore developed from that! Now get a grip and live with it. There are worse things she could catch.

Perhaps the real problem is that you would rather not have to need a nanny. If you feel this strongly about something like this, I would look at ways in which you can give up work and therefore give up your nanny and be a full time Mum. The time with little ones goes very very quickly and you can't get that time back. When you at at home full time with your child, you will be more laid back and realise that things like cold sores just happen. Life happens. No one is to blame and it is a small trivial matter. Don't live your life full of what ifs and blame though. If it's changeable look to what can be changed and change it, whilst she is still little.

Yabu. It is just a cold sore!

You're being very unreasonable. Cold sores are contagious, however careful the nanny was, there was always going to be a risk of passing it on, especially if she is in the habit of casually kissing your daughter and maybe forgot. It was your responsibility to send her off duty. And tbh, your daughter's life is hardly blighted ... cold sores are unpleasant but rife, and people manage just fine.

Incidentally I didn't have an active cold sore when Dd got her 1St.

Just so your aware. A cold sore has no symptoms other than the Cold sore it's self usually. Cold symptoms and swollen glands could be the cause of it, not symptom of it. It is extreme cases where a cold sore causes illness. The virus becomes dormant and has to be triggered by something. I get Cold sore when I'm stressed. I don't know who I got them off but doctor told me it may not have been 'caught' off anyone as it's airborne. A cold sore isn't the end of the world unless your the minute percentage that gets seriously effected by it. I've never gave them to my kids and I've had them for years. I get one probably twice a year since I turned 18. Grow up and stop blaming your nanny. If you were that bothered. You should have sent her home. Simple as.

Really if you don't want to catch anything then go and build a sterile environment and go live in it, don't interface with other human beings..eat only boiled sterile food and what ever you do don't you dare poo...as you'd be sharing those little bugs we all carry inside us with those in there with you and yourself... Can people just get a life...little lovely dd possibly could have caught whatever from who knows where...I mean I often catch a cold but not sure the precise identity of who from..it's called life...two arms two legs food on the table be grateful... I suggest your nanny finds another job where she is not the scape goat for little dds illnesses

Very unreasonable - like she meant to pass it on?? Kids get ill - get over it!

until i just googled it i never realised cold sores were contagious. apparently they are highly contagious yet i have had many over the years and neither my children or husband have. very odd. so i think yabu. i am also wondering whether nannies get paid if they dont work

Forgive my ignorance but I have no first hand experience of cold sores and don't know how the virus is transmitted.... does it have to be via direct face to face contact? If so, I wouldn't be too happy about the nanny getting so close to my children. Just saying

No you are Nbu- I'd be upset too

Most people pass the virus on when they haven't got a cold sore. People think it is OK if they haven't got a sore but you can be shedding the virus without a sore. People shouldn't kiss children on the mouth, I've got flamed on here for saying that but it is true. Adults passing on something that is for life is really unfair.

OP generally the first outbreak is the worst, I've had cold sores since I was 3 and 60 years later I still get them although I take acyclovir tablets now at the first sign and it generally stops them or reduces the severity.

Only dirty people get cold sores.

OP your DD is dirty.

Well- I'll admit now I haven't read the full thread and will do so later but I would be absolutely devastated if this happened to my child. A family member had cold sores growing up and hygiene was and always is now scrupulous.

The virus is awful and I would personally hate to walk around with my mouth covered in scabs or see my kids with the same. I have encouraged my kids not to kiss other people goodbye.

Do are absolutely NOT unreasonable OP. I couldn't employee someone with cold sores to look after my kids

😂😂😂😂 only on MN!!!

YABVU. Why didn't you send her home? It's not her fault. Lots of people carry the herpes virus, your DD could have caught it from someone else.

Wow- some real misunderstanding of cold sore virus. I've had them since I was a child- nothing to do with an STD so is worrying that people think that's what it is when I'm walking round with one! My triggers are stress, sunlight and extreme cold! So unfortunately get at least a couple of year. Nothing to do with poor hygiene. Obviously I make sure to wash hands all the time and not get it near people when I have one but I'd be very offended if someone judged me just for having one- that's like being judged for having freckles- nothing I can do :/
I'd agree YABU for being furious with nanny- you decided not to send her home. However I recommend the Compeed patches should it happen again- they physically cover up the cold sore so much less likely to pass it on. From a hygienic, responsible, STD free,
cold sore sufferer!

Nothing like hijacking a post to have a dig at working mothers hey Mumsy6216 ...oh the Stay-At-Home-Smug-Brigade will love this post OP!

There are two main types of herpes. Herpes simplex 1, which prefers to live around the upper spinal cord causing cold sores, and herpes simplex 2 which prefers to live at the base of the spinal cord causing genital herpes. Both can be passed to the other region but tend to not result in multiple outbreaks.
If you have either virus you can shed it regardless of whether you currently have sores
Which is why when DH and I had sex during a mutual bout of swine flu I ended up with his herpes simplex 1 on my genitals. Not fun, but unlikely to occur again.

I think it's a bit ridiculous that people are calling you out for not sending her home. Of course she can work with a cold sore. You can control whether you kiss someone, share a cup/towel/wash your hands properly etc. She's looking after your child and cold sores can be really dangerous in young children. They can be fatal for babies and they are really painful for a child. I'd be furious too and I'd have concerns about her hygiene. I'm not sure I would want a nanny that could allow this to happen. I think you are within your rights to sack someone in these circumstances.

YABVU. Your dd may or may not have caught it from your nanny. Your nanny caught the virus from someone else, possibly someone's adored dc. As she goes through life your dd will be exposed to all sorts of viruses and if she picks them up she will expose other people to them. It's life.

If you believe in apportioning blame do make sure you isolate your dd if her cold sore erupts again so she doesnt infect anyone else. Otherwise she risks infecting her teachers, carers, friends, family, future nannies etc - and of course that will be your/her fault. You will also need to keep her isolated if she gets any number of other viruses - chicken pox, colds and flus, vomiting bugs.. Or perhaps you could just be kind to your nanny.

I find your attitude utterly baffling…..