Not wanting to spend NYE with a newborn?

[Justheretojudge]

Me and my DP decided to go to a NYE event our favourite bar/restaurant are doing this year. Another couple of friends said they want to come too, but are insisting they bring their month old baby with them.

Whilst I get it's their first christmas new year with their first child, and want to spend time with them, a busy bar/restaurant on New Year's Eve isn't really appropriate is it? It will be loud, noisy, late at night, cold later on full of drunk people. Surely this would be no fun for the child?

Allot of other young couples, groups of friends will be celebrating, and I'm sure they wouldn't really enjoy being forced to spend my NYE with a baby.

What I cant understand is where the OP expects her friends to park their baby for the night
It's a baby, not a car ffs, you don't 'park' it anywhere. If you want to go out and don't have the option of a babysitter, there's 3 choices, imo:

• one of you goes and the other stays behind with the baby
• neither of you go
• both go and take the baby with you, but accept the fact that however polite people are, they're probably not as delighted to see you precious newborn as you like to think they are.

My dc were both born in late November. I'd never have taken them to a club/restaurant on the busiest night of the year, can't think of anything worse, tbh. But then I was never one of those parents who said that having children wasn't going to change my life and then expected other adults to accommodate my choices by bringing them to events where adults want to enjoy a child free environment. People pay good money for babysitters for their own dc on NYE, why should they have to put up with other people's? It's called being a parent - life changes. There'll be lots of parties once the dc are older.

then expected other adults to accommodate my choices by bringing them to events where adults want to enjoy a child free environment

I can't really see how anyone is harmed by a small baby's presence.

Well, for a start you don't know if it's going to be in a sling. Prams and car seats take up a lot of space around a table.

I was thinking about this. At no point did the OP say that the baby would be tucked up in as tidy sling on its mothers chest, bfing on demand. The sort of people who would cheerfully bring a new born to a bar on NYE (and I agree with a PP that a bar is totally different to a party) are probably not going to consider whether taking their behemoth PFB pram will be appropriate either.....

I can't really see how anyone is harmed by a small baby's presence

Well potentially the venue...they could loose their license if a baby is in the bar after the cut off point...

People really should check that first before expecting to just turn up...

No one is being harmed attenco what a silly thing to say!

But it does change a dynamic, no matter how much you would like to think it doesnt. It is an adults only evening in a bar, not a party with all ages attending in someones home. I have 6 kids that I utterly adore and love spending time with, but I would be bloody pissed off in the OPs shoes if someone else unilaterally decided that our adults only evening suddenly wasnt.

I love all the 'well I took my baby to x event and everybody loved it' posts.

Has nobody worked out yet that it is socially unacceptable to say 'why the fuck did you bring your baby' and that manners demand one makes a fuss of the baby and looks delighted.

I guarantee half the revellers are to this day saying 'christ Brian, remember that time Susan brought her baby to that all day rave'.

At no point did the OP say that the baby would be tucked up in as tidy sling on its mothers chest, bfing on demand

Well yes - bringing an unsettled, colicky baby to a rowdy drunken bar and parking your travel system in the middle of the dance floo U.

Bringing a sleepy/BFing baby in a sling to a neighbourhood restaurant where everyone will be seeing in the new year in a more civilised fashion - not so U.

We don't know which it is.

*Dance floor - massively U

The way the OP described it as a bar/restaurant says to me that it isnt a nice village gastropub, but more a wine bar type place with a restaurant attached, there are three of these type places in my town and a baby being there would NOT be popular! They are very fashionable "places to see and be seen" and if it is the same sort of place then the door staff wouldnt even let them in!

Ok. Say the baby is in a sling. Covered by a wrap. Asleep. Taken out if it makes any noise.

Still a problem?

I can't really see how anyone is harmed by a small baby's presence
Nobody is 'harmed' ffs, but it completely changes the dynamics of an adult night out. Why can't adults some of whom may have paid a small fortune for a babysitter have a night out without other people's children?
I know from experience that some parents completely over estimate how welcome their pfb's and even worse, older siblings are at adult events. People are polite, but that doesn't mean they're as thrilled to see the precious offspring as you imagine they are.

Of course, but I cant be arsed to explain why again

I shall paint a picture of my local. It's a family friendly chain with food available. Most of the people who drink in there regularly are over 30. It attracts raucous groups of 50 something women who would just love to find a baby out on NYE so they could make a fuss of it and make a loud nuisance of themselves with plenty of unsolicited advice for the new parents. But baby won't mind all those gin fumes in its face.

Yes.

On the count of the fact there's a very good chance the baby won't legally be allowed in the venue.

Plus I wouldn't wanna he in the middle of the inevitable eye Rolling or passive aggressive exchanges when one of the couple drinks far more than they said they would leaving one of them wearing the sling all night without a break...

I'm afraid I think YABVVVVVU.

Not many breastfeeding mums will want to or even be able to leave a month old baby for the evening. And before someone says 'express and give them a bottle', it's not always that straight forward.

A baby that age won't impact on your night out. It with either sleep or feed most of the night. Maybe tucked up in a sling so you won't even notice. You probably won't be needed to do much interacting for sure - they don't interest much at that age! If the baby does happen to cry a lot (and it may well not) then most likely the parents will take it home as they won't be having much fun.

I'd have some sympathy for the parents who are trying to balance a night out with a newborn and want to spend NYE with friends.

Sometimes you have to accept that having children changes what you can do, at least for a while.

Missing one NYE celebration in a bar isn't the end of the world.

I work in a pub. No kids after 8pm.

On Saturday night we were all clock watching waiting to be able to ask the group who had bought a newborn in to leave. The baby was screaming on and off constantly, and there is nothing like a baby's scream to cut through the sounds of a Saturday night in a pub. The baby had a huge travel system that was blocking some the bar

Posted too soon sorry.

The other customers complained to us about the crying, and maybe I should have gone over and said something prior to 8pm but honestly I didn't have the words. The baby was breast fed, and I was mostly worried that we would end up with a negative trip advisor review from them if I told them to leave earlier than 8pm, or told them to keep the baby quiet (although how exactly they could do that on my command I've no idea!).

We had several people drink up and leave during the baby's crying.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that there are some places a baby just isn't welcome. Not many, but a busy pub on a Saturday night is one. NYE even more so.

The pubs I worked in children were allowed in the restraunt area only. And only when eating a meal with an adult.

Given that often on big events one Xmas and NYE the food service is often limited to private parties who have pre booked or shit off early to make room for more people drinking it's unlikely that the baby will be allowed.

Even if they do serve food the baby won't be allowed past a certain time.

• It will be loud, noisy, late at night, cold later on full of drunk people.

Sounds a shite night out. Having a small baby would give me the perfect excuse not to go.

Yeah I cab see the arguments now with a cold exhausted baby and the parents waiting ages fir a taxi snapping about there being no car seats and forgetting it's going to take twice as long and charge twice as much as a regular night..

OP Yanbu and if I were you I would make alternative plans as there is a high probability that your friends will be going home early.

A baby that age won't impact on your night out
Yes it will actually. Love how some parents turn up at adult events wearing the baby and assume that people don't either notice or mind
Are parents really so self absorbed thick that they don't notice the other adults gritting their teeth and pretending that yes of course it's fine that you you've brought your baby to an adult 's night out. They've moved heaven and earth to get a babysitter and here you are dangling pfb in front of them on what may be their first, eagerly anticipated night out for ages.
Get a babysitter or stay at home, ffs.

I don't know why people are assuming that the newborn will sleep peacefully s/he could just as easily bawl the place down

My babies were very sensitive to new environments at that age and would have struggled in a pub. Even toddler groups I sometimes had to leave as my youngest wanted to be home- and that's at just 3 or 4 weeks old.
It wasn't the noise so much as the unfamiliar surroundings.